Male Education
by Shanna1
Summary: The men of the SGC need a little education when it comes to the women of the SGC.
1. Phase One

"I can't they did that. I mean that's such a sexist attitude." Dr Janet Fraiser exclaimed.  
  
"I know. What do I know about babies? I mean she was cute but the Colonel had a kid, Teal'c got a kid and Daniel spent plenty of time with kids on Abdoys. But I do have a plan."  
  
"Really. Let's hear it." Sam proceeded to tell Janet her plan. "I'm going to have to get my camera out if Hammond agrees."  
  
"I'm on my way to see him now. I'll let you know how things work out."  
  
* * *  
  
"I think it's a wonderful idea Major. It will be an excellent addition to the training programme."  
  
"Thank you sir." Sam smiled. "I've contacted Principal Smart. She said to call her back and let her know how many we wished to borrow."  
  
"Borrow as many as possible. We'll begin the training exercise on Monday." He said as he held open the door to his office for her.  
  
"Yes sir." She smiled and walked out into the briefing room to see her CO sat at the table.  
  
"What was all that about Carter?" Colonel Jack O'Neill asked.  
  
"New training programme, sir." She replied.  
  
"Care to fill me in?" He asked.  
  
"You'll find out on Monday Colonel. If you'll excuse me I have a phone call to make." She walked towards the door.  
  
"Hold it Major. I'm 2IC of this base if there is going to be a new training programme I need to know about it."  
  
"As I said sir you will on Monday."  
  
"We're on downtime on Monday. So I for one won't be here."  
  
"I think you will sir. But I really do have to go." She left before he could say anything.  
  
'Something was going' Jack thought as he knock on Hammond's office door.  
  
"Come." The General's Texan accent replied.  
  
"Sir, Major Carter said something about a new training programme, but wouldn't elaborate. I was wondering if you would tell me what was going on."  
  
"You'll find out on Monday. All SGC male team members who aren't going on missions will be required to meet in the gate room at 0900 for a briefing by Major Carter."  
  
"But sir." Jack protested.  
  
"No buts Colonel. But let's put it this way it will be an educational experience and one to teach you not to take female members for granted."  
  
"Now I'm suspicious."  
  
"Dismissed Colonel. Finish your paperwork and go home and I'll see you on Monday. A memo will be out to you within the hour."  
  
* * *  
  
Monday 0900 Gate Room SGC Cheyenne Mountain Complex  
  
"At ease." General Hammond ordered the gathered men. The female team members were all congregated in the control room to see the men's reactions to Sam's plan. "For sometime I have been concerned with the attitudes of this command towards the female members. In recent weeks I have received three complaints about female team members being expected to carry out certain tasks because they are female. To that end I have invoked privilege and created a new training scheme, which will be co-ordinated by Major Carter. For phase one Major Carter will now brief you."  
  
"Thank you sir." Sam said as she stepped up onto the ramp. "As a few of you may last week while on a mission to PX3-092 I was literally left holding the baby while the rest of SG-1 went on a tour of the village."  
  
"What's she planning?" Daniel whispered to Jack.  
  
"I have no idea. But I think we're going to find out." Jack replied.  
  
"With the help of Barbara Smart, Principal at Cassandra Fraiser's school we have gained a method to help with the training. All off world missions have been suspended for the next week. "You are each being given a box and a key which is attached to a wrist band which cannot be taken off without a special device," Sam indicated the stack of cardboard boxes which Janet was handing. "Full instructions are provided. Tampering will be detected and rewiring is not an option as I personally have been over each of these objects and can tell if damage is done. Further more if one becomes broken you will be personally liable for the cost of replacement." There was a quick mumbling as the men wondered what was in the boxes.  
  
"Quiet, Major Carter is not finished." General Hammond announced.  
  
"We, and by that I mean your female team members, feel that you are not in touch with your feminine sides or your child rearing sides. So gentlemen congratulations are in order as I would like to announce you are all the proud parents of Baby Think It Over dolls for the next week."  
  
The was a large protest from the crowd.  
  
"This isn't optional it's an order." Hammond said. "Enjoy your time, all reports are due at the usual time, those on downtime you still are on downtime. Major Carter and the maintenance crew will be carrying a system update and maintenance of the Stargate. There is nothing else to add so you are dismissed."  
  
The disgruntled men left carrying the boxes, leaving Janet and SG-1.  
  
"Oh Major," Jack said.  
  
"Yes sir?" Sam said in her most innocent tone of voice.  
  
"Would care to explain how you came up with this suggestion?"  
  
"Sir, I will as soon as I activate all your dolls." She took the key off the top of Jack's box and attached it around his wrist. Then opened the box and took the doll out and placed the key in the back. "There you go. It needs a name, if it cries you put the key in the back and if you abandon it I'll know, because the computer inside records everything." While Sam had helped Jack, Janet had helped Daniel and Teal'c activate their dolls.  
  
"I'd better get back to the infirmary." Janet announced. "I'll be there when you need to hide out." She whispered to Sam as she left.  
  
"So the explanation?" Jack repeated.  
  
"I'll explain on the way back to my lab I need to get my notes for the system updates." She smiled.  
  
"Fine." Jack huffed as he did Daniel's doll let out a cry. He quickly inserted the key and the cry ceased. Jack shot him a look.  
  
"What? Cassie had one for a school project a few weeks ago, I baby sat when she went to a movie with Janet." They stepped into the lift.  
  
"A few weeks ago, General Hammond asked me if I could think of anything to increase male sensitivity and change the male attitudes around the base. Then when you dumped me with the baby, however cute she was, and I remembered Cassie's project. The General agreed so here we are. You all have a week of fun for which you are mainly on downtime, and I am going to be here updating the gate."  
  
"You that all the marines are going to be gunning for you don't you Sam." Daniel said tentatively.  
  
"Don't worry about me I can handle a few marines. Besides I'll let you in on a little secret. The team with the best results and the dolls best taken care of get to spend the weekend on P3X-201 for a little R and R."  
  
"Isn't that the uninhabited paradise we found a few months ago? The one with the white sandy beaches and palm trees?"  
  
"Yep. So guys take care of those dolls I could do with some sun." She said as she entered her lab. "Have a nice week I'll see you on Thursday."  
  
Wednesday 1450 Major Carter's lab, SGC, Cheyenne Mountain Complex  
  
"Hey Carter. How's it going?" Jack asked.  
  
"Fine sir. I thought you were still on downtime until tomorrow."  
  
"I am but I can't really do anything without bit crying so I decided to come in and do some work."  
  
"So what did you decide to call it?" Sam asked glad to be taking a break from her calculations.  
  
"Bit."  
  
"Bit?" Sam asked questioningly.  
  
"Yeah. As in little bit annoying, but not as annoying as the Tok'ra." Sam smiled. "So how many death threats have you got so far."  
  
"Not many after General Hammond said I could have a zat, for some reason it kept people in line. We've only had one drop out so we're doing pretty well."  
  
"Someone actually managed to convince you to let them drop out?" Jack asked. 'Why hadn't he thought of that.'  
  
"Yes. Lieutenant Franks, the doll kept waking up his baby daughter so General Hammond and I decided he was getting enough practice we'd let him off."  
  
"Carter, when Hammond was giving his little speech he said something about this being phase one. So what have you go planned for phase two?"  
  
"Nothing as of yet though we have had a few suggestions for using Mac'hello's body switching device so the men can experience the wonders of period pains. But then we realised the implications and the fact that most of the men would look at what they weren't supposed to so it was scrapped. Do you have any ideas sir?"  
  
"Not really as long as it doesn't keep me up at night."  
  
"I'll take that under consideration sir. If your bored Daniel and Teal'c are in the lounge."  
  
"I thought Teal'c was spending the week at Daniel's."  
  
"Daniel wanted to finish translating something, he and Teal'c seem to be having fun. Daniel decided to call his doll George because he looked like General Hammond and Teal'c decided on Sh'ola. But I take it you didn't come in just to complain."  
  
"No. Dreaded paperwork. I figured since I could concentrate for very long with out with Bit crying I do some paperwork since my attention span would only last that long." With that Bit let out a wail. "See." He inserted the key and the doll silenced.  
  
"Have fun sir. And next time don't leave me holding the baby." She smiled as he left.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Major Carter has the results from our experiment." Hammond announced as he stood in the middle of the ramp.  
  
"It's taken a little while to review all the results." Sam said taking over the briefing. "But there are some awards to hand out. Dr Fraiser." Janet joined Sam on the ramp.  
  
"The award for worst results overall goes to Major Donavan." Janet announced. The men stood silent while the women clapped furiously in the control room. The Major sheepishly collected his reward.  
  
"The next award is for longest amount of time left crying at 4 hours the award goes to Lieutenant Harris." Janet and Sam continued handing out awards.  
  
"Two awards left. Firstly the award for best overall results goes to Teal'c."  
  
"Hey buddy." Jack slapped him on the back. Teal'c accepted his award and nodded your head.  
  
"Before General Hammond presents the final award I would like to say congratulations to all of you. You've worked hard and hopefully you've learned something. I also thank you for not threatening to kill me as often as I thought you would." There was a brief sound of laughter before General Hammond took his place on the ramp.  
  
"The final award goes to the team with best overall marks. As reward for good team dynamics and hard work, the winners will receive a new mission to P3X-201 for a weekend's downtime. And the winners are." He opened the envelope Sam handed him. ". SG-3. Congratulations gentlemen. You depart at 0800 Saturday morning."  
"We were beaten by Marines?" Jack questioned.  
  
"Sorry sir." Sam apologised. "SG-1 were a close second."  
  
"Major, when you decide whatever phase 2 is and if there is a decent reward find something we might actually win. That's an order."  
  
"Yes sir. If you'll excuse me I have to return the dolls to the school.  
A/N If anyone can come up with a suggestion for a phase 2 of a plan to make the men appreciate the women more. Let me know. 


	2. Phase Two

"Nice of you to join us Major." Jack said sarcastically as Sam came through the gate into the embarkation room. Jack had already removed his hat and was stood waiting with the General for her return.  
  
"Sorry sir, I had a slight problem with my shoes. General permission to remove them?"  
  
"Granted Major." Sam slipped her shoes off and held them in her hand.  
  
"Shoes are shoes Carter next time keep up."  
  
"Will all due respect Colonel, women's dress shoes are different from men's dress shoes and combat boots. After I got my heel stuck, I tried call out to all of you but you'd already come through the gate. I had to try and find a dignified way of getting myself free with out causing a diplomatic incident by revealing more than I should to the delegation who were seeing us off sir."  
  
"Whatever next just keep up next time." He started to head for the door. Sam scowled at him, then a flash of inspiration hit her. She looked at General Hammond for approval, he smiled and nodded.  
  
"Colonel." Jack stopped and turned around, spinning his hat around with his hands.  
  
"Yes Major."  
  
"What size are your combat boots sir?"  
  
"11 why?"  
  
"General, when did you want to debrief?" Sam asked turning back to Hammond.  
  
"It appears you have a meeting with Dr Fraiser after your post-mission exam will two hours be sufficient enough time?"  
  
"Yes sir." Sam smiled.  
  
"You can brief me on the outcome of that meeting after the post mission debrief."  
  
"Yes sir." She walked out of the room, Jack followed her.  
  
"So Carter what was that about my combat boots?"  
  
"Just a general enquiry sir. If you'll excuse me I need out of my dress uniform as General Hammond mentioned I have a meeting with Janet."  
  
"Go ahead but I will get to the bottom of this Major."  
  
"I'm sure you will sir." She called over her shoulder.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Sgt Siler, just who I was looking for." Jack said as he cornered Siler in the commissary.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill, was your mission successful sir?"  
  
"Yes, but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."  
  
"Sir?" Siler asked.  
  
"What do you know about bugs?"  
  
"Not a lot, perhaps you should ask one of the entomologists sir." He suggested.  
  
"Not that kind of bug, listening device bugs."  
  
"Can I ask why you want to know sir? If you're worried about base security we complete sweeps for bugs every night and the sweeps during the day on the lower levels."  
  
"My point was can you make one?"  
  
"Yes sir, but Major Carter would be a better person to ask as she builds the test bugs for training purposes."  
  
"It's Major Carter I need to listen in on. She's acting strangely I want to make sure she is okay." Actually he wanted to make sure she didn't have something bad planned but he wasn't about to tell Siler that.  
  
"You could just use the security cameras sir." Siler suggested. "It would easier than bugging the base sir. Besides Major Carter's lab has instruments which detect emitted frequencies, she'd probably pick up on it."  
  
"That aside what happens to the bugs she makes?"  
  
"She takes them apart again, apart from the she used to bug your office last year that actually looked like a bug, I think she keeps it in her safe sir."  
  
"Thanks Siler, you've been a great help."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Sam that's just evil. I like it." Janet smiled.  
  
"It's been almost two months since the doll thing. As all the SG team leaders are make this should prove interesting."  
  
"Do you think the General will go for it?"  
  
"He seemed to indicate he would when I asked Colonel O'Neill what size his boots were."  
  
"I'd pay good money to see it."  
  
"Well some people are going to have to accompany them, a Doctor would be a great asset just in case they fall, wouldn't want them to injure themselves would we."  
  
"Let me know what the General says."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Daniel, I don't suppose you know the combination for Carter's safe do you?"  
  
"No, Sam would probably be the person to ask, considering it's her safe." Daniel pointed out.  
  
"I can't ask her, I need to borrow something with her knowing."  
  
"What?"  
  
"A bug."  
  
"As in a creepy crawly?" Jack shook his head. "Isn't there some military regulation about bugging other people's offices?"  
  
"She's up to something, she's getting all cosy with the Doc and she has a meeting with Hammond. Last time she was like this we ended up with those damn dolls."  
  
"Try this." Daniel tossed him a small device.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"A spy listening device. It's Cassie's she left here when she came to borrow a book for her history project. You plug in a set of headphones. It only works over a few metres and not through solid concrete walls.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"We've got to go anyway, the debriefing starts in ten minutes."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Fins a suitable planet and you have a go for next week." Hammond said as he and Sam walked out of his office.  
  
"Thank you sir."  
  
"Colonel O'Neill, busy with you late reports I hope." Hammond said as he saw Jack sat at the briefing room table. The listening device hadn't worked so Jack had hung around in case he could hear anything.  
  
"Yes sir, you know how I love paperwork."  
  
"Good. Major remember to organise a MALP to record it for posterity."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Jack looked at the memo on his desk for the tenth time. Why did he need to wear his dress uniform to the weekly meeting of the SG team leaders? If someone important was coming he would have already been told and the base would have been on alert.  
  
Despite this he was still worried about Carter's meeting with the General. It had almost been a week and nothing had happened. Every time he'd asked her about it she had replied it was classified and General Hammond had told him to wait and see.  
  
There was no point worrying about it, luckily tomorrow was going to be a light day, team leaders meet followed by a quiet afternoon of paperwork. No teams were off world due to the fact that they had all been busy lately and everyone had paperwork to catch up on, that was except Carter who had it all finished and complete.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
When Jack arrived for the meeting the next morning he found the table adorned with pink boxes. Each box bore the name of an SG team leader and a warning not to open them.  
  
"Colonel, I see you are the first one here. Take seat while we wait for the others."  
  
"General what's with all the boxes?"  
  
"You'll find out at the end of the meeting. Ah gentlemen come in." He said as the others joined them. "Don't touch the boxes until I order you too."  
  
Three-quarters of the way through the meeting Sam entered the briefing room.  
  
"Sorry to intrude General, sirs."  
  
"Take a seat Major we're almost done here."  
  
"Yes sir." Sam sat in a corner out of the way. Jack knew she was behind the boxes and he couldn't figure out why she was dressed in camouflage trousers rather than the typical blue or green they usually wore.  
  
"So gentlemen was there anything anyone wanted to add?" They all shook there heads.  
  
"Can we open the boxes yet sir?" Major Devlin asked.  
  
"Not quite yet. Major Carter I think this is where you come in." General Hammond pushed back his chair from the table.  
  
"Thank you sir." Sam took her place at the top of the table. "Good morning. Captain, Majors, Colonels, welcome to phase two." Jack groaned and put his head on his arms.  
  
"Colonel." Hammond scolded.  
  
"Sorry sir. Please continue Major."  
  
"General Hammond and I both feel that as the leaders of the SG teams you should lead by example. We will be departing for P7J 714 in thirty minutes time for four hours of training. P7J 714 is an uninhabited and abandoned planet, with no known Goa'uld activity in the region. As such you won't be required to bring weapons however we will bringing a small arsenal just in case. Dress uniforms are a requirement for this mission, however we recommend that you leave all badges, medals and insignia behind. Additional items, which you are required to wear, are in the boxes you have received. Everything should be of the correct size any problems contact Dr Fraiser. Any questions?"  
  
"Yes, why do you keep doing this to us?" Jack put his head back on his hands.  
  
"Because I asked her too. The President this kind of training is beneficial since you interact with all kinds of people off world. Major if you'd like to finish checking the equipment."  
  
"Yes sir." Sam left.  
  
"Gentlemen, Major Carter is in charge of this mission, and therefore should be treated with respect and no pulling rank on her. These situations are designed to fester a better understanding of your female colleagues. If anyone disregards her orders or acts in an unprofessional manner, you will find yourself in the Brig when you get back on charges of insubordination. Dismissed." Hammond left the men to open the boxes. Jack's head was still on the table.  
  
"Jack you're going to have to stop pissing her off." Ferretti stated.  
  
"Huh?" Jack looked up.  
  
"Skirts, heels and pantyhose." "She got to be kidding right?" Devlin asked.  
  
"Apparently not. We'd better change I've seen my girlfriend try to put on pantyhose and it doesn't look easy."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Hi guys." Daniel entered the locker room to find fifteen very disgruntled men.  
  
"Don't you dare laugh Jackson." Ferretti warned.  
  
"Wouldn't dream of it." He said biting his lip. "Sam asked me to come and tell you not to bother with your hats, the women have all kindly donated theirs instead to complete the outfit."  
  
"Daniel do you think if we killed her on 714 anyone would find her body?" Jack asked as he tried to stand.  
  
"I don't know it would probably depend on whether Janet shot you or not. Besides which killing your 2IC would probably get you into trouble not only with the Air Force, but with Jacob and the Tok'ra, Brat'ac and his rebel Jaffa, Teal'c me, half the men on base, a few other aliens races if we mention it to them."  
  
"Get out Daniel." Jack teetered on his feet.  
  
"By the way nice legs guys."  
  
"Out."  
  
"Seriously how do women walk in these things?"  
  
"Practice? Lower centre of gravity? Counter Balance?" Offered the head of the science team.  
  
"It's now or never. Prepare to move out." Jack ordered.  
  
There was a loud wolf whistle as they made their way down the corridor. They all snapped round to see who it was. No one was there.  
  
"Security cameras" Devlin pointed out. "They're everywhere."  
  
"She's so dead." There were a few mutters under breaths.  
  
"We're just going to have to suck it up if we don't want to end up in the Brig." Jack pointed out.  
  
"It's your fault were in the mess anyway."  
  
"How do you figure that?"  
  
"You leave her holding a baby and we get those dolls, you make a crack about her shoes and we end up crossing do you see a pattern here?"  
"Gentlemen take a hat as you go." Janet instructed standing by the door to the embarkation room. Sam was making final checks to the FRED. Behind her the gate was fluttering.  
  
"General?" Sam called up to the control room.  
  
"You have a go Major." Sam nodded to two of the women who voluenteered to go with them to walk the FRED through the gate.  
  
"A few final word of advice." Sam stood in the centre of the ramp. "One take it slowly up the ramp, it's difficult until you find your balance. Secondly keep your legs together when you walk the gate otherwise things might get very cold."  
  
"Good luck gentlemen and enjoy yourself." Hammond said. Sam and Janet stood either side of the ramp and watched as the men faltered in their step slowly up the ramp and through the gate."  
  
"God are you trying you make us all sterile." Someone groaned as Sam and Janet joined them.  
  
"It's perfectly safe. Besides people go through the gate wearing a lot less." Janet stated.  
  
"In other words welcome to our lives."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
"It's getting hot." Janet whispered to Sam after an hour. They'd spent the hour teaching the men the art of staying upright and how to bend graciously without revealing their underwear.  
  
"Give me a hand." Sam took a large yellow box from the top of the FRED. "Guys, we're going to take a break for an hour as it's getting to be mid day here." A series of whoops let out. "While the ladies and I are putting up the tents you might want these." Sam opened the box. "Major Griff." Sam tossed a package towards him. "Colonel O'Neill, Major Ferretti." Soon all the parcels were distributed.  
  
"T-shirts." Jack exclaimed.  
  
"Can't do anything about the skirts guys, but its going to be too hot to hang around in the top half of your dress uniforms. One stipulation from General Hammond, you have to return as you arrived."  
  
"One other point gentlemen." Janet added. "Keep your legs together when you sit down, we don't want to see anything you'd only show your doctor or your girlfriend. Speaking as your doctor I don't want to see it either." Sam smiled.  
  
"We'll leave you to change. We'll be over in the clearing when you're done."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"So how are you doing sir?" Sam sat down next to Jack. She had rolled her combat pants up to her knees and had tied her overshirt around her waist.  
  
"You mean apart form complete embarrasment." He twiddled a blade of grass in his hands.  
  
"Think of it as a kilt sir." Sam suggested.  
  
"And the shoes?"  
  
"Maybe it will help you understand why I couldn't keep up last week."  
  
"So this is my fault?"  
  
"No sir, this wasn't your fault, it was indirectly that you gave me the idea. This also wasn't about embarrassing you, it's about making you understand the women of the SGC."  
  
"Do you want to explain what you want us to understand?"  
  
"All the women want is for you to treat as equals and to understand that we can do our jobs otherwise we wouldn't be at the SGC. We can do anything that you can do, we won't give up just because things get hard and it's not our fault that the Air Force thinks we should wear skirts and heels for our dress uniform."  
  
"That sounds like the speech you gave on your first day." Ferretti chipped in.  
  
"And I'm still waiting for the Colonel to take me up on that arm wrestle." Sam smiled and got to her feet. "If you'll excuse me I need to report into General Hammond."  
  
"Jack, it might be a good idea to get her over her need to push us to our limits."  
  
"I don't have a problem with her being a woman. She does her job, saves the world and us regularly. She just expects us to make the mental distinction between times when they want to be treated like women and times when they're soldiers."  
  
"Outside the SGC we want to be tried as women, off world unless an alien has other ideas we want to be treated as people who have a job to do regardless of sex." Janet added.  
  
"So don't treat them any differently unless someone has a problem with it?"  
  
"Treat the situation the way you would if anyone had a problem with the member of your team. There's no difference from a Goa'uld wanting to make a woman his queen than there is Hathor wanting to make you all her Jaffas." The men cringed.  
  
"Not a good idea to mention her doc?"  
  
"Why because the women saved you all from allowing a Goa'uld to take over the world."  
  
"Janet." Sam scolded as she got back. "We've got them in skirts and heels, we don't need to mention that."  
  
"Thank you Major." Jack added.  
  
"Yes sir. General Hammond asked me to remind you that you are all officers in the United States Air Force and Marine Corps."  
  
"Anything else to go with that Carter?"  
  
"No sir. Janet, time for the medical bit." Jack cringed.  
  
"Don't worry Colonel I'm saving the needles for when we get back and I can have the SF's restrain you if you try to run away. This tent it protecting us from the heat but we still have some training to do outside. As we don't want you to get sunstroke or have to explain where you got sunburn when it's raining back on Earth, we brought you all a supply of sun block and hats. Remember to do the backs of your legs. And keep up your fluid in take."  
  
"Yes Mom." Someone muttered under their breath.  
  
"Thank you for that comment Major we'll be outside. Join us when you're ready." Sam said.  
  
"So did the General get approval?"  
  
"Yes, Saturday. Everyone is invited." Sam replied.  
  
"So are we going to tell them?"  
  
"Not specifically, General Hammond is going to order them to turn up, with wives and girlfriends etc. It should be fun and stop me feeling guilty."  
  
"And what would you be feeling guilty about Carter?"  
  
"Forgetting to water the pot plant I gave you." Sam quickly countered.  
  
"Since when did you start watering my pot plants?"  
  
"Since you never do and I don't want it to die." It wasn't a lie she did water the plant once a week.  
  
"Didn't know killing plants was on your resume Jack." Ferretti patted him on the back.  
  
"Don't you remember the time Carter nearly killed those people on P- whatever by crashing the UAV into their plant?"  
  
"I did fix it sir."  
  
"Only because you talk to your plants."  
  
"They listen and don't make smart alec remarks sir."  
  
"She has you there Jack." Ferretti added.  
  
"So sir, are you up for learning to run in heels?" Janet asked.  
  
"No, but I take I'm going to learn."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Welcome back." Hammond greeted them. "General permission to go and change before we're all crippled?" Jack asked. "Of course. Report to the infirmary when you're are changed." "Thank you sir." Jack lead the team leaders out. "I take it was a productive exercise Major." "Yes sir, I think they learned a lot. How are the plans coming for Phase 3?" "All the basic details are covered and the information is sitting on my desk. I take it you'd like to inform them of the plans."  
  
"General I was thinking more along the lines of you ordering them to be there in dress uniform and guests where applicable. The rest of the base can follow the same orders, only you, me and Dr Fraiser need know the truth."  
  
"I think that can be arranged Major. I've set up the screen in the main storage room on Level 18. I'll lock the tape in the safe when you've completed your reports."  
  
"Thank you sir. If I start in an hour I should have basic notes done tonight and have the report complete by the end of the day tomorrow."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Excuse me gentlemen." Sam called out to the men sitting in the infirmary. When they didn't quieten down she let out a loud whistle.  
  
"Carter, were back on Earth, which means I'm back in charge. So keep the noise down." Jack warned.  
  
"Sorry sir, I just wanted to inform you that I had to review the tape in order to complete my report and if any of you wished to watch it with me your welcome. I also wanted to point out that only people who actually went on today's mission will see the tape after which it will be placed in General Hammond's safe."  
  
"You made your point. Now we need to figure out a way to get you back so leave us to it."  
  
"I'll be in the storage room on level 18. If you'll excuse me sirs."  
  
TBC 


	3. Phase Three

Sam waited until all the men had joined her. She'd known they would however much Jack had protested.  
  
The SF's had been ordered only to allow the SG team leaders, General Hammond, Dr Fraiser or herself into the room. As she started the tape she took notes on behaviour, attitude and enthusiasm. There were a few laughs as they stumbled around and as a few of them flashed their underwear.  
  
"So Mom how are school reports going to read?" Jack asked as the video ended.  
  
"I'd say you all passed sir. You were incredibly good sports. But before you all go General Hammond wants to talk to you all."  
  
Hammond ordered them all to appear at the largest hotel in Colorado Springs at 1900 on Saturday, they would be able to bring wives and current girlfriends who understood that they would work erratic hours. There had been a few questions as to why, which had only been answered with a reminder to wear their dress uniforms.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Colonel." Sam stood in Jack's office doorway.  
  
"Come in Carter, what can I do for you?"  
  
"I was just heading out for a few hours I wonder if there was anything you needed me to do before I left."  
  
"Tell me what's going on Saturday night."  
  
"What and spoil all the fun? I don't think so sir."  
  
"You're not going to show that video are you?"  
  
"Of course not sir. Firstly that would be embarrassing, secondly it was a military training exercise and thirdly the exercise was off world so therefore it was highly classified."  
  
"Good. I'll see you later."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"Turn around." Janet instructed. "Slowly. I like it."  
  
"You don't think it's too." Sam couldn't find the word.  
  
"Revealing, sexy, gorgeous?" Janet offered.  
  
"All of the above." Janet smiled.  
  
"No. I think it's perfect and just the right shade of blue."  
  
"I don't know if I have the courage." Sam stated.  
  
"You got fifteen guys in skirts and heels and survived to tell the tale, I think wearing a dress on Saturday night might be slightly easier."  
  
"But you forget I had General Hammond backing me up and threatening to throw them in the Brig if they didn't do what I told them." Sam pointed out.  
  
"Well we've taught them how to be good officers, why not how to be gentlemen? Besides one look at you in that dress and you'll be forgiven."  
  
"I thought the whole point of this training program was to teach them to see us as equals and not to think of us as women?"  
  
"Honey, that's at work, outside the base I'd be upset if they didn't. Besides which what do you think of that red dress?"  
  
"I think Daniel likes red." Sam said hiding a smile.  
  
"And just what do you mean by that Major?" Janet asked.  
  
"Come on you would have killed to see him in a skirt, Teal'c too?"  
  
"Sam, the amount of time Daniel spends in the infirmary I get to see his legs enough as well as ever other part of him."  
  
"I think I became the wrong sort of doctor."  
  
"What and miss out on long hours we three gorgeous men. I don't think so. Beside which you like your job way too much."  
  
"It does have some perks."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
"So where's Carter?" Jack asked as they had all gathered in the ballroom of the hotel. "I take it she's behind all this."  
  
"She might have had a slight influence. She'll be here soon sir, she had a few last minute things to do."  
  
"But she is coming since she got us all into this?"  
  
"Yes sir. It looks like the General is going to give a speech." She pointed out.  
  
"If I may have your attention for a few minutes." General Hammond said standing by the microphone. "I would just like to say we've had a difficult year but everyone has worked hard and it has been a pleasure and an honour to serve with all of you." There was a round of applause. "Before I finish I have a note from the President he would like me to read out." He paused. "I serve as President in a great age, we have the ability to look farther beyond our own lives and to search for the answers from beyond our planet. The men and women of this command are an asset to the United States Military and I wish to congratulate you all on your sterling work over the past few years." He paused again. "Now Major Samantha Carter would like to say a few words. Major."  
  
Sam stepped onto the stage. There were a few wolf whistles from the crowd, but they were shot down by a look from the General.  
  
"Thank you General. For those of you who don't know in the past few months I have been placed in charge of a special training program within the facility. This has involved asking people to go above and beyond the call of duty. They have worked hard with very little complaint." A few people looked at Jack, who shrugged. ". and accept the task of what was presented to them. A special round of applause should go out to a group of men who know who they are, who in the past week did exactly what was asked of them under difficult circumstances with grace and dignity." The staff the SGC knew what she was talking let out a loud whoop. "And just to inform you this is phase three, you had a chance to prove your worth as officers, now you can prove that you are gentlemen. Thank you."  
  
One of the SF's helped her step down from the stage as the music started to play.  
  
"Nice speech Sam." Janet said as she joined them.  
  
"It was the best I could come up without have to reveal information which means I had to kill everyone." She remarked.  
  
"By the way Sam you look beautiful." Daniel commented.  
  
"I must agree Major Carter." Teal'c bowed his head.  
  
"Yeah nice dress Carter." Jack paused. "So how did you talk Hammond into this shebang?"  
  
"Guilt is a terrible thing sir, beside which as the General says we all have had a difficult year we needed to kick back for a few hours and besides which I needed a new dress."  
  
"Sam, I know I'm not exactly an officer and I'd have to question the gentleman part too but would you do me the honour of dancing with me?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Of course, I'd like that." She shot Janet a sympathetic glance. Janet nodded.  
  
"Since when has Danny boy been able to dance?" Jack asked.  
  
"For a while by the looks of it." Janet muttered.  
  
"Doctor Fraiser do you wish to dance with me?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"Sure. Sir, can you hold my drink?" Janet asked and handed Jack her glass.  
  
"So Jack, what do you think of the evening so far?" Hammond asked him.  
  
"It seems like a good way to kick off steam sir."  
  
"Major Carter has been busy. Organising this in less than a week and the training exercise."  
  
"She always was resourceful. Analysis of Deep Space Radar Telemetry can be very stressful, but Carter always manages to find the time." He continued with the cover story as they were intermingled with civilians.  
  
"She's a remarkable woman. Strong brave and intelligent."  
  
"Yes sir." Jack was trying to figure out where the conversation was going.  
  
"Jacob is very proud of her."  
  
"He has every reason to be. She's very good at her job." He took a sip of her beer.  
  
"I don't think you get my point son."  
  
"Which would be sir?" Jack asked.  
  
"Just ask her to dance."  
  
"Yes sir." General Hammond left him alone and went to talk to some other people.  
  
"You look slightly confused there Jack." Ferretti said coming up to him.  
  
"Yeah I am. Does the General ever say anything that confuses you?"  
  
"Not usually. Though Sam that's another matter. What did he say?"  
  
"He kept on about Sam's talents then told me to ask her to do dance?" Ferretti laughed.  
  
"If you can't figure that one out for yourself Jack then you're worse a pretending to be dumb then we all thought. I'll see you later." He slapped him on the shoulder and walked passed him.  
  
"I'm sure I didn't just give you a mission report sir, what's with the confused face sir?" Sam asked a few minutes later.  
  
"Sorry Carter just thinking."  
  
"About anything specific or just in general terms?" "Just wondering if you planned anymore phases to this little training scheme of yours." "I could be tempted depends on whether we need them. I wanted to talk to you, do you think we could go out in the hall way?"  
  
"What had enough of dancing with Daniel?"  
  
"He's dancing with Janet. Teal'c's off talking to someone and there's something I need to say to you."  
  
"Let's go." He put the drinks he was holding on the table. "So?" He said when they were alone.  
  
"I wanted to apologise to you personally."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Everything, when you asked me what I felt guilty about last week I lied, I didn't remember to water your plant, but that wasn't why I was feeling guilty."  
  
"Everything encompasses a lot, and I knew you were lying about the plant, which for your information I do remember to water occasionally."  
  
"Yes sir. What I was meaning to say was I wanted to apologise for the training exercises and putting you through that embarrassment, it wasn't my intention you're a good CO and you are good with the women of the base you just managed to catch me on bad days. I'm sorry sir, this party is my way of making up for it."  
  
"That's a lot of babbling about something non-scientific Carter. Look you're forgiven as long as you go and find me a beer."  
  
"Yes sir. Thank you." Sam smiled and headed off in search of a beer.  
"Is everything alright Colonel?" Major Paul Davis asked.  
  
"Yeah. I think so, Carter was just apologising for embarrassing a few of us." He wasn't quite sure what Davis knew.  
  
"The training exercises, from what I heard it was an interesting experience sir."  
  
"And what exactly did you hear?" Jack asked as they entered the ballroom.  
  
"Someone thought the Pentagon should know what was going on and they showed me the security camera footage."  
  
"That was supposed to be classified." Jack mumbled.  
  
"Sorry sir, but that was only Major Carter's tape. The footage of the hallways is a different matter sir. If you'll excuse me."  
  
"Here's your beer sir." Sam handed him a bottle of beer.  
  
"Carter, about the security cameras."  
  
"I can't do anything about those sir. I did try."  
  
"Sorry to interrupt sir, ma'am." Sgt Siler interrupted. "Major, did you want to dance?"  
  
"I'd like Sgt, if you'll excuse me sir." Sam left with Siler.  
  
"So Jack enjoying the party so far?" Daniel asked.  
  
"You'd think a party wouldn't confuse the hell out of me." He downed his beer.  
  
"What happened now?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Hammond's acting weird, Ferretti thinks I'm playing dumb and Carter's apologising."  
  
"Let me guess Sam apologised for embarrassing you and General Hammond told you to ask her to dance and Ferretti thought you were dumb for not figuring out why. Sound about right?"  
  
"Yes. How'd you guess?"  
  
"Sam idea was to apologise to everyone and to have fun. But it was also about teaching you to be gentlemen as well as airforce officers. Gentlemen ask women they're in love to dance especially when they're in beautiful dresses."  
  
"I'm not in love with her."  
  
"Yeah tell that to someone who doesn't work with you everyday. Now I promised Janet I'd dance with her some more." Daniel walked off leaving Jack agasp.  
A/N: There will be a phase 4 when I think of one because Jack definitely needs a lesson in love. 


	4. Phase Four A

A/N: Sorry this took so long but I destroyed the motherboard of my laptop and lost the part of this chapter I had written. So with my new laptop I've finally re-written this chapter. I hope you enjoy  
  
"So sir do you want to dance?" Sam asked, she'd already danced with all the other leaders of the SG teams who had almost forgiven her and weren't planning on killing her anytime soon. "You don't have to sir."  
  
"No come on lets dance."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Thanks for the dance sir. I'd better go now; I have to be at the base early tomorrow to run some tests on a piece of equipment."  
  
"It's the weekend Carter take some time off. Do it next week."  
  
"I can't sir, it has to be shipped out while we're away on Tuesday and I need to get the tests done before then, I haven't had time this last week what with organising this party and the other work that's piled up on my desk. I should have it done by the time we ship out Monday afternoon."  
  
"Don't work to hard, that's an order Major."  
  
"Yes sir and have a nice weekend."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Good evening General Hammond. Enjoying the party?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Yes son. You?"  
  
"Yes sir. Do you have a minute there is something I would like to discuss with you?"  
  
"Of course son. What can I do for you?"  
  
"General, would you be open to a more person specific phase four of this training scheme?"  
  
"Colonel O'Neill?" Daniel nodded. "Have you discussed this with Major Carter?"  
  
"No, but this idea actually would work better if Sam didn't know as she is involved."  
  
"I can I take it from that this pertains to events to do with a specific regulation?"  
  
"You can General." Daniel replied grateful that General Hammond had gotten the idea of his plan without him explaining it.  
  
"I have no problem with it as long as it doesn't change their working relationship on base or at other work locations, what they do off base doesn't concern me."  
  
"So I have your permission sir?"  
  
"Yes son." Hammond confirmed.  
  
"Do I also have your permission to have Janet and Teal'c's assistance?"  
  
"You can have the assistance of any member of the base personnel as long as it doesn't interfere with the running of the base."  
  
"Thank you General."  
  
"Good luck son."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Come over tomorrow morning and bring Cassie she may have some ideas that we wouldn't think off." Daniel had already explain the basics to Janet and Teal'c.  
  
"I'll even bring breakfast."  
  
"Bring breakfast where?" Jack asked as he joined them.  
  
"I was just promising to bring Daniel breakfast next time he's in the infirmary; the nurse who usually does it spends so much time flirting with him that it gets cold." Janet covered.  
  
"Which nurse the blonde one?" Jack asked.  
  
"Where's Sam?" Daniel asked changing the subject.  
  
"She left she's got to go to the base tomorrow to do some tests. I thought she would have come over and said goodbye."  
  
"She did, you were in the bathroom Daniel, she said to say goodbye I forgot I'm sorry."  
  
"While I've got you here Janet do you think Cassie would want to come to a ice hockey game with me next weekend."  
  
"She'd probably be more interested if the men didn't have to wear so many clothes, she'd probably say yes to a basketball game."  
  
"Cassie hit the boy stage?" Janet nodded. "If you need any help seeing off in appropriate boys let me know."  
  
"I will sir, with you, Daniel and Teal'c we should be okay. So why did you want to take her to a hockey game?" Janet asked.  
  
"I've got two tickets for a game. Daniel doesn't like hockey, Teal'c doesn't understand it, Carter will probably working all weekend like usual, Hammond has his granddaughters for the weekend so I thought Cassie might like to come." Jack explained.  
  
"Did you ask her?" Janet asked.  
  
"I thought I'd ask you first." Jack stated.  
  
"Not Cassie, Sam. She likes hockey, she kind of has to with you as her CO, she might not be busy next weekend."  
  
"This is Carter were talking about. Getting her to leave the base for the weekend is like trying to move an iceberg single handily."  
  
"You should ask her anyway, she might like to go and it would definitely make my job easier if she left the base more often and relaxed for a bit."  
  
"I'll think about. So does anyone want another drink?"  
  
"We'd better not. Teal'c is going to drive us both home, do you want a ride?" Daniel offered.  
  
"No I think I'll stay here for a while."  
  
"Okay, enjoy the rest of the weekend Jack."  
  
"You too."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"This is so cool, planning to get Jack and Sam together." Cassie said as she skipped through the door Daniel held open for her.  
  
"You understand that were only going to give them a push in the right direction right Cass?"  
  
"Yeah, but were are definitely going to get them together right?"  
  
"I hope so, where is your Mom?" He asked.  
  
"She's coming."  
  
"She's here." Janet corrected as she reached the top of the stairs. "And I brought breakfast."  
  
"Come through and put it on the table, Teal'c should be here soon."  
  
"So have you had any ideas yet?" Janet asked as she handed his a cup of coffee.  
  
"Nothing specific, but telling him to ask Sam to a hockey game was a good start. General Hammond says we can get the help any of the SGC personnel as long as it doesn't interfere with the running of the base."  
  
"Have you tried Ferretti he's known Jack a long time?" Cassie suggested.  
  
"She has a point, field tacticians like Ferretti, have a good idea of coming up with wacky solutions which Sam would usually think of."  
  
"I'll call him and see if he's busy. Make yourself at home."  
  
"Have you seen all Daniel's call stuff?" Cassie asked as she picked up one of the statues Daniel placed on a bookshelf.  
  
"Put it back Cass, I don't want you to break anything, some of this stuff is really old and irreplaceable." Cassie put the statue back. "So do you have any ideas about getting Jack and Sam together?" She asked as Cassie joined her at the table.  
  
"A few. I'll get it it's probably Teal'c." Cassie said getting and rushing to the door. "Teal'c!!" Cassie exclaimed.  
  
"Greetings Cassandra Fraiser."  
  
"Come in Daniel is just inviting Ferretti over to help." Teal'c bowed his head and entered Daniel's apartment.  
  
"Doctor Fraiser." Teal'c bowed his head again.  
  
"Good morning Teal'c."  
  
"Ferretti will be here in thirty minutes." Daniel said as he returned. "Morning Teal'c."  
  
"Good morning Daniel Jackson."  
  
"Why don't we eat while we wait for Ferretti to get here? Then we'll start the first official Phase four planning meeting."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Can't we just keep throwing them together?" Ferretti suggested.  
  
"In what kind of context?" Janet asked.  
  
"I don't know, you said Hammond didn't want it to interrupt the running of the base. So we get them doing base type activities. Annual physicals together, ask them both to run tests or do reports or something together, lock them in a storage room together. When you're off world let them pair off."  
  
"It could work, proximity is good at bringing out emotions." Janet agreed.  
  
"Guys, we've been in some pretty tight situations and we haven't got them to admit anything."  
  
"That's because they were in battle, in soldier mode, this is something more casual."  
  
"Daniel, when's General Hammond's birthday?" Cassie asked.  
  
"Three weeks. Why?"  
  
"I have an idea, but I can't tell you. But it will definitely get Sam and Jack to spend more time together."  
  
"And it has something to do with General's birthday?" Janet questioned.  
  
"Yep." Cassie smiled.  
  
"So at the moment, we've got trying to convince Jack to take Sam to a hockey game, work things that keep them in close proximity to each other and whatever Cassie is planning." Janet clarified. "No offence guys but I think it's going to take more than that."  
  
"It's the best we can come up with short of stranding them on a planet together." Daniel mumbled.  
  
"You know that might just work." Janet commented.  
  
"What?" Ferretti asked.  
  
"Leaving them off world together. We could probably convince General Hammond to send Daniel on a mission with another SG-team, Teal'c could go and visit Rya'c, we could send them on a simple mineral survey to a safe world over night, If it's just them they'll have to stay close together."  
  
"It's an idea."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"So Cass are you going to tell me your plan?" Janet asked as she opened the front door to her house.  
  
"I'll probably need to come to the base to see them sometime this week though."  
  
"They're going off world tomorrow afternoon until Wednesday."  
  
"Can I call Sam at the base?"  
  
"Sure, but she might be busy." Janet called as she put on the kettle to make coffee.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
RING RING.  
  
"Carter." Sam said snatching up the phone.  
  
"Sam, it's me Cassie."  
  
"Hi Cass, are you having a nice weekend?" Sam said grateful for the break.  
  
"Yeah. Sam are you busy tonight?"  
  
"I've got a few more tests to run but I should be finished by 1900. Why?" Sam asked intrigued.  
  
"There is something I need to talk to you and Jack about. Do you think you could pick me up and drive me to Jack's house so I can talk to you with out Mom listening in?"  
  
"Have you cleared this with Colonel O'Neill he might not want us interrupting his weekend?"  
  
"I'll call him, but he usually isn't busy, he just mows his lawn and watches replays of hockey matches or the Simpson's."  
  
"I'll come over as soon as I'm done here, if it's okay with the Colonel we'll go to his house, if not well go to my place and you can talk to him later."  
  
"Thanks Sam. I'll see you later."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
RING RING  
  
"O'Neill."  
  
"Hi Jack it's Cassie."  
  
"Hi Cass. How is school?"  
  
"School's going great. But I called to ask you something."  
  
"How can I help?"  
  
"Would you mind Sam and I coming over tonight there's something I want to talk to you about without Mom finding out?"  
  
"Cass I think Carter's planning on working most of the day, I don't know what time she'll finish."  
  
"I called her she'll be finished by seven is it okay if we come over?"  
  
"Sure. Don't bother getting dinner I'll order pizza."  
  
"Thanks Jack, I'll see you later." 


	5. Phase Four B

"Hey Cass, Carter." Jack said as they got out of the car, he'd been looking out the window for twenty minutes waiting for them to arrive but he didn't want them to know that.  
  
"Sir." Sam replied.  
  
"Hey Jack. Have you ordered the pizza yet I'm starving?" A confused look came over Sam's face.  
  
"She didn't tell you I was planning on feeding you did she?"  
  
"No sir."  
  
"I thought I'd wait until you got here as I thought Carter would probably end up working longer than she said and I didn't want it to get cold." He said turning to Cassie. "Besides which I didn't know what you wanted on it. Why don't you go and call them? The menu is by the phone."  
  
"Okay." Cassie skipped off leaving Jack and Sam alone.  
  
"Did she tell you what this was about?" Jack asked.  
  
"No sir, she just said she needed to speak to us without Janet listening in."  
  
"That's what she told me too." Jack confirmed. "She's definitely learned the military idea of revealing as little as possible until absolutely necessary."  
  
"You taught her well sir." Sam shot him a gleaming smile. "I have to get her home by ten."  
  
"Well you'd better come in." Jack let Sam walk up the steps in front of him.  
  
"It'll be twenty minutes." Cassie said as she hung up the phone.  
  
"What did you get?"  
  
"A large four toppings pizza. It has different toppings on each quarter I thought we could all pick the one we liked best."  
  
"What ever you want kid. Do you want a soda while we wait?" Jack offered.  
  
"Yes please."  
  
"Carter?"  
  
"Yes, thank you sir."  
  
"Sam can't you call him Jack, your not at work now." Cassie asked.  
  
"I've tried that one." Jack said before Sam could reply, "It takes her about two minutes before she reverts back to calling me sir or Colonel."  
  
"It's a sign of respect of his rank Cass."  
  
"But Mom calls him Jack when they're off duty." Cassie pointed out. Jack hid a smile as Cassie out foxed her.  
  
"Yes well Janet has seen a lot more of the Colonel than most people on the base and she did stick her hand inside his stomach, she probably needs to distinguish in her head when she needs to be Dr Fraiser instead of just Janet." Sam countered.  
  
"I still think it's stupid."  
  
"That's life kiddo. Tell you what I'll call him something other than sir or Colonel if you can convince Teal'c he can call me Sam when were not at the base instead of calling me Major Carter all the time."  
  
"That'll be easy, I'll just lend him by Buffy videos."  
  
"Bribing Teal'c with sci-fi I don't Carter but we should have thought of this one sooner."  
  
"I did, where do you think he got the first series of Enterprise from?"  
  
"What did you need to bribe him for?"  
  
"That would be telling sir. So Cass what did you want to talk to us about?" Sam said changing the subject.  
  
"It's General Hammond's birthday in three weeks time and I think we should throw him a surprise birthday party."  
  
"It a nice idea Cass but why didn't you want Janet to know?" Sam asked.  
  
"Because I need you to do a little reconnaissance for me and I need your help setting the party up the less people who know about it the less chance of Uncle George finding out."  
  
"What kind of reconnaissance?" Jack asked.  
  
"We need to find out what type of cake he likes what type of party he'd like. I can make the invitations on my computer but I need you to help me make a list of people to invite because I don't know everyone on the base and there are probably some people at the Academy he'd like to invite but if we have it at the base we can only invite people who have security clearance. You both know all this stuff. Besides you both good at keeping secrets."  
  
"It's what we get paid for Cass."  
  
"But Sam doesn't do it for the pay; she does it because she gets to play with all those cool gizmos and gets to make cool discoveries."  
  
"She also a workaholic, she doesn't ever take vacations, she works through all the time we have off, she never leaves the base at a decent hour and she usually lives off coffee like Daniel." Jack added.  
  
"She's also standing right here." Sam added.  
  
"Sorry Carter but you know we're right."  
  
"I like my job, it's not a crime sir."  
  
"Never said it was, but it is a problem when you work too hard we don't want working so hard you make yourself sick, I need you around to help save the world occasionally."  
  
"I'm sorry Cass, I've just remember I've got to call my brother tonight, I have to go."  
  
"Come on Sam can't you just stay until the pizza gets here."  
  
"I'm sorry Cassie but I need to call him before his kids go to bed, they get cranky when the phone wakes them up."  
  
"How am I going to get home?"  
  
"I'll take you after we've eaten."  
  
"Goodnight sir." Sam said in the politest tone she could manage.  
  
"Night Carter, I'll see at the briefing tomorrow."  
  
"Yes sir." With that Sam let herself out of the door.  
  
"What was all that about?" Jack asked Cassie as they heard Sam's car drive away.  
  
"I could tell you but if you think about it you'll figure it out yourself."  
  
"All I said was she works too hard."  
  
"You really don't understand women do you Jack? No wonder you haven't got a girlfriend."  
  
"When do I have time for a girlfriend? I work erratic hours, I'm gone for days a time and I end in the infirmary with your mother stabbing me with needles for injuries I could never explain gaining when I'm supposed to work in deep space radar telemetry whatever that is."  
  
"You could always date some at the base they'd understand your hours and why you injured."  
  
"Cass pretty much all the women who work at the base are military and none of them of a similar rank or besides which as 2IC of the base they are all pretty much under my command. So nothing could happen anyway with any them with out breaking several regulations."  
  
"Come on there must be someone at the base you like? I'm good at keeping secrets too, like the fact I was born in Toronto." She winked at him. "Come on you can tell me."  
  
"Cass, you're not trying to set me up with Janet are you because."  
  
"Mom." Cassie said with a chuckle. "No, Mom likes Daniel always has done, she gets worried every time he goes off world."  
  
"The Doc and Danny, hey why not?"  
  
"Don't say anything to Daniel though he doesn't know. Mom's working up to telling him."  
  
"So another secret. So are you going to tell me what's wrong with Carter?"  
  
"No. You're going to get the door the pizzas here."  
  
"How do you know that?" He asked as the doorbell rang. Cassie gave him 'you need to ask' look. Jack opened the door and paid the pizza guy. "So about Carter?" He said as they sat eating the pizza.  
  
"Jack, come on your not as dumb as you make out. By the way if you want her to start calling you Jack maybe you shouldn't call her 'Carter' all the time."  
  
"I'll try to remember that. If you're not going to help me out how you tell me your ideas for this party."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"How did it go?" Janet asked as soon as Jack had left from dropping Cassie home.  
  
"Not well. Sam left abruptly and Jack can't figure out why."  
  
"Why did she leave?" Janet asked knowing Sam was not one to leave abruptly.  
  
"Because he stupidly called her a workaholic and said the only reason he need her around was to save the world."  
  
"Ouch, no wonder Sam left. I'd better call her later and let her vent."  
  
"I also found out that the only reason Jack doesn't have a girlfriend is because of the hours he works and being unable to explain being injured all the time when he's suppose to analysis radar telemetry."  
  
"Really. What else did he say?"  
  
"That he couldn't date anyone on the base because it would break regulations, then he asked if I was trying to set him up with you. Which I assured him I wasn't." She quickly added.  
  
"But he doesn't suspect what's really going on does he?" Janet asked.  
  
"No. He was more concerned with figuring out why Sam left."  
  
"Well it's time for bed for you young lady, you have school in the morning."  
  
"Okay, night Mom." Cassie kissed Janet's cheek before heading up the stairs to bed.  
  
Janet picked up the phone and dialled Sam's number.  
  
"Carter." Sam said as she picked.  
  
"Hey Sam it's me. Cassie just told me what happened are you okay?"  
  
"Nothing happened Janet I just left. I've been up since five this morning I have be at the base tomorrow early because we're going on a mission tomorrow afternoon. I need to go to bed."  
  
"And you're leaving had nothing to do with Jack being an idiot?" Janet asked.  
  
"He's always an idiot, he just happens to be my boss and this is nothing I can punish him for by inventing another phase in the training scheme. There is nothing in the world that can kill the idiot gene."  
  
"It wouldn't annoy you so much if he wasn't your friend."  
  
"Yeah well lines blur when you're in deadly situations but sometimes you need to re-establish certain boundaries."  
  
"Sam you don't mean that. SG-1 is one of the closest teams I've ever seen in my life you all work so well together because you are all friends and you know that you'll all move heaven and earth to help each." Janet stated.  
  
"With Daniel and Teal'c it's different, they're like my brother's, Daniel and I have petty squabbles but I know he'll be there when I need him. Colonel O'Neill on the other hand, is my CO and the military has problems with people being this close. I thing we need to establish those CO and 2IC boundaries again. I've got to get to bed, it's getting late."  
  
"Okay, I'll see you in the morning."  
  
"Goodnight." With that Sam hung up.  
  
Janet quickly dialled Daniel's number.  
  
"Hello." He muttered sleepily.  
  
"We have a problem."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Hey Jack what did you do to Sam?" Ferretti asked as he joined Jack at a table in the commissary.  
  
"If I knew I'd tell you. Why?"  
  
"I'm telling you if looks could kill there would be a trail of dead men around the corridors of the SGC. You didn't give her an idea for more torture did you?"  
  
"I couldn't tell you one minute we were having a conversation about her working to hard, the next she was walking out and Cassie wouldn't tell me what I said to upset her."  
  
"Well you don't have to worry Jack." Daniel said as he sat with them. "She's going to go back to being the perfect soldier, you say jump she ask how high."  
  
"What did she say to you?" Jack asked.  
  
"I haven't seen her yet, Janet called after she talked to her last night. She said she was tired of the blurring military lines with friendship that she was going to do her job and that's it."  
  
"What the hell did you say to her? I mean Sam is the only one I know who can keep with you and put up with you and your sarcastic sense of humour." Ferretti asked.  
  
"All I said was that she worked to hard, didn't take enough vacations and that I didn't want her to get sick because I needed her around to save the world."  
  
"That's it?" Ferretti asked.  
  
"Yeah." Jack confirmed.  
  
"I know why she's mad at you. I'd probably be too. Daniel can you convince her that it's not the rest the bases fault that she has Jack for a CO?"  
  
"I'll try but I don't know how receptive she'll be. I mean the first two phases were basically Jack's fault. Besides which she's got the Carter stubborn streak. According to Jacob once she sets her mind on something it's pretty difficult to change it."  
  
"Did someone want to tell me what I did wrong?" Jack butted in.  
  
"I think you need to figure this one out yourself and do it quickly Jack for everyone's sake."  
  
"Guys what is wrong with telling her we need her to save the world? She does it every time we endanger it."  
  
"Jack, we'd better go we've a briefing in twenty minutes."  
  
"You're taking her off world." Ferretti exclaimed. "You'd better watch your back Jack otherwise she's liable to shoot you."  
  
"She wouldn't shoot me too much effort with the paperwork."  
  
"I wouldn't count on that." Ferretti muttered before winking at Daniel. They're hastily agreed upon plan was working. Jack was becoming paranoid about why Sam was mad at him and that would drive him crazy until he figured out why and went to apologise.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Major Carter, you said you had some concerns about this mission?" Hammond said as they sat in the mission briefing.  
  
"Yes sir, I ran more in depth tests on the data from the initial MALP and on the one we sent this morning, I have some concerns about the breathablitity of the atmosphere, I'd recommend we put the mission on hold for 24 hours while I can check the results and possibly send a UAV for longer range testing and to get some more air sample data."  
  
"Is that absolutely necessary?"  
  
"I think so sir, I've talked to Doctor Fraiser about this and she isn't happy about the oxygen levels. She'd like more details before she can determine whether it would be good for us to go physically, she doesn't want to have another situation like the one where Daniel shifted out of phase."  
  
"She thinks the atmosphere will shift us out of phase?" Daniel questioned.  
  
"No, while you were out of phase the radiation made Colonel O'Neill, myself and Teal'c to some extent sick. She doesn't want it to happen again."  
  
"You've convinced me, this mission is put on hold for review in twenty fours while Major Carter performs the necessary tests."  
  
"Thank you sir."  
  
"Colonel I suggest you use this extra time to finish your backlog of reports that are overdue."  
  
"Yes sir." Jack said reluctantly.  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
"Hey Carter wait up." Jack called as Sam made her way down to the control room.  
  
"Did you need something sir?" She asked in a respectful tone.  
  
"Yeah, I wanted to know why you left last night?"  
  
"Colonel, I have a job to do, so could we restrict our conversations to subjects connected to that."  
  
"Sam."  
  
"Colonel, if there wasn't anything else, I need to run some tests." She turned and continued down the stairs.  
  
"Ouch." Siler muttered.  
  
"What was that Sgt?"  
  
"Nothing sir. Sorry sir I need to go and help Major Carter."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Doc, you here?" Jack said as he entered the infirmary.  
  
"Colonel, was there something I could help you with?" Janet said as she walked in carry a clipboard.  
  
"Can you tell me what I did to piss Carter off?"  
  
"I don't think it would be my place to interfere Colonel."  
  
"Doc do I have to order you to tell me?"  
  
"Maybe we should talk in my office." She let him lead the way. "Permission to speak freely sir."  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"From what Cassie and Sam told me, it seems the main problem stems from you say you needed her around to save the world."  
  
"What's wrong with that? It's what she does best thinking up insane solutions to problems no one else can think of."  
  
"Sir, it's kind of like saying the only reason we keep you here is so you can get shot and not me."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"In simple terms, you made it sound like saving the world was the only thing she does around here and the only reason she's here."  
  
"It's not the only reasons she's here."  
  
"I know that, you know that, but the way you put it that's how it sounded to Sam. That's why she's pissed at you. She don't think you appreciate all the other work she does here. Sam is one of the hardest working people here, she is not only on a field team, she's the head scientist and has to run her lab, she's in charge of the training scheme, she's in charge of maintaining the gate and updating the computer software, she has to keep track your paperwork as well as her own, this and a whole lot more and she has to do this while being a women in the Air Force."  
  
"When you put it like that this place would have a hard time running this place without her."  
  
"You're supposed to be here friend as well as her CO, so when you don't appreciate her of course she's going to react."  
  
"So how do I fix it?"  
  
"That's for you to figure out sir. Now I really have to get back to the infirmary."  
  
"Go and thanks Janet."  
  
~~~~  
  
A/N: Any suggestions on how he fixes the situation are welcome 


	6. Phase Four C

"Teal'c my man just who I was looking for." Jack said as he saw him coming out of his room.  
  
"How may I assist you O'Neill?"  
  
"Do you know anything about apologising to women? Or spying on Generals?"  
  
"To which women or General are you referring?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"Can we take this inside?"  
  
"As you wish." He bowed his head and opened the door and closed it when they both entered.  
  
"The women is Major Carter and the General is Hammond."  
  
"Why would you wish to spy on General Hammond?" Teal'c asked logically.  
  
"I need to know what type of cake he likes."  
  
"Would it not be wise to ask the people who work in the commissary which cake he has a preference to?"  
  
"Never thought of that, good idea Teal'c. Any ideas on apologising to Carter?"  
  
"For what are you apologising O'Neill?"  
  
"For be me and not appreciating all the work she does here." He picked something up and began fiddling with it.  
  
"On this planet is it not the military policy to reward people with medals?"  
  
"But how does that wor. You just gave me an idea thanks Teal'c."  
  
"You're welcome O'Neill"  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Come in Colonel," Hammond said as he saw Jack waiting in his doorway. "How's the paperwork going?"  
  
"Its all complete, I have something else I would like to discuss with you and it may involve a call to the President."  
  
"You'd better sit down then Jack. What is it you'd like to discuss?"  
  
"General, it's about Major Carter." He handed him a report.  
  
"What's this?" Hammond said looking at the neatly type folder.  
  
"Evidence sir. It's all collated and in chronological order."  
  
"Jack are you feeling okay?" Hammond asked, usually getting Jack to do any paperwork was a miracle but to actually have a folder which was organised and comprehensive report on something that wasn't assigned to him was a miracle.  
  
"I'm fine sir, if you'd read the last page you'd see my recommendation." Hammond turned to the last page of the folder and read the recommendation.  
  
"You'd like me to recommend to the President that we create a new medal specifically for the SGC."  
  
"Yes sir, they have created new medals for all the major battles, Desert Storm, Vietnam and I'd like recommend a set specifically for the SGC personnel as we are a front line base."  
  
"I see, maybe you'd like to explain this." Hammond was interrupted by a knock on the door, "Come." He closed the folder in front of him.  
  
"Sorry, General am I interrupting?" Sam asked.  
  
"It's nothing important Major, what have you found?" Hammond asked.  
  
"General, the tests show the atmosphere is slowly becoming more toxic as time goes by, I'd recommend that the mission be scrubbed completely."  
  
"Are you certain?"  
  
"Yes, sir, I can show you the test results. I'll write an official report General but at this time that would be my recommendation."  
  
"Inform Teal'c and Dr Jackson that SG-1 are on stand down until your next mission on Monday."  
  
"Yes sir. With your permission I'll go and complete that report for you sir."  
  
"Dismissed Major."  
  
"General, Colonel." With that Sam left and closed the door.  
  
"Now back to this recommendation."  
  
"General, I think this a necessary measure and should be recommended to the President."  
  
"Before Major Carter interrupted us I was going to say maybe you should recommend this to the President yourself, you still have an open invitation to the White House and I'll call ahead and have a meeting set up for you. You have time now as you're on downtime so I'd go and suggest you pack."  
  
"You want me to make a recommendation to the President? Sir I'm not best person to speak diplomatically about anything."  
  
"You seem to manage well enough and the Asgard felt that you were good enough to represent Earth at the protected planet treaty meeting. You'll do fine Colonel."  
  
"Yes sir." Jack rose and headed to the door.  
  
"Colonel." Jack turned. "You may need this." Hammond handed him the folder.  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Good luck Jack."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Sam, I think I need your help." Daniel said walking into her lab with a pill of folders.  
  
"As long as it's not got to do with Colonel O'Neill sure sit down." She said typing away at the her computer.  
  
"He's not here anyway, since we're on downtime he's gone off for a few days."  
  
"Just typical Jack O'Neill, can't get out of the place quick enough." She said still typing try to sound even tempered but Daniel could detect the tone in her voice.  
  
"Wow I thought Ferretti was lying when he said you were giving out death stare, Jack probably left so he didn't have to face your wrath while he figures out what he did to upset you."  
  
"I'm not as angry with him as I was it just happened to be on a day where I started getting really bad PMS. So, what can I help you with?"  
  
"This translation I've been doing it appears to be a lot of numbers, I think it's some kind of mathematical equation I thought you might take a look at it."  
  
"Sure." She looked at the numbers Daniel had translated and tried to see if they matched any equation she knew. "So did he go fishing as usual?"  
  
"I don't think so, He just came and said he was taking off for a few days and he would see us when he got back."  
  
"Oh, can I keep these for a few hours I'd like to run the numbers through the computer see if it can pick up a pattern I'm not seeing."  
  
"Sure, I'll finish translating the rest of the text and bring over as soon as I'm done."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Colonel O'Neill?" Some asked as soon as he had entered the White House.  
  
"Yes sir." Jack automatically replied.  
  
"I'm Thomas Hunt the President's personnel aid, the President is detained in a security briefing at the moment but if you come with me I'll show you where you can wait." Jack followed silently. "You can wait here, take a seat." Jack nodded and sat down, his hat under his arm. "Can I get you something to drink while you're waiting?"  
  
"No thank you." Jack replied.  
  
"He shouldn't be more than a few minutes." Jack nodded.  
  
Jack waited patiently for twenty minutes before the security advisors left the Oval Office.  
  
"Mr President, Colonel O'Neill is here." Jack heard Thomas tell the President.  
  
"Send him in. I want no interrupts for an hour unless someone declares war on us." "Yes sir." Thomas exited the room.  
  
"Colonel, you can go in now." Jack rose and walked into the office.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill it's good to see you again. I trust things are going well."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Please take a seat, I understand from General Hammond that you have a proposal to put forward."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Well I only have an hour free in my schedule today, lets get started."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Sam I've finished the translation, here are the last of the numbers."  
  
"Thanks let me input them and see if it helps. Did any of the translation say what it was an equation for?"  
  
"No, the only word that appears is equals and then the numbers four and two."  
  
"Hang on did you say 42?" Sam swung round to look at him.  
  
"Yes, why does it mean something to you?"  
  
"Did you ever read 'A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?'" Sam asked.  
  
"No." He shook his head.  
  
"They made us read it when I was in High School. In the book someone ask what the meaning of life is a computer calculates that the meaning of life is 42."  
  
"You're telling me that this equation proves a fictitious answer to a question man has been asking for all eternity."  
  
"Daniel, half the people we deal with most of the world believes are fictitious or at least at the widest realms of science fiction."  
  
"But you think this equation is the meaning of life?"  
  
"Probably not, I was just saying, the computer hasn't come up with anything yet so I'll finish inputting the numbers and I should have some results for you by the morning."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Major Carter." General Hammond said walking into her lab.  
  
"General Hammond sir, what can I do for you?" Sam asked jumping to her feet.  
  
"The Air Force Academy would like you to give a lecture sometime this week, if you have the time."  
  
"Yes sir, Thursday would be a good day sir."  
  
"Very well I'll inform them. Have you had any luck with your translation Doctor Jackson?"  
  
"I've finished it appears to be a mathematical equation, that why I asked Sam to help me the result seems to be 42."  
  
"The meaning of life." Hammond nodded. Sam smiled.  
  
"Has everyone read that book except me?" Daniel groaned.  
  
"My daughter bought it for me as a joke when she found out I was going to run a base dealing with deep space radar telemetry. I finally got round to reading the time I had the flu." Daniel frowned.  
  
"Don't worry Daniel I'm sure it's an equation for something else. We'll just have to figure what." Sam said reassuringly.  
  
"I'll let you get back to it. If you find anything I'll be in my office." Hammond turned to leave.  
  
"General." Sam said stopping him.  
  
"Yes Major."  
  
"Sir, do you know where Colonel O'Neill was planning on spending his down time; I need to apologise for something I did?" Sam said hesitantly.  
  
"He's gone out of town for a few days to do something for me. He should be back by Friday I'm sure you can catch him then."  
  
"Yes sir. Thank you."  
  
"By the way do you know why Jack asked me to tell Cassie chocolate?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Yes, don't worry I'll tell her."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Well Jack that sounds like an interesting idea." The President said as he finished mulling over Jack's proposal. "Would you care to tell me how you came up with the suggestion?"  
  
"Yes sir. I had a slight slip of the tongue sir and implied that the only reason that we needed Major Carter at the base was to think up situations to save to world."  
  
"How is Major Carter? From all reports she's been doing an excellent job."  
  
"She's fine sir, slight annoyed at me but she's fine." Jack replied. "The idea came about when someone reminded me of all the things that she does to keep the base running that we all take for granted. I looked her records and the her reports, Mr President I feel that she isn't getting enough recognition for all the work she does. I feel that by creating this medal and awarding it to her it would be a recognition of all the works she does for the base and the world."  
  
"I see. Thomas." The President called out.  
  
"Yes sir?" Thomas said opening the door.  
  
"Find an hour in the schedule tomorrow and set up a meeting for me with Colonel O'Neill and General Ryan."  
  
"Head of the Air Force General Ryan?" Thomas questioned.  
  
"Yes, oh and the Chair of the Joint Chiefs."  
  
"Yes sir, you have a briefing on the State of the Union speech with the senior staff in ten minutes."  
  
"Thank you Thomas. Colonel if you go with Thomas he'll organise a time and we'll discuss this further."  
  
"Yes sir, thank you."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Sam, give up on that already." Daniel said coming into Sam's lab it was almost 2100. "We've got all week and I don't think that equation is going to tell us anything with the rest of the text gone it's never going to make any sense."  
  
"There is something in this but I can't tell what." Sam murmured before furiously typing at the keyboard.  
  
"Give it up, Teal'c and I are going out and getting drunk, well I'm going to get drunk Teal'c is going to supervise, are you coming?"  
  
"Yeah. Let me switch this off them we can go and complain about something?"  
  
"How unappreciative of our jobs Jack is?" He offered.  
  
"I'm not angry with him Daniel, I was slightly annoyed this morning, like I said before he caught me on a bad day. I know he appreciates what we do, he just doesn't say it very often. It's a military thing you learn to close off emotions because of the atrocities you see. The Colonel seen a lot and with Charlie, he just closed off more. He seems to get more open then something bad happens to one of us and he closes off again it's the wall he deals with things. We just have to deal with because he's our friend and my CO."  
  
"You've thought about this a lot haven't you?" Daniel said leaning against the wall.  
  
"I learned to deal with military men locking their emotions away, when my Mom die dad closed off so it was just Mark and me, until I joined the Air Force which Mark still resents. You get used it, I think this morning I figured I could hide behind being professional but it wouldn't work. SG1 don't operate like that we work so well together because we're friends and we can predict what each other are thinking. I was being stupid thinking otherwise, besides Teal'c brought me some chocolate which definitely lifted my mood."  
  
"You're saying Jack could have apologised by bringing you chocolate?"  
  
"As my CO, he doesn't have to bring me anything, but as my friend chocolate is always a good way to apologise, despite the fact he did nothing wrong. I know I've got this being 'one of the boys' thing down, but I'm still a woman and it's proven that chocolate has a calming effect on women."  
  
"I see useful thing to know. Do you think chocolate would work on Janet?"  
  
"Daniel, a smile would work with Janet. Come on let's go and get drunk." 


	7. Phase Four D

"Hey Sam." Ferretti slapped her on the back. He was obviously drunk but Sam was used to drunken men.  
  
"Ferretti, sorry about this morning, bad day." Sam apologised.  
  
"Hey no problem, I get pissed off with him too sometimes but then again I don't work with him everyday."  
  
"Why is everyone under the impression that I'm pissed off with Colonel O'Neill? I know I was in a fragile mood the other night and said something to Janet about him being an idiot, which I didn't mean but I got over it."  
  
"So he doesn't have to apologise?" Ferretti asked.  
  
"No. Look at it this way if Colonel Harriman said something to annoy you would you expect him to apologise? Of course you wouldn't, rank means you don't have to apologise to your subordinates." Sam said before taking a slug of her beer.  
  
"That's because Harriman's a guy. He'd buy me a beer and it would be over with."  
  
"Okay I'll try this another way. You've never apologised to Hannah Jenkins for pissing her off and you do it frequently. She doesn't expect you to either, you out rank her and she knows that you usually don't mean what you say anyway."  
  
"Hannah never mentioned I pissed her off."  
  
"She has gotten so used to it that it doesn't bother that much. Just be grateful there is a punch bag in the gym. Besides she wouldn't, you're her CO, she's supposed to accept what you say. Don't worry she's not going to file a harassment suit against you."  
  
"That's good."  
  
"Yeah, she says seeing you in a skirt and heels was enough to redeem you and what with the dancing you should be okay for the rest of the year."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"So that's six medals specifically for the military personnel of the SGC and an additional four that can be awarded to the civilian personnel, including Dr Jackson and Teal'c." The President concluded.  
  
"Yes sir." General Ryan said.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill with the approval of the General's and the Joint Chiefs of staff, I think that you would be the most appropriate person, with General Hammond's approval to supervise the requests for the rewarding of these medals."  
  
"Sir?" Jack questioned. "I don't think I'm qualified to say who should receive medals and who shouldn't. I only recommended Major Carter because of the works she does."  
  
"Colonel, looking at the basic criteria we've set out for each medal Major Carter looks set to receive all of the military medals except the post humus one and additional two of the civilian medals for her work in the labs. I think you are definitely qualified for this assignment."  
  
"Thank you sir."  
  
"General, how long do you think it will take to make up the medals?"  
  
"Sir, with basic design and minting approximately three weeks for enough to be stockpiled, but we could have a set created by the middle of next week so they could be awarded to Major Carter."  
  
"Have it done, but limited access to what the medals are for due to classification. Colonel, return to the SGC have them schedule a medal ceremony for a week Friday. General, if you can find time in your schedule to present the medals."  
  
"Yes sir. It's would be an honour."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"I say we just let them work this out themselves." Janet whispered to Daniel. "Jack's trying to make it up to Sam even though she was really isn't angry with him."  
  
"It could work, Jack is obviously going to do something over the top, by the virtue of the fact that he's not very good at making gestures."  
  
"Do you have any idea where he went?" Janet asked.  
  
"General says he sent him on an errand for him. So I guess where going to have to wait until he gets back until we figure out what we're going to do next."  
  
"Sounds like a plan." Janet hopped off the infirmary bed and picked up her clipboard. "You're in perfect health Daniel." She said in a loud voice. "Make sure you stay that way, I wouldn't want you cluttering up my infirmary again soon."  
  
"Thank you Dr Fraiser. I'd better get back to work." Daniel said playing along.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Colonel, I take it your meeting was productive?" Hammond said as Jack entered his office two days later.  
  
"Yes sir. I've been asked to inform you that General Ryan will be visiting next Friday in order to address the base and to make a presentation. The President would like the nature of the General's visit to be kept classified for obvious reasons."  
  
"Of course, well done Jack. Obviously your diplomatic skills have improved during the last few years."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"So do we have a number on how many she receives?" Hammond asked.  
  
"Seven, five military and two civilian one of which is now the Air Force equivalent to the Nobel Prize for civilians who can't reveal their work because of the classified nature."  
  
"Who did they appoint in charge as the person to submit the request forms to?" Hammond enquired.  
  
"Me sir. With your approval of course."  
  
"Of course. It was good work Jack. By the way Major Carter would probably like to see you she's been waiting for you to get back so she could apologise for her behaviour."  
  
"I take it she didn't leave again General?"  
  
"No, she's been assisting Dr Jackson with a translation. A complex mathematical equation with an answer of 42." Hammond informed him  
  
"Ah the fictional meaning of life. Really puts the stuff on Ernest's planet to shame." Jack smiled.  
  
"Don't mention that to Dr Jackson, he seems to think he's the only one who hasn't read the book"  
  
"I thought it was required reading." Jack joked.  
  
"Maybe you should look into that and write me a report."  
  
"With all due respect sir I'll pass on that if you don't mind. It seems I'm going to be gaining extra paperwork as it is."  
  
"Of course Colonel. They were in Dr Jackson's office and enjoy your weekend."  
  
"Thank you sir." Jack opened the door and headed to the elevator.  
  
"General the President is on the telephone." Lieutenant Simmons said through the open door.  
  
"Thank you Lieutenant and close the door."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Mr President."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Hey Danny Boy. Didn't take the leave as a reason to actually leave then?" Jack said as he strolled into Daniel's lab.  
  
"We've been busy working on a translation. It's this really long equation so Sam's helping me, she seems to think."  
  
"It's Douglas Adams's meaning of life?" Jack finished for him.  
  
"General Hammond told you."  
  
"Yeah. So have you all been behaving yourselves since I've been gone?"  
  
"What you really mean is Sam still angry with you?"  
  
"Yeah." He said picking up a pyramid paperweight from the desk and fiddling with it.  
  
"She was never that angry with you in the first place. She knows you appreciate what she does here and she was just having a rough couple of days. Besides she says as her CO you don't have apologise for anything, but as her friend chocolate always makes a good apology gift."  
  
"Couldn't someone have told me that a week ago. Now I have two problems, an extra ticket for the hockey game tomorrow and I've just spent a few pointless days in Washington."  
  
"Why what happened in Washington sir?" Sam asked entering the lab, Jack fumbled placing the paperweight on the desk.  
  
"Hey Carter." He said turning to face her.  
  
"Hello Colonel, so what was in Washington?" She repeated.  
  
"It's classified."  
  
"See Daniel, I told you having top secret clearance wasn't enough to get anyone to sell state secrets." She joked sitting on one of the stools and shot Jack a smile.  
  
"Look Carter, I wanted to apologise if I implied that I didn't appreciate what you do here."  
  
"Don't worry about it sir. I need to apologise for the way I acted. I was tired and I was having a bad few days and it was unprofessional. I'm sorry."  
  
"No sweat. So we're friends again?" Jack asked.  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Good, you busy tomorrow?"  
  
"Not really sir. I was planning on getting a head start on some reports that were due in and waiting around for Dr Xandrian to get back to me."  
  
"Xandrian?" Jack questioned not recognising the name.  
  
"A mathematician, Sam sent him the equation to look at to see if he could shed any light on it." Daniel informed him. "So what did he say when you called him?"  
  
"That it looked interesting, he wanted to where we found it. It pretty hard to explain to one of the countries most enigmatic and well respected Mathematicians that it was classified."  
  
"Sure you had no problems Carter." Jack added.  
  
"He's going to look into it. But I can't figure out why they would write that equation I mean the answer checks out but I still don't understand the principle behind it. So why did you want to know sir?"  
  
"About the equation?" Jack asked.  
  
"No about me being busy this weekend."  
  
"You see I have a spare ticket to a hockey game and everyone else is busy or doesn't understand it or is in a phase where they prefer men with less padding." Sam smirked. "Did you want to come?"  
  
"Men beating each other up chasing a piece of plastic round a rink of frozen water in big pads and no chance of getting shot." Sam smiled. "Sounds like fun."  
  
"Major Carter to the control room. Major Carter to the control room." The tannoy echoed.  
  
"But I might need to take a rain check depending what they've done to the gate this time. It's nice to have you back sir. If you'll excuse me." She left.  
  
"See that went well." Daniel said. "And Janet was right about you asking her."  
  
"Huh?" Jack turned back to Daniel.  
  
"I said Janet was right about her saying yes if you asked her."  
  
"She probably needs a few hours away from the base if she's been trying help you with an equation since I left."  
  
"Whatever. So why did you go to Washington and what does it have to do with making it up to Sam?"  
  
"Like I said it's classified until next week. By the way you'll have to tidy up we're getting a visitor, Air Force has strict standards you know."  
  
"I'm not in the Air Force. Please don't tell me the President is coming to visit again."  
  
"No, just General Ryan. He wants to do an inspection of the work we're doing here."  
  
"So you made a pointless visit to Washington to visit General Ryan?" Daniel inquired.  
  
"No, not specifically but I did talk to him. I think I've been working here to long I spent the whole time in Washington craving the commissary's Jell-O."  
  
"Get them to save Sam some blue Jell-O she hasn't had any all week and you know how she gets."  
  
"I'll take that under advisement. If I don't see you have a nice weekend."  
  
"You too Jack and make sure Sam eats something."  
  
"Will do."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Carter, go and find the seats and I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
"Yes sir." Sam said taking her ticket from him and went on a recon for the seats. Jack came and found her a few minutes later and held out a paper bag and a paper cup.  
  
"Loaded hotdog and a diet soda." He said with a smile.  
  
"Thank you sir." She said accepting them. "You didn't have to."  
  
"Chocolate didn't seem the appropriate thing for a hockey match."  
  
"I see you've been talking to Daniel again. Like I said yesterday sir, you don't have to apologise you're my CO you can say what you like as long as it doesn't come under sexual discrimination and not have to apologise. But thank you for the thought sir." She said biting into her hotdog.  
  
"Carter, we're at a sports event and no where near the base, we known each other for years now and we're friends don't you think you could drop the sir and Colonel for one evening."  
  
"I don't think so sir. It's your title and you've earned it. Like I've said on numerous occasions it's a sign of respect."  
  
"I'd still take it as a sign of respect if you called me Jack on occasions."  
  
"How often have I ever called you anything other than the sir or Colonel?" She asked.  
  
"Well during the Jolinar thing and. Samantha."  
  
"For both of those cases I have to say it wasn't really me. But I'll make you the same deal I made Cassie, convince Teal'c to call me Sam off duty and I'll promise to work on it."  
  
"Deal."  
  
"Good because the game is about to start." She smiled and turned her attention back to the rink.  
  
~ ~  
  
"So sir, can I ask why you didn't tell me General Ryan was coming to inspect the base next week?" Sam said after the end of the second period.  
  
"Did I forget to mention it? I'm sure Hammond will have it in a memo by Monday."  
  
"So you went to visit General Ryan?" She said sipping her drink.  
  
"Nice try Carter, but not subtle enough. Like I said before it's classified."  
  
"I was only trying to make conversation Colonel." Sam said even faced.  
  
"No, we're trying to trick me into telling you why I went to Washington. The teach you to watch out for people trying to manipulate you in black ops training. I'm pretty good at it." He commented.  
  
"With all due respect sir you're only good at it some of the time."  
  
"And what's that supposed to mean?" He asked.  
  
"You've never seemed to notice when Daniel and I double team you in order to give each other extra time to work."  
  
"Not really."  
  
"You didn't ever notice that when Daniel is arguing with you about needing extra time I'm always running a few extra tests just in case you say no? Or that I start discussing something that could really wait until later so that he can have a few extra minutes."  
  
"And you both do this a lot?"  
  
"That would be classified sir."  
  
"I could order you to tell me you know."  
  
"I know, but you won't. We think its quite sweet when you don't notice you get this confused look on your face." She stopped and realised what she had just said. "I'm sorry sir, that was totally inappropriate."  
  
"No sweat, I'm not here as you're CO, we're here as friends you can say what you like unless you start spouting something classified and I have to do something to shut you up."  
  
"Like what?" She asked in a teasing tone.  
  
"I don't know but I'd think of something. Thinking on your feet is something the Air Force teaches you."  
  
"And what else has the Air Force taught you?" Sam asked.  
  
"A lot, but I think I learned most from you."  
  
"That's a very sweet thing to say sir. We might make a diplomat out of you one day yet."  
  
"Hey! Thor doesn't have a problem with my diplomatic abilities, neither for that matter does the President."  
  
"So you went to Washington to see the President now that makes sense. How is he?"  
  
"Why you."  
  
"I'm sorry sir but you walked into that one. Maybe I should be the one who needs to think up a plan for if you start revealing classified information."  
  
"Carter."  
  
"The game is starting again."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"That was fun." Sam said as they made their way across the parking lot to Jack's SUV.  
  
"Yeah." Jack agreed.  
  
"But I'm still hungry. Do you mind if we gate crash your house and order pizza?" She asked.  
  
"Why not." He smiled.  
  
"Can I borrow your cell phone, I left mine at home charging?" He tossed it to her. She quickly dialled a number.  
  
"Hi Daniel it's Sam. Yeah it was a good game. Look we're going to gatecrash the Colonel's house and order pizza, are you coming?... Daniel you need to eat.. I know, I'll come in and help you with it tomorrow morning, but we're taking tomorrow afternoon because we have plans for Monday.. Come on Daniel and bring Teal'c.. Daniel if you don't come and eat with us I'll call Janet and get her to restrict you from active duty due to lack of food.. I would. Come eat with us it'll be team bonding. Good I'll see you soon. Bye Daniel." She turned to look at Jack, who was smiling at her. "What are you smiling at?"  
  
"Nothing." Sam shot him a look which told him she didn't believe him. "Okay, it's just funny that you want to make sure Daniel eats, he told me exactly the same thing about you."  
  
"Yeah well. You know us scientist types sir, once we get stuck on a train of thought or something that intrigues us we survive on caffeine."  
  
"Tell me about it. Seriously we need to switch Daniel to de-caff."  
  
"What about me?" She asked getting in the car."  
  
"I think you can take care of yourself, Daniel on the other hand needs someone to watch over him."  
  
"He says the same about you. He knows you can look out for you're self in the field, he just worries about what's going on in your head sometimes."  
  
"Please don't tell me he was a shrink in a previous life." Jack joked.  
  
"He watches people it's part of his job, he assimilates cultures and languages, one of the best ways to study people and cultures is to observe them and how people interact."  
  
"I thought you told me you weren't an anthropologist."  
  
"Well I guess you guys rubbed off on me. Case in point hockey matches, never liked hockey until I joined SG-1."  
  
"How can you not like hockey?" He asked.  
  
"Mark liked baseball. He used to take me to games sometimes. You have more influence over us than you know, look at Teal'c and his love of the Simpson's. Did you honestly think when you took this job that one of your team would be well Teal'c and he was the type to watch little yellow people who have a very similar sense of humour to you sir?"  
  
"No, when I originally took this job I was going on a suicide mission." He muttered. Sam snapped round to look at him.  
  
"Excuse me?" She said not quite believing what she'd heard.  
  
"What? They didn't know what was on the other side, once Daniel figured out what the little picture things were, they needed someone who was ready to stay behind and destroy a bomb to protect Earth. Things changed."  
  
"What changed your mind?" Sam asked.  
  
"Daniel and Skarra. Both of them had the child like innocence, they wanted to go out and face the world and needed protecting, but they convinced me that maybe there was something to live for, even though when I got back Sara had already left. I survived, it still hurts everyday that Charlie died, I still miss him like crazy, but there are people out there I can protect and that's what I am going to do for as long as I can."  
  
"That's a noble pursuit sir. It definitely makes me feel bad for hating you before I met you."  
  
"You hated me?" He questioned.  
  
"I was supposed to go on the initial mission, your suicide mission I'd been working on the project for two years before that, I was supposed to go, but it was decided that a woman should go on a mission into hostile territory, and there was something about a mention of a Colonel O'Neill who had a minor problem with scientist and was on the point of refusing to have just a Dr Jackson on team. So I hated you, that's probably why I had an attitude the first day we met and I went on my feminist kick."  
  
"So you're opinion changed?"  
  
"Yes, I figured if you could spar with me as well as Mark and my Dad I could cope with you as a CO."  
  
"That's nice to know Carter." He said sarcastically  
  
"You wanted the truth. I was going on that mission or I could have slightly destroyed to the targeting computer, it would have been pretty easy since it was built to my specification and I designed all the computer programs for it."  
  
"You'd really do that?" He asked.  
  
"I got plenty offers for a lot more than the Air Force pays, but I wanted to go through the gate, call it my life's work. I honesty don't think I'd trade anything we've been through, besides if it weren't for the SGC I'd technically be an orphan. Another bonus, I get to kick ass every now and be the envy of every woman on the base so it's not so bad."  
  
"The envy of every woman on the base?" He repeated.  
  
"Pretty much every woman on the base has a thing for either, Daniel, Teal'c or you. Daniel doesn't notice the women, especially the nurses, Teal'c ignores it and they wait until you've gone by before they swoon." She smiled as she watched him smirk.  
  
"I think today has been really educational."  
  
"You remember how we were discussing things being classified."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Consider this whole conversation classified."  
  
TBC 


	8. Phase Four E

"So did you and Colonel O'Neill sort everything out?" Janet asked as she gave Sam a pre-mission check up.  
  
"Sure, we're friends again." Sam replied.  
  
"You got that right." Jack added. "So is she cleared to go, we ship out in thirty minutes?"  
  
"Yes sir. I just need to give her a vitamin shot and a dose of anti- histamine and she's all yours." Giving everyone a shot of anti-histamine before going off world had become standard procedure since the Land of Light incident, as to which they referred to it.  
  
"See you in the gate room Carter." Jack said before going to kit up.  
  
"Yes sir." Sam replied.  
  
"He's definitely in a better mood. So what happened?" Janet asked.  
  
"Nothing, we went to a hockey game, we apologised, we call the guys over we had pizza and no one can answer the riddle of the mysterious equation."  
  
"Maybe it's like the book and is the meaning of life. Something that's unexplainable." Janet offered.  
  
"Maybe. You heard the Colonel; I'd better go and get ready. I'll see you in a few days."  
  
"Be careful, I don't want the infirmary cluttered up with bodies for General Ryan's visit."  
  
"Will do. Oh by the way tell Cassie, to do some research on Texas and cowboys." Janet shot her a puzzled look, but let her go.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Come on Daniel it's time to go home, I've got to tidy my office before General Ryan gets here on Friday." Jack called.  
  
"I still need a few more minutes Jack." Daniel replied.  
  
"You've had three days and you've taken enough pictures, translate everything you have and if we really need to come back I'll convince Hammond. But we're leaving now and that means you too Carter." He called over his shoulder to where Sam where quickly tapping away on her laptop.  
  
"I knew I was going to regret telling you that." She said under her breath. Jack shot her a look. "Yes sir." She shut down her computer.  
  
"Jack do we really have to leave, I mean is it going to matter that much if we're not there for General Ryan's visit?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Yes it does matter." Jack said through gritted teeth.  
  
"And why would that be sir?" Sam asked trying to bait him.  
  
"Because I promised him that you would put on the Shavadi dress and dance around the gate room." He shot back.  
  
"With all due respect sir, I think I'd resign first."  
  
"What and make General Ryan have a wasted visit? I didn't know you were one for dereliction of duty there Carter."  
  
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me sir. There are limits to what I'll do in the line of duty and I think we've reach most of them at one point or another."  
  
"Oh really and why pray tell would they be." Jack said gripping the top of his gun, Teal'c just stood and watched.  
  
"I let you know when we reach another one sir." Sam said crinkling her nose up.  
  
"Dress uniform?" Jack offered as an alternative.  
  
"Dress uniform yes, dancing no. I'm ready to go I just need to check the MALP is secure when we reach the gate sir."  
  
"Thank you." Daniel mouthed to Sam for the few more minutes she'd bought him.  
  
"Daniel?" Jack turned back to him.  
  
"Yes I just need put these back in my pack." He said picking up his note books.  
  
"Teal'c, Carter, get back to the gate, we'll catch up in a minute."  
  
"Yes sir." Sam replied.  
  
"As you wish O'Neill." Teal'c said before following Sam.  
  
"Did you have to mention not going back?" Jack snapped as soon as they were out of ear shot.  
  
"Excuse me?" Daniel said. "Why is it so important that we're there any way?"  
  
"This information is classified and if you so much as breath a word about it I'll zat you enough times that they won't find the body."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I went to Washington last week to pitch to the President the need for medals specifically for the SGC. General Ryan is coming on Friday to present some to Carter for all her work."  
  
"Wow. You really are good at over the top gestures. You said some how many medals is she getting?"  
  
"Seven. Dating back over her time in the SGC. Including one for breaking the laws of physics to get me back from Edora. That's why she needs to be there and that's why the information is classified. You can't tell her."  
  
"I promise. This is so exciting."  
  
"Daniel, We'd better get back to the gate before they come looking for us."  
  
"Sure."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Janet." Daniel entered the infirmary firmly gripping two paper cups.  
  
"Daniel, please tell me you didn't manage to injure yourself between your physical and the end of your debriefing." She said without looking up from her clipboard.  
  
"I brought you some coffee. Do you have five minutes to chat in your office I've got an update?"  
  
"Sure. Helena, I'll be in my office." She called to one of the nurses.  
  
"Yes ma'am." Daniel smiled at her comment.  
  
"What?" Janet asked.  
  
"Sorry, I forget sometimes that you're a Major in the Air Force too and not just Doc as Jack would say."  
  
"Let's just say being a base doctor has it's advantages over being in the field, but I can still kick butt with the rest of them." She said as she closed the door. "So?"  
  
"Did you notice anything different between Jack and Sam?" Daniel asked.  
  
"What you mean the intense flirting?" She asked.  
  
"Yep. It kicked into overdrive after the weekend and has been getting worse."  
  
"Maybe our plan was more effective than we first thought." She suggested.  
  
"That's not the best of it. What I am about to tell you is highly classified and you have to promise not to tell Sam." He said.  
  
"Daniel, whatever say will fall under doctor patient confidentiality. So spill." She encouraged with a sense of intrigue.  
  
"You remember Jack's mysterious disappearance to Washington last week."  
  
"Yeah. He meet up with General Ryan."  
  
"General Ryan is not the only person he met. He went to see the President as well."  
  
"What for?" Janet inquired.  
  
"The big overt gesture we were waiting for. He went to convince the President that the SGC needed it's own set of medals."  
  
"Wow. Extreme diplomacy needed there. I take it he got approval."  
  
"I'll say, that's why General Ryan is coming, he's going to present Sam with seven medals for all her work over the years. She's the first recipient."  
  
"Oh my God. Maybe we should get him to say he appreciates us less. But she definitely deserves it and it's definitely not what I would expect from Jack O'Neill."  
  
There was a knock on the door.  
  
"Come in." Janet called.  
  
"Hi Janet, did you .." Sam stopped. "Sorry am I interrupting something?" She asked.  
  
"No, we were just having coffee and trying to figure out what all these secret messages you and Colonel O'Neill keep sending to Cassie mean." Janet covered.  
  
"That's Cassie's secret, the Colonel and I are just helping out, besides you'll find out on Monday anyway."  
  
"Ok, so what can I do for you?" Janet asked.  
  
"I actually came to see if you wanted to get some coffee, I've got an hour to kill."  
  
"Why I thought you were planning on running the tests on the samples we brought back." Daniel stated.  
  
"I was but some of the lab techs decided to use the equipment in my lab while I was away and managed to short half of it out. Colonel O'Neill is in the process at yelling at about how expensive the equipment is and about their duty to report damage like this immediately, not that he has an idea what half the equipment does."  
  
"Shouldn't you be there giving moral support?" Daniel asked,  
  
"I kind of had to leaving to suppress a fit of giggles. The Colonel has strict rules about me not giggling in his presence. So I slipped out to requisition the spare lab equipment from storage, it's going to take them an hour to find it all so I thought I'd come and see if Janet wanted to get coffee since I couldn't find you and Teal'c is kel'nor'emming."  
  
"So sit down and join us." Janet encouraged. "Are you looking forward to General Ryan's visit tomorrow?" She asked.  
  
"As much as any base inspection. It does have its bonuses though; everyone has filed all their reports and the rest of their paperwork correctly ahead of schedule, which will make my life easier."  
  
"Couldn't you threaten them with Colonel O'Neill making a lab inspection every week to get them to do all their work?" Janet suggested.  
  
"That wouldn't work. They still joke about the whole neutrino - Nintendo comment. That's why him yelling at them about lab equipment was so funny."  
  
"I think Jack's beginning to learn more about what we do here everyday." Daniel commented.  
  
"I'm in no doubt about that, but I still remember having to explain the concept of wormholes to him using an apple metaphor. He's got the Malapropisms down so it's funny."  
  
"Malapropisms?" Janet questioned.  
  
"Mrs Malaprop, a character in Sheridan's the Rivals, she always confused everyday words for something else. Like the neutrino - Nintendo thing." Daniel supplied.  
  
"I see." The phone rang. "Fraiser." Janet said answering it. "Yes sir she's here. I'll just get her for you." Janet put her hand over the phone. "Sam, Colonel O'Neill for you."  
  
"Thank you." Sam said taking the phone. "Colonel. Yes sir. thank you . I'll be right up. Yes sir I'll tell him." She hung up the phone. "Daniel, Colonel O'Neill would like me to tell you that hiding out with Janet is not an excuse not to tidy your lab as he knows you passed your physical."  
  
"How did he know I was here? For that matter how did he know you were here?"  
  
"You're usually here, in one of our labs or in the commissary it's not a hard deduction. If you'll excuse me I have two Lieutenants who have been coerced into wanting to make an apology to me."  
  
"I'll see you later Sam." Janet and Daniel both called.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Jell-O sir?" Sam said holding out a glass of red Jell-O to Jack.  
  
"Thanks. How did you know?" He asked.  
  
"You looked hungry and I figure this wouldn't stain if someone accidentally bumped into you."  
  
"Thanks. So General Ryan gets here in a little over an hour. Everything tidy and in order?"  
  
"Yes sir. If you don't mind me saying you look a little anxious. Is everything okay sir?"  
  
"Yea sure, you betcha. Just make sure that you show up for General Ryan's speech on time."  
  
"Sir, is there something going on that you're not telling me?" Sam asked suspicious.  
  
"Why would you say that?" Jack joked.  
  
"I can read you pretty well. You're hiding something sir."  
  
"If I am I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. I'd better go and check in with General Hammond. I'll see you later." He got up and left Sam sitting confused.  
  
"Hey Sam. How's things going?" Daniel sat down in the seat Jack had just vacated.  
  
"Fine. Daniel, what's going on?"  
  
"General Ryan is getting here in less than an hour and people are rushing round making sure the place is tidy and you and I are sat here. Why?"  
  
"Something suspicious is going on. Colonel O'Neill is acting strangely, so is Janet and you've been giving me strange looks all day. So I ask again what's going on Daniel?"  
  
"Look at the time, I've got to go and check all my books are in alphabetical order." He up and left. Now Sam was definitely suspicious now.  
  
"Unauthorised gate activation." Blared the tannoy. Sam got up and ran for the control room. "Major Carter to the control room." Sam rushed into the control room a few minutes later.  
  
"That was quick for someone in heels." Jack joked. Sam looked out into the control room where the podium was being reset up.  
  
"I was called sir?" Sam questioned.  
  
"You have a visitor." Jack pointed over her shoulder. Sam turned.  
  
"Dad." She hugged her father.  
  
"It seems I came at a bad time with everyone dressed up and everything."  
  
"Better now than in an hour. General Ryan is coming to do an inspection in thirty minutes."  
  
"As in the head of the Air Force General Ryan." Jacob asked.  
  
"Yes. Colonel O'Neill went to Washington last week and met with him and he decided a visit to the base was in order. It's good to see you Dad. Did the Tok'ra need our help?" Sam asked.  
  
"No. I just thought I would come and visit for a few days. I suppose I should go and change if the General is coming, I think George has my uniform has uniform around here somewhere."  
  
"Dad, you're a Tok'ra. I don't think General Ryan will have a problem with you not being in uniform."  
  
"But last time I check I was still a General in the US Air Force. Isn't that right Jack?"  
  
"Yes Jacob. You're assigned to Cheyenne Mountain but are currently on assignment somewhere in the heart of Africa and are unreachable."  
  
"Colonel, is there some sort of conspiracy going on here?"  
  
"I think you're paranoid Major, but I'm still impressed it only took three minutes to get here from the commissary in heels."  
  
"I've had more practice than you sir. With your permission I'll go and help Dad locate his uniform."  
  
"I think that incident is one we'll forget for now. Go ahead, General Hammond is on the surface waiting for General Ryan to arrive, but you could try the locker the keep for you here it might be there." Jack suggested.  
  
"I'll see you later Jack and straighten your tie." Jacob advised.  
  
"Yes sir." Jack shot off a salute.  
  
"So Dad why did Colonel O'Neill call you?" Sam asked when they were out of earshot.  
  
"He didn't."  
  
"So you just happen to arrive when everyone else is behaving in a peculiar manner around me for no apparent reason?" Sam said not believing him.  
  
"I don't know about everyone else, but I just finished a mission and thought I'd come and visit for a few days. If you don't want me here I can go and get them to dismantle whatever they were setting up in the gate room so I can go back."  
  
"No you can stay. But I don't believe you."  
  
"If you're going to be this suspicious of people Sammie you may want to think of a career change, I'm sure the JAG corps are still looking for good people."  
  
"Funny Dad. Changing the topic how long can you stay?"  
  
"A few days I'm not sure why?"  
  
"Colonel O'Neill and I are helping Cassie throw a surprise birthday party for General Hammond next Saturday night, if you can stay I can make sure she invites you."  
  
"Who else knows about this?" Jacob asked.  
  
"Invitations go out on Monday, we're having a Texas theme. Lots of Cowboys and Indians."  
  
"Sounds interesting. How did she rope you and Jack into it?" He asked.  
  
"She needed a little recognisance done and she wanted to have the party on the base so she had to get Colonel O'Neill involved as she couldn't directly as General Hammond to throw a party for him. Colonel O'Neill got General Ryan's approval when he saw him last week." She stopped in front of the locker Jacob had been given and opened it and took out the uniform. "One freshly dry cleaned uniform, so are you going to tell me now nothing is going on?"  
  
"Only that you're going to skedaddle so that an old man can change." He kissed her forehead. 


	9. Phase Four F

"Carter, lock the iris up. Use the secure code you cleared." Jack ordered. The iris was locked using a specific code that was set up only for when they had high security visiting dignitaries so that if everyone in the gate room was attacked no one could open the iris with out the specific code word transfer into numerals using the phone key pad system. This code word was always given to someone off base so it couldn't be coerced out of them. This time Cassie had been entrusted with the code word. Not that she knew what it meant but at least it was safe. Sam was the only person on the base other than General Hammond who knew what the word was, as she had written the encoding software.  
  
"Yes sir." Sam replied and sat at the computer and tapped in the code number 78274283 and the computer reported a secure iris lock. "Done sir."  
  
"Good, because Generals Hammond are on their way down."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Colonel." Hammond said as they entered the gate room after the inspection.  
  
"Platoon hup." They all stood to attention as General Ryan made his way up to the podium.  
  
"At ease." The only sound that echoed in the room was the stomp of boots hitting the floor. "Firstly I would like to say that it is a pleasure to be here again and I would like to commend you on the smooth running of this base. I would also like to recount a message from the President commending you all for all you're hard work and efforts in protecting this planet. It's a tough job and you all constantly put your lives on the line and you should all be proud of yourselves." He paused. "It was pointed out to the President and myself by someone who wishes at this time to remain nameless that it was possible that you did not receive enough recognition for all your efforts. To that effect I'm here to announce that the Air Force has created a new set of medals for the SGC specifically to be awarded to members of both the military and the civilian staff. To this end Colonel?"  
  
"Platoon hup." Jack instruction they all stood to attention again.  
  
"Major Carter if you'd please step forward." Sam shot Jack a quizzical look from SG-1's position from on the gate ramp and stepped forward. "Major, it has been brought to the attention of the President all of your efforts to keep this program running over the last four years and for this effort shall be reward. However there is a slight problem, we won't be pinning all your medals on as you are receiving seven at this time. However, I'll list the awards you are receiving, The SGC Medal of Honour for going above and beyond the call of duty on numerous occasion not only to save your team mates but the people of Earth as well. In addition the SGC's Air Force Cross and the SGC's version of the Meritous Service Award. Then there is the Air Force Award for Service. The SGC Award for the Defence of Earth medal and the SGC Air Force award for Innovation in time of adversity. In addition to these awards for specifically the Air Force Major Carter will be receiving two awards which would normally be award to civilians. The first being an Award for Scientific achievement and research. In addition the SGC equivalent to Nobel Prize for her work with the particle beam accelerator and the Naqquadah reactor."  
  
"Thank you sir." Sam shot of a salute and took the collection of boxes from him there was a round of applause.  
  
"Next." Jack got a confused look. "Dr Jackson."  
  
"Me." Daniel said startled.  
  
"Yes Dr Jackson, there Air Force would like to Award you a medal for going above and beyond the call of duty in your role as a civilian advisor and as a member of SG-1."  
  
"Er, thank you." Daniel said taking the box from.  
  
"You've earned it son." General Hammond said.  
  
"Mr Teal'c. The Air Force would like to extend our gratitude for your efforts in defending this planet and for your constant assistance in we would like to present you with an Award for going above and beyond as well." Teal'c bowed his head. "Finally Colonel O'Neill. We would like to present you with following medals, the SGC Medal of Honour, the SGC Meritous Service Award and SGC Award for the Defence of Earth. You and you're team have been the major participants in the efforts to save the planet, we'd also like to present you with an award for your team."  
  
"Thank you sir." Jack said.  
  
"By the way any recommendations for medals should go through Colonel O'Neill. Again keep up the hard work. Dismissed." The SGC personnel filed out of the room. General Ryan turned to Jack. "Apologises for spring this on you Colonel, but the President felt after your discussion the rest of your team needed to be rewarded as well."  
  
"Yes sir." Jack said.  
  
"Congratulations Sammie." Jacob said coming and hugging her.  
  
"Thanks Dad. Are you going to tell me now that Colonel O'Neill didn't call you?" She asked.  
  
"Actually I'll take credit for that Major." General Hammond said. "I thought Jacob would like to be here."  
  
"If you'll excuse me I have a meeting in a few hours I need to get back for. Jacob, it was nice to see you again."  
  
"You too sir." They all shot off salutes before General Ryan left.  
  
"Err, Jack." Daniel said. "When we had that little discussion the other day you didn't mention anything about me getting an award."  
  
"That's because I didn't know about it. Heck I was only told about Sam." Jack said.  
  
"The President felt that Colonel O'Neill put forward a good case so he asked me to send him files on the rest of SG-1 in addition to the one he had on Major Carter. You all deserve it. Major if you can unlock the iris then SG-1 you're on downtime until Monday."  
  
"Yes sir. Umm Dad can you hold these for me?" Sam handed him the medal boxes.  
  
"Sure Sammie." He held the boxes and she headed for the gate room. "Still a little shell shocked there Jack?" Jacob teased.  
  
"Yeah, this wasn't exactly supposed to happen." He held up his medal boxes.  
  
"So I hear, but you deserve it. So what are you planning to do to celebrate?"  
  
"Didn't have plans. Guys any suggestions?" Jack asked Daniel and Teal'c who were comparing medals.  
  
"Can we go and order pizza or something?" Daniel said as the iris unlocked.  
  
"Chinese, it's better for you." Sam said over the speaker into the gate room. "More vegetables."  
  
"Thank you Doctor." Jack said sarcastically.  
  
"Just looking out for your health guys, I don't need any of you having heart attacks on me."  
  
"At least she didn't suggest tofu like last time." Daniel pointed out.  
  
"She made you eat tofu?" Jacob asked confuse.  
  
"Janet's was on a health kick. Apparently we eat to much junk food and Daniel lives on too much coffee just like Carter. So Sam decide we'd eat tofu burger and salad. Let's just say we ordered pizza after she left."  
  
"I heard that sir." Sam said walking back into the gate room. "So are we invading your house again?"  
  
"Sure. Jacob you coming?" Jack asked.  
  
"Yeah, any food has to be better than what the Tok'ra have." Jacob smiled.  
  
"So you only come for the food, I'm hurt Jacob." Jack teased. "Come over in two hours, I'll invite Doc and Cassie as long as you don't complain about what we eat or how drunk we get Carter."  
  
"Now why would I do something like that sir? Maybe because last time you and Daniel went on a binge you ended up at my house because you couldn't remember your address?" She offered.  
  
"Get Carter." Jack teased.  
  
"Yes sir." She headed to the door. "By the way thank you." She called over her shoulder.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Change of plan." Jack said as he opened the door.  
  
"So we're not staying?" Sam asked. "Come on Dad, we'll go back to my house."  
  
"No, you're staying if you still want to we're just not having Chinese. I decided to barbeque instead."  
  
"Really, so we're eating burnt food again. Ah my favourite." Sam said as she walked past him into the house.  
  
"Hey I don't burn it that often, it's usually Teal'c's fault for distracting me." He turned to look at her.  
  
"That's what you said last time too sir and I'm pretty sure Teal'c was kel'noreeming at the time. Beer in the fridge sir?"  
  
"Help yourself. Get your Dad one too." He turned back to Jacob who was still stood in the doorway. "Are you going to stand out there all night Jacob?"  
  
"No. No sorry. Selmak was just saying something."  
  
"So are Cassie and Janet coming? It'll be a good time to work on the details." Sam said from her position sat on one of the kitchen counters.  
  
"They'll be here later, Cass had to stay later at school, something about Basketball practice."  
  
"Ah Dominic. They might be a while then."  
  
"Who's Dominic?" Jacob asked.  
  
"The boy Cassie has a crush on. He's in the basketball team, so she and a friend sit in on their practises." Sam informed him.  
  
"Don't worry, Teal'c, Daniel and I offered Janet assistance if she needs any help." Jack lent against the counter.  
  
"I think if you did Cassie would never speak to you again."  
  
"Okay, change of topic. What are you going to do with all your nice new shiny medals."  
  
"Keep them in their boxes. I still can't believe you went all the way to Washington to pitch the idea to the President because you though I was mad at you for not appreciating what I do."  
  
"I tried to get Hammond to pitch the idea, but then you had to go get our mission cancelled."  
  
"Hey that wasn't my fault. I'm sure I could still get General Hammond to send you there sir. Anything you want said at your funeral or do you want us to just wing it?"  
  
"Why you?" He plucked a handful of peanuts out of a bowl and started throwing them at her.  
  
"Hey it's fair to fire at an unarmed person." She grabbed the grapes out the fruit bowl and started firing back. The doorbell rang.  
  
"I'll get it." Jacob said leaving them alone. "Hi Daniel, Teal'c."  
  
"Hey Jacob, Jack not answering his front door anymore?" Daniel asked.  
  
"He and Sam are having a food fight in the kitchen at the moment."  
  
"Really? Good."  
  
"Would someone care to fill me in on what's going on?" Jacob demanded.  
  
"Hey Jack, haven't you told Jacob about the skirt and heels yet?" Daniel called.  
  
"What's a skirt and heels go to do with anything?"  
  
"Hey Sam come and tell your dad about all your little plotting."  
  
"I'm kind of in the middle of an ambush right now. Why don't you tell him about phase one while I finish this." Sam called back.  
  
"Why don't we go and sit down Jacob? If they're not done in five minutes I'll send Teal'c in to break it up."  
  
"Indeed." Teal'c added.  
  
"So what's this about skirts and heels?" Jacob asked.  
  
"A couple of months ago Sam was put in charge of a training program to train the men of the base to be more sensitive to the women. Phase one of the program was to give us all Baby Think It Over dolls for a week after Jack made us leave Sam to look after a baby while we went on a tour. Then about a month ago we were on a treaty signing mission so Sam and Jack were in dress uniform and Sam had a problem with her shoes and was delayed coming through the gate. Jack being Jack made a comment about it so Sam and Janet set up another phase of the training program which involved an off world training exercise with the leaders of the SG teams. She convinced Hammond to make them wear women's dress skirts and heels. It was quite a fun day."  
  
"I'll bet it was."  
  
"No it was heels are bad for your posture." Jack yelled. "Hey don't you dare think about throwing flour at me."  
  
"Anyway Sam felt guilty so she organised a ball for the SGC teams. Something about showing the men they could be gentlemen as well as officers. Afterwards when Sam left she went to work the next day. After that for some reason Sam came here with Cassie and Jack said something really stupid about which roughly came out as Jack not appreciating what Sam does at the SGC. Sam left and was having a bad day so Jack thought she hated him. So when our mission got cancel Jack decided to apologise by going to Washington to convince the President to give Sam a medal for her work. But as Sam really didn't hate Jack they apologised to each other, went to a hockey match and the rest you know." Daniel took a breath. "Anything I missed guys?"  
  
"Not that I can think of." Sam yelled.  
  
"Good. Can you stop behaving like children we're hungry in hear and we were promised food?"  
  
"Right." Jack appeared at the door with his head covered in a white dusting of flour. "I'm going to take a shower and as for food Sam's volunteered to cook as she thinks I burn things. Then she's going to tidy up my kitchen."  
  
"Cooking I can handle but I'm not tidying up sir. Those who cook don't tidy up right Dad?" Sam said.  
  
"Sorry Jack it was always a rule in our house. But then again that's why Sam's so good at tiding up she can't cook."  
  
"Hey, I'm not that bad." Sam protested.  
  
"Sam do I have to remind of the time you almost burned down your apartment while trying to cook a roast chicken?" Jack tried to hold back a smile, but Sam noticed and elbowed him in te ribs.  
  
"Hey Carter there are rules about assaulting your CO you know."  
  
"I thought you told me that when we weren't at the base and we were on downtime you weren't my CO you were my friend Colonel."  
  
"Yeah, but not I reserve the right to change my mind. I'll stop when you start calling me Jack."  
  
"We talked about that and we had a deal sir. Now what am I supposed to be cooking?"  
  
"It's in the fridge. The barbeque should be hot by now, I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
"So Sam, skirts and heels?" Jacob questioned.  
  
"It was fun. Janet and I had a great time, I'm sure the SG team leaders did but they all forgave me. Do you want to see the pictures?" Sam asked.  
  
"You have pictures?" Daniel questioned. "I thought everything was classified."  
  
"Janet and I may have a few stills for gaining cooperation purposes. I'll be back in a minute." She went out to her car and returned with her laptop. She booted it up and found the folder and went through multiple levels of security to access the pictures. "Here you go. I'll just go and check what we're having for dinner." Sam mumbled to herself as she took the food out of the fridge and loaded it onto a tray. "I'll be outside." She said carrying the tray out to the barbeque.  
  
The door rang. Jacob got up and answered it.  
  
"Jacob." Cassie smiled. "It's been a while."  
  
"How you doing kiddo? Enjoy the basketball?"  
  
"It was good. Where's Sam I need to ask her something?"  
  
"In the garden barbequing."  
  
"Thanks." Cassie ran out the slide doors into the garden.  
  
"I brought dessert." Janet said. "I'll just put it in the kitchen." Jacob closed the door and waited. "What happened in there?" Janet asked as she joined the others on the couch.  
  
"Jack and Sam had a food fight." Daniel informed her.  
  
"I see and why is Sam barbequing I thought Jack invited us over so he could cook." Janet inquired.  
  
"It's punishment for Sam tipping a bag of flour over Jack's head. He's taking a shower, while we show Jacob the stills of phase two."  
  
"Is letting Sam cook a good idea? I really don't want to fill the infirmary with people with food poisoning I need a night off." Janet asked.  
  
"It might have to do with her making a comment about Jack burning the food as well." Jacob added. "Can you ask why you're not more surprised about them having a food fight?"  
  
"Nothing with those two surprises me. Just think of it as flirting kindergarten style. I'll go and make sure we're all standing in the morning." She got up and went to join Sam and Cassie in the garden. 


	10. Phase Four G

"A food fight, Sam?" Janet questioned.  
  
"He started it by throwing peanuts at me. I had to defend myself." Sam protest prodding a piece of chicken.  
  
"It's a little immature isn't it?"  
  
"I think it only got immature when I dumped the flour on his head. A girl can only have so many peanuts thrown at her." Cassie smiled. "Are we going to tell them?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yeah. I brought the invitations with me."  
  
"Invitations?" Janet questioned.  
  
"Cass." Sam prompted.  
  
"We're throwing General Hammond a birthday party in an upper part of the base on Saturday night. Sam and Jack helped me organise it. We're having a chocolate cake and a Texas cowboy theme."  
  
"Well that explains the cryptic messages."  
  
"Invitations are going out on Monday, but we're trying to keep it a surprise. General Ryan already cleared it and Colonel O'Neill has got an authorisation for the rest of it sorted." Sam expanded.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"What are you guys looking at? It's supposed to be our night off." Jack said as he came back rubbing his hair dry with a towel.  
  
"Jacob was just looking at the equation we can't solve." Daniel covered clicking a button to get rid of the image on the screen.  
  
"Any luck?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Did I hear Cassie and Janet arrive?" Jack asked.  
  
"They're in the garden making sure we don't get food poisoning." Jack nodded.  
  
"Did she really almost burn her kitchen down?" Jack asked Jacob.  
  
"Yes. Although she and her room mate weren't overly worried they had a house full of firemen."  
  
"I think Sam is in the wrong line of work if she has a thing for men in uniform." Daniel joked.  
  
"Yeah, difficult to find one of those on a military base right Jack." Jacob added.  
  
"Yeah, she'd have to step all of . . . three feet." He smiled and looked out at the women gathered around his barbeque. "So Teal'c how does it feel to be given a reward for your efforts."  
  
"The only reward I require O'Neill is that Jaffa become free from slavery to false gods."  
  
"Amen to that." Jacob said.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Can I ask you both a question?" Cassie said.  
  
"Sure honey." Janet smiled at her.  
  
"Is it really a good idea to leave four men in a house which has beer in it?"  
  
"Teal'c's symbiote means he can't get drunk. Selmac takes pretty good care of Jacob. Daniel and Jack on the other hand. Sam?"  
  
"Daniel can only take a few, and the Colonel lets just you don't want to see him when he's drunk. He gets very umm Janet what's the word?"  
  
"Worse." Janet offered.  
  
"Worse?" Cassie questioned.  
  
"You see Cass, how Colonel O'Neill is when he's drunk depends on his mood before he got drunk. If he was in a good mood and jokey beforehand he gets happier and starts telling even more jokes, which can be quite entertaining. If he was in a bad mood beforehand he becomes depressed and angry with everyone. Then it's best to avoid him. But it's also usually when he shows up at my door."  
  
"And what do you do with him then?"  
  
"If he's relatively sober, I drive him home but if he's not I let him sleep it off on the couch. One thing I've learnt from our off world camping trips never wake him up when he's asleep unless it's an emergency or his watch, he gets cranky and cranky Colonel's are not good right Janet."  
  
"Yes." Janet agreed. "Especially when he's stuck in the infirmary. Sam you might want to turn those over." Janet pointed to the barbeque.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"I suppose I should go and say hello." Jack said.  
  
"Take them a drink." Daniel suggested. Jack headed to the fridge and grabbed a few bottles of beer and a can of cola for Cassie. He stepped out onto the deck.  
  
"So has she burnt anything yet?" Jack called.  
  
"Jack." Cassie smiled.  
  
"Hi, hey Janet."  
  
"Hi Jack. I think someone needs to tidy your kitchen." Janet smiled.  
  
"It was until someone decided that throwing flour was a good idea." Sam hid a smile and prodded the food. "I brought you all a drink." He held out the bottles of beer to Sam and Janet then handed Cass the can. "So what are we all talking about out here?"  
  
"Party plans." Cassie said. "Why what were you all talking about in there?"  
  
"Jacob was telling us that Sam has a thing for firemen."  
  
"Who doesn't?" Janet said before she and Sam cracked up with laughter.  
  
"What did I tell you about giggling Carter?" Jack asked.  
  
"Sorry sir." Sam said biting her lip. "So did you come to take over the cooking?"  
  
"No, it's a woman's job to feed their hungry men." He said with a serious face.  
  
"Cass, do you want to help out here?" Sam asked.  
  
"Sure." She stood on tip toes and clipped Jack around the back of his head.  
  
"Hey." He said rubbing the back of his head. "Whatcha do that for?"  
  
"It was a sexist comment sir. Cassie can't get in trouble for assaulting a higher ranking officer."  
  
"If you talk to Daniel he'll tell you it's historically accurate."  
  
"It maybe, but we live in an equal opportunities society sir. There's laws and everything."  
  
"Really and here I was thinking that we lived in England in the 1890's."  
  
"I know I've been to the past and I know I've been to the future but I'm pretty sure I've never been to England. Am I right Janet?"  
  
"About the past and the future yes. England you'd have to ask Jacob."  
  
"As Jacob what?" Jacob said coming to join them.  
  
"Dad have I ever been to England in the last thirty odd years or in the 1890's?"  
  
"No. Why?" Jacob replied.  
  
"Colonel O'Neill said he thought we lived in England in the 1890's. Just checking."  
  
"Funny." Jack stated.  
  
"How's the food coming? Teal'c's hungry."  
  
"Shouldn't be much longer. We need some plates though."  
  
"I'll take care of that." Jacob said and turned. "Daniel, we need plates." In his loudest voice.  
  
"Yep. Coming." Daniel yelled back. Jacob turned to face the group.  
  
"What? You didn't think I made General by asking people to do things nicely did you." A minute later Daniel and Teal'c joined them carrying a stack of plates and cutlery.  
  
"So what did we miss?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Jack seems to be having a problem with which century and country he's living in." Jacob informed him.  
  
"Really?" Daniel asked. "Janet do you think we should get him to the infirmary?" He managed straight faced.  
  
"Enough already. What is it pick on Jack night?"  
  
"I'm sure we could declare it Pick on Jack night if you like." Cassie teased. "But I'd rather eat."  
  
"Well if everyone is certain that I'm not going to give them food poisoning. It's ready." "I think we're just going to have to trust you. Teal'c you want to go first." Jack slapped Teal'c on the back.  
  
"As you wish O'Neill." Teal'c took a plate and handed it to Sam who filled it with food. He took a corn on the cob and bit into it. "It is very good Major Carter."  
  
"Thank you Teal'c. I think my work here is done." She took a plate for herself and went and sat on the deck.  
  
"Not bad." Jacob said. "Not bad at all."  
  
"Dad, I've tried Tok'ra food it's not good, I even have Jolinar's memories of it. It doesn't improve."  
  
"I've tried but you can't get the Tok'ra rallied round for cookery classes." He joked.  
  
"I'd like to see you try." Jack joked.  
  
"Cass now might be a good time." Sam pointed out.  
  
"Daniel, Teal'c I need you to keep Saturday night free, we're throwing General Hammond a Texas themed surprise birthday party."  
  
"So this is why you've been sneaking around. It'll give Teal'c a chance to wear his new cowboy hat."  
  
"Indeed."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Dad, we'd leave it's getting late." Sam said to her father. Janet and Cassie had left an hour before.  
  
"You can always stay the night there's plenty of room." Jack offered.  
  
"It's nice of you to offer sir but if we stayed you'd make me clean the kitchen up in the morning and I promised I would take Cassie shopping in the morning for an outfit for the party."  
  
"Thanks for inviting me Jack. It's been interesting." Jacob stated. Sam handed him the car keys.  
  
"You know you're welcome anytime Jacob, just don't bring any of your Tok'ra friends. No offence to Selmak."  
  
"She doesn't take any." He said after a second. "She says it has been a most enlightening experience."  
  
"I'll just be a minute Dad, you go and get the car started I just want to say goodbye to the guys."  
  
"Okay Sammie. Goodbye Daniel Teal'c." He called. A chorus of drunken goodbyes came from Daniel and a more solemn goodbye from Teal'c.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay taking Daniel home Teal'c?" Sam asked.  
  
"Indeed I am Major Carter." He replied.  
  
"Okay. Guys I'll see you on Monday and Daniel drink plenty of water before you go to bed. Night."  
  
"Night Sam." Daniel managed. Jack walked her to the door.  
  
"I had fun, thanks sir. It's been a good day."  
  
"It has. Even if I have to clean up tomorrow."  
  
"Well good night sir." She stood on tip toes and kissed his cheek. "And thanks again for all the nice shiny medal."  
  
"You're welcome. I'll see you Monday." He closed the door even more confused than when they had been having the food fight.  
  
"Jack and Sam sitting in a tree. K-I-SS- I - N -G." Daniel sang drunkenly.  
  
"That's enough Danny-boy. Let's get you into the car so Teal'c can drive you home so you can throw up in your own bathroom in the morning." Jack said pulling Daniel to his feet. 


	11. Phase Four H

"Sam I think we have a problem." Cassie said as they came back to Sam's car after shopping all morning.  
  
"What's wrong Cass?" Sam asked.  
  
"You're tyre's flat." She pointed out the rear tyre which was as flat as a pancake.  
  
"We'll just have to change it then." She hit the key to switch the alarm off on her car and opened the trunk. She moved some things aside then cursed silently under breath.  
  
"What's wrong?" Cassie asked looking at Sam's face.  
  
"It took the spare tyre out last week when I had to move something big and I didn't put it back in."  
  
"Call Jack." Cassie suggested.  
  
"Why would I want to call Colonel O'Neill so that he can make jokes at me being unprepared. What we need is a tow truck."  
  
"It'll take hours for a tow truck to get here and will cost you loads of money. If you call Jack he can come and pick us up, he can drop me off at home then take you back and get your spare tyre and come back and he can help you change it."  
  
"I suppose it make sense." Sam took her cell phone out of her bag and dialled Jack's home phone number.  
  
"O'Neill." He answered after three rings.  
  
"Sir, it's Major Carter."  
  
"Hey Carter, how is the shopping going?" He asked.  
  
"We've finished. I need a favour sir." She said.  
  
"What do you need?"  
  
"How do you feel about rescuing two damsels in distress?" Sam asked winking at Cassie.  
  
"What happened?" Sam heard a clunk as Jack's feet hit the floor.  
  
"My car has a flat tyre and I took the spare out a few weeks ago and forgot to put it back in, so we're kind of stranded here."  
  
"And you'd like me to come and pick you up?" he finished for her.  
  
"If you're not busy sir. We could wait for tow truck but it'll be hours." She said hoping to add another incentive.  
  
"I'll be there in twenty minutes."  
  
"Thanks sir. I'll owe you."  
  
"Just think of as repayment for all the time you've saved my six. I'll see you soon." He rang off.  
  
"He'll be twenty minutes." Sam told Cassie. "Do you want to get some ice- cream while we wait?" She asked. Cassie nodded. Sam locked the trunk and set the alarm again.  
  
~ ~  
  
When Jack arrived Cassie and Sam were sat on the hood of her car, singing TV theme tunes in between mouthfuls of ice-cream.  
  
"I see you damsels are in so much distress."  
  
"We had to keep up our spirits in this time of travesty sir while us fair damsels waited for our knight to arrive on his white steed." Sam said in her most innocent voice.  
  
"Cute Carter, real cute. So did you ladies need a ride somewhere?"  
  
"Thanks Jack. Can you drop me home first? Sally is coming over later and I have to call Mom at the base first." Cassie asked.  
  
"Sure thing Cass." He smiled at her.  
  
"Good then you can take Sam to get her tyre and bring her back and help her change it." Cassie stated.  
  
"I think Sam was kill me if I even implied that she couldn't change a tyre herself. But if needs must." He shot Sam a cheeky grin.  
  
"And here I was thinking the age of chivalry was dead." Sam said in a mock southern accent.  
  
"I always knew there was a reason that every keeps saying that you're way smarter than me."  
  
"You're smart in the ways that count sir. Just not when it comes to scientific matters."  
  
"Why shucks ma'am you say the nicest things?" He said flicking the brim of his baseball cap up in a Texan accent he'd learnt from General Hammond. "So ladies may I offer you a ride?"  
  
"What do you say Cass?"  
  
"Let's go home." She smiled as they piled into Jack's SUV.  
  
"So where did you stash your Dad?" Jack asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.  
  
"He went to visit a couple of old friends who live in the area. Otherwise I would have called him."  
  
"So I'm just an after thought, I'm crushed."  
  
"Actually calling you was Cassie's idea. She didn't want to wait around for a tow truck."  
  
"Nice to feel needed Carter." He joked.  
  
"We'll always need you around sir." She said then paused. "The Asguard like you for some reason, they only want me for my 'dumb ideas'."  
  
"Yeah, thanks again for blowing up the 'O'Neill'."  
  
"All in a days work sir."  
  
"The 'O'Neill'?" Cassie questioned.  
  
"The Asguard were building this new ship called the O'Neill, to help them fight the Replicators." Sam told her. Cassie was the only teenager on the planet with that high a security clearance. But since technically she was an alien and knew all about the Stargate she was granted the clearance and the ability to go to the base. "So while Colonel O'Neill and the rest of SG- 1 was off fighting the Replicators on Earth, I went with Thor to help them, you see Asguard thinking has evolved way beyond the process of human thinking, so they needed someone who could see things in a simpler way."  
  
"I see." Cassie nodded.  
  
"Because the O'Neill was the newest and most advanced ship they had and the Replicators wanted to eat it we sent it into hyperspace where the shields on the Replicators ships wouldn't work and blew it up destroying the other ships and protecting the Asguard home world."  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Hey it's not cool having your namesake blown up." Jack protested.  
  
"After Thor and I told him what we did he invited Thor to go fishing with him. You see the Colonel keeps talking about how big the fish are in the lake by his cabin, but I've been reliably informed that there aren't actually any fish in the lake and haven't been for years."  
  
"And how exactly do you know that?" Jack asked.  
  
"I'm a scientist I'm good at research. Matt, Helen and I had a nice chat on the phone, why do you think I keep saying no when you ask me. Now if there were fish I might say yes, but what is the point of sitting around with no chance of a reward at the end of it seems a bit pointless."  
  
"One, it's not about the fish, it's about the act of fishing relaxing without having to think about the real world, galaxy and all the problems it creates and two you called Matt and Helen?"  
  
"We work for the government they keep tabs on everyone, they're the closest people to your cabin, so in a case of an emergency and we can't get hold of you, we can call them, besides someone has to check up on the fact that you didn't drown in that lake. I call them every time you go up there; they just never tell you about it because I asked them not to."  
  
"Keeping tabs on your CO could amount to stalking you know there Carter."  
  
"Someone has to keep tabs on all you guys. You're all a danger to yourselves when you're left alone."  
  
"Is that right?" He smiled.  
  
"Err, Jack you missed the turning for my street." Cassie pointed out.  
  
"Sorry Cass." He pulled a U turn and drove her back to Janet's house. "Are you going to be okay by yourself?" He asked as she exited his car.  
  
"I'll be fine. Sally will be here in an hour anyway. Thanks for taking me shopping Sam."  
  
"You're welcome Cass. I'll call you later in the week about the final preparations. We should be back on Wednesday at the latest hopefully. Luckily we've been on relatively simple missions lately."  
  
"Be careful and have a nice weekend."  
  
"She is really growing up." Jack commented as he pulled away.  
  
"Kids have a tendency to do that. It wasn't like she could stay the little girl we rescued for ever."  
  
"It would be nice if she could." He muttered.  
  
"That's sweet sir. It's nice she gets the over protective male figures in her life too."  
  
"Too?" Jack questioned.  
  
"After Mom died it was just me in a house with two men. Any guy who ever thought about giving me a second look was promptly put in his place."  
  
"It seems like your Dad's mellowed a bit since then."  
  
"I think he only realised I'd was grown up enough to make my own decisions after I broke off my engagement to Jonas. Selmak helps."  
  
"What did you ever see in that guy?" Jack asked.  
  
"At the time he was charming and exciting and he made me feel good about myself. And like I told Daniel I have a soft spot for the lunatic fringe. But then things changed."  
  
"What happened? I mean I knew you were engaged for three months and then you broke it off you never told me why."  
  
"He got drunk and he hit me. I wasn't going to stick around with some who did respect me or love me enough not to hurt me. So I gave him back his ring and moved out and got a better job at the Pentagon working on the Stargate project and you know the rest. I think all the special ops missions he'd been on had started to affect him and I was too close to the situation to see it."  
  
"Why didn't you tell anyone before he joined the SGC?" Jack asked.  
  
"He passed the psych evaluation and it had been over two years since I'd seen him, I figured he might have changed. But I was wrong obviously, the special ops missions had gotten to him more than any of us knew. Why do you think I keep such a close eye on you guys?"  
  
"Because we're all so darn cute?" Jack said playfully.  
  
"There's that too, but no because I know you all so well we have to trust each other with our lives, we're family and I guess my maternal instinct kicks in to need to protect you all and make sure you're all safe and not going deranged on me. Why do you think we volunteered Daniel to come and see when you pulled your black ops stunt last year?"  
  
"Because he drew the short straw?"  
  
"No, because he's known you the longest and I knew I couldn't get through to you, so I would have probably started crying in the middle of your house. Not a good thing to do in front of your CO even if they are one of your best friends. Plus he knew how I reacted when you were stuck on Edora."  
  
"How did you react? I know you built the particle beam thingy and you worked really hard on it but no one actually told me everything."  
  
"Can we just change the subject sir? How are the latest hockey score?" She asked.  
  
"Sam, you know you can talk to me about anything right?"  
  
"I know sir. There are just some things I'm not ready to talk about. You just drove past my house sir."  
  
"It seems I have a habit of doing that today." He reversed down the road and stopped.  
  
"I'll just go and put the bags in the house and get the tyre. I won't be a minute." She left the car as quickly as she could. Once in the house she picked up the phone and dialled the base.  
  
"Fraiser." Janet answered.  
  
"Hey Janet it's Sam do you have a minute to talk?"  
  
"Sure. I'm in my office anyway. So did you and Cassie have a successful shopping trip?" She asked.  
  
"Yes. We just dropped her off. She's going to call you before Sally gets there."  
  
"That's good. But you said we?"  
  
"My car had a flat and the spare tyre is in my garage. Colonel O'Neill came and picked us up and he's going to take me back to change it in a minute he's waiting outside now."  
  
"So if he's waiting outside why are you calling me?" Janet inquired.  
  
"Did you ever say something you wished you hadn't?"  
  
"What did you say?" She asked.  
  
"I said something about how I reacted when he was on Edora and why Daniel was the one to go round when he pulled the Black op thing."  
  
"Maybe you should tell him the truth. It'll do you good to get it out there. No secrets."  
  
"It'll just complicate things. Friends is easier to deal with."  
  
"Sam honey I don't think it is. It just seems like it is at the moment, but it'll eat you up inside. You two have gotten closer in the last two weeks, don't lose that. Love is difficult enough to find, don't lose it because you want to hide behind some regulations thought up by men who probably thought women shouldn't be in uniform anyway."  
  
"So what do you think I should say?" Sam asked.  
  
"The truth. Sam I've got to go, SG-4 just got back."  
  
"I'll talk to you soon. Thanks Janet." Sam hung up and sighed. He'd be getting fed up of waiting by now. She locked the door again and quickly got the tyre and put it in the boot of the SUV. "Sorry I took so long sir."  
  
"Don't worry, I wasn't about to send out a search party yet. I might have found a UAV for a little recon mission." He joked. Sam smiled. "Hey is everything okay?"  
  
"It's fine sir. I'm sorry I interrupted your weekend."  
  
"It's no hassle I was only going to watch a couple of hockey games I had taped while we were off world. But I can do that anytime. Besides there's something very noble about rescuing two beautiful damsels in distress, I don't know what it is yet but I'll figure it out."  
  
They continued the ride back to the parking lot making small talk. But Sam wasn't really committed.  
  
"So how long will it take you to change the tyre?" Jack asked.  
  
"What are you going to time me?" She asked.  
  
"Sure. If you can do it in less than five minutes I'll buy you lunch if you take longer than five minutes you can buy me lunch."  
  
"Deal. I hope your wallet is full sir, I'm feeling very hungry all of a sudden." She said brightening up.  
  
"That's better a smile. Go ahead, I'll let you get the jack out first and everything."  
  
"Thank you sir." A few minutes later she was ready.  
  
"On your marks, set go." He said and set his watch going. Three minutes and fifty seven seconds later she was done. "Wow. Even I can't change a tyre in less than five minutes."  
  
"Dad wouldn't let me learn to drive until I could change a tyre in less than five minute, check the oil and change the spark plugs. I can take the engine apart and put it back together now. So you said something about lunch."  
  
"I think I'm going to have check with Jacob if there is anything else I should know before I bet with you again."  
  
"What that I can pick locks, I have a motorbike, I am a natural blonde and I think that you have." She stopped when she realised what she had been about to blurt out.  
  
"You think I have a what?" He pressed.  
  
"Let's just say it would be better if I'd stopped at being a natural blonde."  
  
"Come on Carter you can't stop there. It's just plain unfair. You'll have me wondering about it all through lunch and it'll ruin my appetite."  
  
"Colonel the only things that ruin your appetite are MRE's, Tok'ra food and if you'd tried Asguard food as well. I honestly don't know how they survive on something that tastes worse than cardboard."  
  
"And when did you eat cardboard?" He asked.  
  
"I didn't eat it exactly I more sucked the rainwater out of it so I wouldn't dehydrate."  
  
"Couldn't you have just got a drink like normal people?" He asked.  
  
"It's difficult to do when you're hiding to keep from getting shot and you're on the edge of the Iraqi desert sir." She said as they walked to the restaurant in the mall.  
  
"What were you doing on the edge of the Iraqi desert?" He asked.  
  
"Hiding so not to get shot by the Iraqi's who didn't like Americans."  
  
"Yeah, I got that part. But what were you doing in Iraq in the first place?" He asked.  
  
"Do you remember the first day we met and I was spouting off?"  
  
"Yeah. What about it?" He asked.  
  
"I mentioned that I'd logged over a hundred hours in enemy airspace during the Gulf War."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Let's say I logged a hundred and three hours in the air and three days on the ground after my plane was shot down." She waited for the restaurant hostess to greet her. "Two please."  
  
"You're plane got shot down?" He said in disbelief.  
  
"That tends to happen when they shoot big honking guns at it." She said as they were shown to their seats.  
  
"How did you get out?" He asked.  
  
"Special ops team were sent in after us. It's how I met Jonas sort of. Chris had a badly broken leg so we spent three days and two and a half nights huddled in sand hiding from the enemy, when the special ops team came to find us we didn't have any weapons so I threw sand in their eyes and stole a couple of guns. Chris and I pointed them at them until they identified themselves. When we got back to the temporary base, Jonas was the one who yelled at me for attacking his men, and then he asked me out. I told him it was appropriate while we were still in the middle of the war. A year later he turned up on my doorstep and said the offer was still open. We dated while he was around and not off on missions, you know the rest."  
  
"I didn't realise you'd been on the ground during the conflict."  
  
"It's in my personnel record, which you probably read at some point." He sat looking at her. "I'll have a diet soda please." She said when the waitress appeared. "Colonel?" He didn't reply. "Just bring him a regular soda. Two Medium steaks with baked potatoes please. Thank you." She looked at him, he still made no movement. She lent across and whispered in his ear. "Jaffa Kree!"  
  
"What?" He said startled.  
  
"Nice to see you're still with me sir. Off anywhere nice?" She asked.  
  
"Sorry, just thinking back to the Gulf War. At least you had a better time than I did."  
  
"I know. I was lucky." She smiled.  
  
"How do you know?" He asked.  
  
"Janet got permission from General Hammond to tell me, she wanted me to keep an eye on you after we rescued Dad from hell. She wasn't quite sure how you were taking it."  
  
"She asked me to keep an eye on you too after that."  
  
"I know. She asked Daniel too. I bounce back, I always do. Sometimes it takes longer than others."  
  
"You're lucky. But there are some things you can't bounce back from."  
  
"I know, you just learn to deal with them and move on the best you can. Okay this is getting sombre, change of topic needed. "  
  
"You never did tell me what you thought I had."  
  
"Your drinks." The waitress said placing two glasses in front of them. "Your meals with be another fifteen minutes.  
  
"Thank you." Sam said.  
  
"Meals?"  
  
"I ordered you a steak, while you were in a daze. I didn't know what you wanted to drink so I ordered you a soda."  
  
"Thanks. Sorry."  
  
"Don't worry, you get the same look after about twenty minutes of one of Daniel's briefings. It's kind of endearing."  
  
"You think I'm endearing. But what else?"  
  
"I'm beginning to think you have an ego that needs to be stoked sir. Let's put it this way the end of that sentence would get me into more trouble than it's worth."  
  
"Okay, I'll drop it for now. So what did you buy to wear at the party?"  
  
"That's for me to know and you to wait until Saturday to find out sir." 


	12. Phase Four I

"Thank you for lunch." Sam said as they walked out of the restaurant. "It was fun."  
  
"You're welcome. So what are your plans for the rest of the day?" He asked.  
  
"I thought I'd go home and catch up on some journal articles I should read and then probably do some paperwork."  
  
"You're way smarter than those people. So I'm kidnapping you for the afternoon." He said taking hold of her wrist.  
  
"Kidnapping me? To do what?" He asked.  
  
"We're going to have fun. I no it's a strange concept when we're not talking about one of your doohickeys and all. But we're going to try whether you like it or not."  
  
"I give in. So what are we going to do?"  
  
"You give in to easily. First we're going to burn off lunch." He said taking her hand and almost pulling her across the mall.  
  
"Ja.Colonel where are we going?" She asked, he stopped and she bumped into him.  
  
"What did you just say?" He asked.  
  
"I asked where we were going?"  
  
"No before that you said Jac. See you can almost say it if you try. Jack. Say it with me. Jack."  
  
"I don't think so sir. Nice try though. So where are we going?"  
  
"I think we need some target practice." He stated.  
  
"Don't we get enough of that at work."  
  
"Yeah, but this is more fun. Laserquest means you can't get hurt, well not really except if you run to walls that hurts."  
  
"I would expect so. Come on. Let's go."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"I can't believe you beat me." Jack said. "I have way more experience at this than you."  
  
"Maybe I'm just that good. It comes from learning from the best."  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment." Jack smiled.  
  
"Actually I was talking about Dad." She bit her lip to keep from laughing as he frowned. "But you're not bad either." She kissed his cheek. "So what now?"  
  
"Movie?" He offered.  
  
"Only if you buy me a box of milk duds." She teased.  
  
"You know you're a hard woman to please."  
  
"At least don't want popcorn too." She smiled.  
  
"Deal. A movie and milk duds. Then I'm sending you home before your Dad starts to worry."  
  
"Dad knows I can take care of myself. He even thinks one day I might even save the world."  
  
"Really that'll be a hard task to accomplish all by yourself and what are you going to save it from exactly?" He joked.  
  
"Frog infestation." She stated adamantly. "There are way too many frogs for my liking."  
  
"I like that setting your aspirations high. You can start with frog spawn and work your way up."  
  
"My thinking exactly. Then I thought I might start on fish and the Simpsons."  
  
"Hey, no way lady. How about Danny's rocks?"  
  
"They're artefacts sir."  
  
"Same difference. Most of them are made from rock like materials, they just happen to have writing and little pictures on."  
  
"Good point. But I think Daniel would prefer it if you called them artefacts anyway."  
  
"Maybe I will on the day I start calling neutrinos neutrinos and not Nintendo's."  
  
"See I knew you were a big fake." She said with a smile.  
  
"That's a not a nice thing to say about your CO there Carter. If people underestimate you, it can give you an advantage. Besides the combined IQ of the base takes out the rest of the state of Colorado. So what do you want to see?"  
  
"Anything with a little bit of action."  
  
"So you're not a fan of romantic comedies?" He asked.  
  
"I don't mind them, but it's the only thing Cassie ever hires so it can get a bit much. Besides you need a few car chases in your life every now and again. You pick I just have to go to the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute."  
  
A few minutes later she return. Jack held out a box to her.  
  
"Milk duds as requested."  
  
"Thank you so what are we seeing?" She asked.  
  
"It's a surprise. We can got straight in though. Can't miss the trailers, they're the best bit."  
  
"I thought the film was the best bit?"  
  
"Na, trailers mean you get to see the best bits of the film, without having to pay to go and see them. If you like the trailer you go see the film."  
  
"Thanks for that pearl of wisdom sir."  
  
"Switch off your cell phone." He whispered as they made their way to their seats.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Every now through out the film Jack would sneakily try to steal a milk dud but always noticed and didn't say a word. By the time the film was three - quarters over Sam's throat was dry. She lent across and whispered to him.  
  
"Colonel, can I have some of your drink?" He didn't respond. "Colonel." She asked again. She took a deep. "Jack." He handed over the drink without question.  
  
"See that wasn't too hard." He whispered to her.  
  
"Sorry sir. One time deal. Thanks." She handed back the drink.  
  
"Them's the breaks." He smiled and settled to watch the end of the film.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"That was fun. I've had a good day sir. Thank you." Sam smiled as they exited the theatre. She grabbed her cell phone and switched it back on, it rang instantly. "Carter." She said answering it. "Sorry sir, I was at a movie.. I'll be there in about twenty minutes. I'll do that. Yes sir." She hung up.  
  
"The base?" Jack asked.  
  
"Seriously they're worse than children. I leave the base for the day and they break something. They've been trying to call me for the last hour."  
  
"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked.  
  
"Er, no. But can you do me a favour?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Can you go to my house and keep Dad entertained he should be back by now. I'm not sure how long I'll be."  
  
"Yeah. I'm sure we'll find something to talk about."  
  
"Hey no digging for information and I may reconsider the name thing everyone in a while."  
  
"Then I guess I'll have to put up with being called Colonel or Sir." He teased. "I'll see you later."  
  
"Yeah thanks."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"General, what seems to be the problem?" Sam asked as she entered the control room.  
  
"Sgt?" He asked Davis.  
  
"The targeting interface seems to be out of alignment. The chevrons enter but the wrong one appears on the gate."  
  
"How many are they out by?" She asked.  
  
"Two." Sgt Davis replied.  
  
"Left or right?" She asked.  
  
"Left."  
  
"Shouldn't take long to fix sir." Sam said to General Hammond. "How many teams off world?"  
  
"Two, but they're on safe planets. Mineral surveys."  
  
"Sgt can you get me the tool box. I need to remove a panel."  
  
"Yes Major." Sam pushed the chair out of the way.  
  
"If you'll excuse me sir."  
  
"I'll be in my office." Hammond started up the stairs. "Oh Major, I don't suppose you've seen Colonel O'Neill?"  
  
"He's at my house, keeping Dad entertained sir."  
  
"Thank you." Sam lay down on the floor under the console.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Hey Dad. I'm home." Sam called as she entered her house.  
  
"In here." She heard Jacob call. She walked to her living room. Jacob and Jack were lazing on the couch with their feet propped on the table watching a hockey game.  
  
"Having fun there?" She asked leaning against the door.  
  
"No they're losing." Jack moaned. "So did you fix the problem?"  
  
"Yeah. Good thing two or we'd have ended two step to the left of where we were supposed to be. By the way did General Hammond get a hold of you?"  
  
"No. Why?"  
  
"He asked me if I knew where you were. I thought he'd call here."  
  
"He would have called if it had been important. So are you coming to watch with us?" He asked sipping a beer that Jacob had obviously given him.  
  
"I'll change first." She returned a few minutes later after a quick shower, climbed over Jack's legs and sat between them with a beer in her hand. "So did you have a nice day Dad?"  
  
"Yeah caught up with a few friends, couldn't tell them anything about my life the usual. You?"  
  
"I took Cassie shopping this morning, but ended up with a flat tyre so Colonel O'Neill came and rescued us as the spare tyre was in the garage. He took me back to the car and challenged me about how long it would take me to change it. He lost so he bought me lunch. Then insisted I couldn't spend the afternoon working so he challenged me to a game of Laserquest and took me to a movie, before I got called back to the base."  
  
"That's nice. Did you used to be the base Laserquest champion when you were seventeen? I remember lots of disappointed airmen moaning about how they were beaten by a girl until someone pointed out you were my daughter."  
  
"Yeah, well Colonel O'Neill didn't know that until you just told him." Sam shot Jack a smile.  
  
"Maybe I should have asked Jacob about those little things you didn't tell me." Jack said.  
  
"What you didn't? I thought that would have been the first thing you asked."  
  
"You said you'd work on the name thing if I didn't. I figured you'd get round to tell me eventually."  
  
"That was very presumptuous of you sir." She smiled.  
  
"Yeah well. Watch the hockey game."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"He's asleep." Jacob said as he got up a few hours later.  
  
"Yeah. Leave him where he is, I'll get him a blanket. He'll wake up in a couple hours and either get more comfortable or go home."  
  
"Sound like he does that a lot." He commented.  
  
"He has bad days like the rest of us. He gets drunk and sleeps it off on the couch. Leave him be."  
  
"You're a good friend to him Sam, always there when he needs you."  
  
"We need him as much as he needs us. We have this kind of symbiotic relationship. We don't work as well as we do together when we're apart. We're good at rallying around for each other."  
  
"That wasn't what I meant but it doesn't matter. Goodnight."  
  
"Night Dad." She quickly got a blanket and laid it over him. "Sweet dreams Jack." 


	13. Phase Four J

"Morning sir." Sam said as he woke the next morning. She'd been curled up in a chair watching him sleep while sipping a cup of coffee.  
  
"Morning." He yawned.  
  
"I made you some coffee." She pointed out the cup of steaming coffee that was sat on the table.  
  
"Thanks. Sorry for falling asleep on you." He sat up and grabbed the cup.  
  
"No sweat, it's not like you've not done it before. Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Yeah, your couch is remarkably more comfortable than most places we sleep."  
  
"It's a prerequisite for a couch, the ability to be able curl up on it comfortably and that it matches the rest of the décor. Beside it helps when your CO falls asleep on it."  
  
"I tend to do this a lot don't I?"  
  
"I don't mind, it's what friends are for. Did you want some breakfast?" She got up, her baggy cotton pyjama pants settled into their original position rather than scrunched around her legs. She tugged at the bottom of her tank top so it covered her stomach.  
  
"Sure. What are you making?" He asked.  
  
"You trust me to make breakfast without poisoning you?" She asked.  
  
"I survived the barbeque I think I can handle breakfast."  
  
"Scrambled eggs, bacon and toast okay?" She asked as she moved to the kitchen.  
  
"Sure." He said as he followed her. "So Jacob up?"  
  
"Yeah. He went out about an hour ago. Selmak means he doesn't need as much sleep as the rest of us. He kind of gets restless, so he went for a walk. I think he just likes the principal of being back on Earth."  
  
"Well who wouldn't if they lived in tunnels most of the time." He joked.  
  
"The SGC is a bit like that. I mean sometimes it's nice to go to green planets with lots of trees so just to get out of the base." She said leaning against the counter while she waited for the pan to heat up.  
  
"You know you could leave anyway. You don't have to work twenty hour days."  
  
"You know, you wouldn't know I was at the base so if you weren't there so much yourself sir."  
  
"Yeah, well I'm old, I have no life and I have lots of paperwork."  
  
"It's not that much paperwork sir." She said biting her lip to hide a smile. He shot her a glare. "And you're not that old either. Teal'c is at least twice as old as you and he's in great shape."  
  
"That definitely makes me feel better. Beside which Teal'c has junior to take care of him."  
  
"And we have Janet who'd like it if we didn't get shot and die so often."  
  
"Well I tried to talk to the System Lords about that but they're really picky about what they put in treaties." Sam tried her hardest to contain a fit of the giggles but couldn't.  
  
"I'm sorry sir." She managed. "I'll be okay in a minute." She said still giggling.  
  
"That's a nice sound to hear first thing in the morning." Jacob said walking in. "Morning Jack."  
  
"Morning Jacob. Nice walk?"  
  
"Yeah. So what's for breakfast Sammie?" Sam tried to speak but couldn't.  
  
"Hey Carter, remember what I said about giggling?"  
  
"Sorry sir." She tried to contain herself. "Be back." She left the room.  
  
"What is it with you too and the no giggling thing?" Jacob asked.  
  
"Long standing private joke."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Let's just say my sense of humour isn't all it's cracked up to be when I'm freezing to death."  
  
"Ah, Antarctica, hated artic training, got to be worse when you have a broken leg and no idea where you are."  
  
"Tell me about it. Right I'm cooking." He got up and started cooking the breakfast. Sam returned a few minutes after gaining her composure and getting dressed.  
  
"Better now?" Jack asked.  
  
"Yes sir." Sam said sitting down. "Sorry about before, I can usually contain it."  
  
"No problems. Jacob, how do you like your bacon?"  
  
"Doesn't matter as long as it's cooked." Jack nodded.  
  
Half way through breakfast the phone rang.  
  
"Excuse me." Sam said getting up and taking the cordless phone into her bedroom.  
  
"So, better than Tok'ra breakfast?" Jack asked.  
  
"Yes. So what've you got planned to do today?" Jacob asked.  
  
"What I planned to yesterday before I got a call for a rescue. Mow the lawn; pay a few bills that aren't direct debit."  
  
"Then prepare to save the world again tomorrow?" Jacob prompted.  
  
"More mineral surveys and rocks for Daniel to look at. It's been nice and quiet, no Jaffa trying to kill us. Or any mission that seem like suicide missions."  
  
"Sounds like you miss them."  
  
"There are only so many times you can hear lectures about new races or the levels of naqquadah found off world. But I wouldn't miss it for the world."  
  
"Didn't think you would for a minute. So are you looking forward to the party?"  
  
"Any party is good for morale. The ball Sam organised a few weeks ago was fun, even if they did make me dance."  
  
"She felt guilty about making us wear heels, so she convinced Hammond that it would be good for us. Although she did cut out early because she had to work early the next day. She made a speech and everything. Everyone forgave her, pretty much instantaneously after she danced with all the team leaders."  
  
"She can be quite enchanting when she wants to be. But most of the time she hides behind military bravado."  
  
"I think we're all a little guilty of that at times. I'll just wait for her to get off the phone then I'd better get going, I've taken up enough of your weekend as it."  
  
"Don't worry about it Jack, any time she spends off the base is good with me. She works too hard as it is."  
  
"Sorry about that. Janet says hi by the way." Sam said as she came back.  
  
"I've got to go." Jack said getting up. "Things to do."  
  
"I'll see you out." Sam walked him to his car. "I had fun yesterday. Thank you sir."  
  
"We should do it again sometime." He hesitated. "Invite Daniel and Teal'c too."  
  
"Yes sir. I'll see you tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your weekend."  
  
"See ya."  
  
"So?" Jacob said as Sam came back and started to eat her now cold eggs.  
  
"So what?"  
  
"Is there something going on I should know about?"  
  
"No that I know of." She shook her head. "So what did you want to do today?"  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"George, do you have a minute?" Jacob said after he had seen SG-1 off the next morning.  
  
"Of course, let's go up to my office."  
  
"George, is there something going on between Jack and Sam?" Jacob asked bluntly.  
  
"Officially, I wouldn't know. SG-1 is still the best team, I have and they are functioning better than ever."  
  
"And unofficially?"  
  
"Dr Fraiser, Teal'c and anyone else Dr Jackson roped in are giving them a nudge in the right direction. We're working on the 'don't ask, don't tell' principal. As long as it doesn't affect their working relationship in a negative manner I have no problem with it, and I have no knowledge of it. They deserve to be happy."  
  
"Do Jack and Sam know that?"  
  
"No. They never asked. If something were to happen one of them would come and tell me. I'll tell them then, until them I have no knowledge of what you're talking about. The President agrees with me, the frat regulations are a grey area when it comes to the SGC. 'Don't ask, don't tell' is the best way to deal with it. Besides if anything did happen in the next six months I would be in for a lot of money."  
  
"There's a pool going?" Jacob questioned.  
  
"There is always a pool going. It just happens this is the longest standing one that hasn't been resolved yet. See Major Ferretti if you want in on it."  
  
"So everyone else knows we're just waiting for them to realise it?"  
  
"Yes. We'll just have to wait and see how things go at my birthday party on Saturday night."  
  
"How did you know about that it was supposed to be a surprise?" Jacob asked.  
  
"Cassandra phoned and told me not to make any plans for Saturday night and Colonel O'Neill asked if he could borrow one of the storage rooms because he wanted to lay out an attack model across the floor so they could plot ways to sneak up on the enemy. It tends to make a General suspicious. Besides why do you think I scheduled all the teams to be on world for the weekend?"  
  
"You'll have to feign shock, this was all Cassie's idea, she roped Jack and Sam in to help. It would be a shame if she thought you knew what was happening before hand."  
  
"I know."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Did you have a nice weekend Jack?" Daniel asked. Teal'c had accompanied Sam so she could do her soil samples. Jack had stayed with Daniel who was in the process of translating a set of Egyptian Hieroglyphs.  
  
"Yeah, not bad." Jack replied noncommittally.  
  
"So what did you do?" Daniel asked scribbling down a few notes.  
  
"I was planning on watch a few hockey games but I got called to rescue damsels in distress."  
  
"Where do you find damsels in distress in this day and age on Earth?"  
  
"The Mall parking lot. Carter had a flat tyre and she'd left the spare in her garage so she called me to pick them up. I took her to get it."  
  
"And you gallantly changed it for her?" Daniel asked looking up at him.  
  
"No. I bet her that she couldn't change it in less than five minutes."  
  
"And she won?"  
  
"Yeah, so I ended up buying her lunch."  
  
"Jacob efforts are still long standing then." Daniel smiled.  
  
"You knew about that?" Jack questioned.  
  
"Yeah, she tells me lots of things over coffee in the middle of the night. I take it she went back to work after that."  
  
"No I made sure she had the day off, she beat me at laserquest and we saw a movie before she was called back to the base. So I went and kept Jacob company until she got home, before falling asleep on her couch."  
  
"Sounds like you had a more interesting weekend than I did. My highlight was getting a paper cut."  
  
"Ouch, they hurt."  
  
"Umm. So do you feel like the Goa'uld's favourite stew for lunch?" He asked getting up from the ground.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The translation it's a recipe. I think if it's for some kind of stew type thing."  
  
"Really? Or are you just trying to be funny."  
  
"No it really is a recipe." Daniel began reading it to Jack. Jack sighed and hit his radio.  
  
"Carter, Teal'c come in."  
  
"Carter here sir."  
  
"Yeah, stop by the local seven eleven on your way back we need some ingredients."  
  
"Could you repeat that sir?"  
  
"Daniel found a recipe for Goa'uld stew. Doesn't sound good, but when in Rome."  
  
"Yes sir. We're on our way back. No naqqudah present."  
  
"Good. O'Neill out." 


	14. Phase Four K

"Unscheduled incoming travellers." Sgt Davis declared as the Stargate started to whirl.  
  
"Are we receiving a signal?" Hammond asked.  
  
"It's SG-1."  
  
"Open the iris." Hammond ordered. Hammond was worried, SG-1 were returning almost a day early from their mission.  
  
"General." Jack said as he strolled through the gate.  
  
"Is everything okay Colonel?" Hammond asked over the microphone.  
  
"Yes sir. We came; we saw and returned with a recipe. Nothing useful." Sam hid a smile at his comments.  
  
"We'll debrief in an hour."  
  
"Yes sir." Jack replied as he handed his gun over.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"So, you said there wasn't anything useful." Hammond said.  
  
"Absolutely not." Jack replied.  
  
"There were no signs of civilisation apart from the ruins and no naqquadah, which matched with the MALP scans." Sam added.  
  
"And your translation Dr Jackson?" Hammond asked.  
  
"Nothing of any use General." Daniel stated.  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't know about that Daniel. Depends on whether you're hungry or not."  
  
"Colonel?" Hammond questioned.  
  
"The translation was some kind of Goa'uld stew sir. We brought a copy back in case you were interested."  
  
"I see. Teal'c would you like to add anything?"  
  
"I have nothing to add General Hammond." Teal'c replied.  
  
"Then that's the end of this debriefing. I'll expect your reports by Friday morning." He paused. "Major Carter."  
  
"Yes sir?" Sam replied.  
  
"Delegate the soil sample analysis I'd like you to spend a few days running an analysis of the gate system after the small problems we've been experience over the last few weeks."  
  
"Yes sir. How long do I have?"  
  
"The last team home is expected back sometime Friday afternoon. You can shut the gate down over the weekend but we'll need it functional again by Wednesday at the latest."  
  
"Yes sir." Sam replied.  
  
"I'm sure you have some translations to work on Dr Jackson, so Teal'c maybe you should assist him and Colonel."  
  
"Yes sir." Jack said.  
  
"Once your paperwork is complete I want you to assist Major Carter."  
  
"General?" Jack questioned.  
  
"I think it's time you learned more about how the gate functions Colonel. That's all dismissed."  
  
"So when do you think you'll be joining us sir?" Sam asked knowing the Colonel really didn't want to help with anything related to the gate.  
  
"If I had a choice when hell froze over." He said.  
  
"I'd better go and check the weather reports then sir; I'm not sure what the weather is like over there at the moment. But it's closer to the Artic circle than we are so it could be sooner rather than later." Sam stated. Jack shot her a look. "There's small town in Scandinavia called Hell sir. It even has a sign that says 'Welcome to Hell'."  
  
"You're a freak you know that right."  
  
"Yes sir. I'll expect you when I see you sir." Sam said getting up from the table and leaving the briefing room.  
  
"Seriously what kind of person would know something like that?" Jack asked Daniel.  
  
"We found the website when we were surfing the web doing research a while ago. We checked it out on the CIA's world atlas, it does exist. A former Miss Universe is from there." Daniel said packing up his stuff.  
  
"Kill me now." Jack said putting his head on the table.  
  
"That would not be wise O'Neill." Teal'c said. "I believe Major Carter will endeavour to make this exercise most enjoyable." Jack scowled at him. "Daniel Jackson, I believe we must depart." Hammond smiled to himself as the Jaffa made a hasty departure from the room trailed by Daniel.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"So what do you want me to do?" Jack unenthusiastically asked four hours later.  
  
"You've got a few options sir. One, you can sit here with me and I can explain what I'm doing while this diagnostic program runs, two you can go and try and convince Sgt Siler to lend you his large wrench, three you can go and input some test data in to the computers in my lab and run a few simulations which take a while to conduct or you could sit around and pretend to be reading my last report on gate functionality." Sam offered. Sam got a few looks from the control room staff, who would never get away with suggesting anything like that to a higher ranking officer.  
  
"Or 5 run like hell?" He added.  
  
"Or there is always that option sir." She said with a smile. "But I have a better idea. Lieutenant?" She said spinning round on her chair.  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
"Keep an eye on this diagnostic; it's still going to be running for at least another hour. If the gate activates you have to suspend it."  
  
"Yes ma'am." The Lieutenant replied.  
  
"Colonel, if you'd come with me." Jack got up and followed her in the elevator.  
  
"So Carter, where are we going?"  
  
"I was due a break sir, and as you like to comment from time to time we scientists live on coffee so I thought we would go to the commissary."  
  
"I think this is one of your better ideas Major."  
  
"I thought you would sir." "So what was Jacob doing while we were away?" "He mentioned something about the garden. Don't ask me what he was planning to do but if saves me from doing it I'm grateful." She said as she pushed open the commissary door.  
  
"Do you just want coffee? Or do you want something to eat too?" Jack asked.  
  
"Jell-O. If they've got it."  
  
"Blue, I know sit down and then you can tell me what you're planning on doing." Jack said. He returned a few minutes later with a tray. "So?"  
  
"So what sir?" Sam asked.  
  
"So what are you planning on doing to the gate, because I'm Hammond is going to ask me so I might as well know and then you can tell me why you want me to steal Siler's big wrench."  
  
"Well today I'm going to let the diagnostic finish. Then I'm going home sir. Unless there is a major flaw which jumps out at me I'll analysis the results tomorrow. Then it's a case of fixing any problems with the encoding. I have to write a few update features for the software, include one I have an idea for which should make the gate dial faster. This is all we can do until the gate is taken offline of Friday. After that there is checking the circuitry for faults, replacing anything needs replacing, checking the power connection to the gate. That's why we need Siler's big wrench; he's going on holiday on Sunday for a week."  
  
"So what exactly am I supposed to do?" Jack asked.  
  
"My best suggestion would be to stick with me sir. I'll explain what's going on and you won't get in anyone's way. I'm pretty sure I can figure out a way for you to be able to do something else and no one will notice."  
  
"You're going to help me goof off?"  
  
"If you want to listen to gate theory all day sir, I can tell you anything you want to know or more than likely more than you ever wanted to know. I'll keep you up with the basics, but yeah I'll help you goof off."  
  
"Didn't know you had it in you there Carter?"  
  
"There are lot of things that you don't know about me sir. Which I think you found out over the weekend."  
  
"I think you have a deal Major."  
  
"Good. If General Hammond asks the diagnostic we're running is a complete system check as opposed to the one basic ones the control room staff run when we have a problem, and is more invasive than the full diagnostic. It checks every line of every program that runs through the computers; it also runs small sequences of random test data to check that they are working correctly. The computers run at higher speed in the gate room as opposed to the one the in your office, the one in my lab runs at only a slightly lower speed, so it only takes four hours once it's implemented. If the program is suspended because some dials in, the program is designed to go back and run over the data it's tested in the previous hour."  
  
"So for every interruption it takes an additional hour for the program to run. So if it kept getting interrupted you could be here for hours?"  
  
"Yes, that's why we usually run the programs at night, while SG-1 are on downtime."  
  
"They make you work during downtime typical, there is a reason they call it downtime you know."  
  
"Yes sir. But I usually volunteer they don't expect me to do any work and if there are problems there is time to fix it."  
  
"You really shouldn't work during downtime, we have it for a reason we working in stressful jobs we need to be able to get away from them and clear our minds of everything related to the gate, the Goa'uld and any other little alien visitors who stop by."  
  
"Yes sir but I'd rather."  
  
"Major Carter to the control room, Major Carter to the control room."  
  
"Excuse me sir." Sam got up and rushed out, Jack followed at a more leisurely pace.  
  
"Which key did you hit?" Sam demanded.  
  
"I don't know for sure ma'am. I put my hand by accident and hit a key and them it keeps appearing with unknown error."  
  
"So much for my leaving early." Sam muttered as she tried to fix the error. Jack watched as she tried to fix the problem but in the end exited the program. "We'll have to start again." She stated before resuming the program from fresh. "Well sir we have at least another four hours to wait." She said turning back to Jack. "Maybe we should discuss some more ways to extract information from the Goa'uld." Jack smiled.  
  
"Of course Major."  
  
TBC  
  
A/N - I know this part isn't as shippy as the last few chapters but it really didn't lend it's self to many shippy moments. BTW the town of Hell exist I actually did find it on a map about a year ago and went on the website and saw the sign; I just can't remember which Scandinavian country it was in. 


	15. Phase Four L

"Major, why don't you go home?" General Hammond suggested at five o'clock on Saturday, "You too Colonel."  
  
"I've just got to finish entering this data, but yes sir." Sam replied.  
  
"Yes General. Do you have any plans for the weekend sir?" Jack asked.  
  
"Only filing some requisition forms, I'll be here for another few hours yet."  
  
"Do you need a hand sir?" Jack offered.  
  
"You've been assisting Major Carter all week I think you both deserve a night off. Besides the base is on a skeleton crew. It should be quiet."  
  
"Yes sir. If you don't need me Major, I'll see you tomorrow." Jack said.  
  
"Yes sir." Sam replied.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Jack was waiting for Sam when she stepped off the elevator on the floor on which her base quarters were located.  
  
"Is everything set up?" He asked.  
  
"Yes sir. Cassie is bringing the cake when she arrives, everything else is in place. Everyone should be arriving at just after 1900. One of the SF's will call General Hammond to the storage room when we signal him."  
  
"Sweet."  
  
"If you'll excuse me sir, I need to go and get ready. That reminds me I have to go and find Teal'c."  
  
"Why?" Jack asked.  
  
"He's lending me one of his cowboy hats."  
  
"Are you sure it will fit? Teal'c has an abnormally large head."  
  
"He has one that is too small for him, it should fit. I'll see you later sir."  
  
"Yeah sure you betcha."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
There was a knock on Sam's quarter's door.  
  
"Who is it?" She called.  
  
"It's me Janet can I come in?" Janet asked. Sam opened the door and let her in. She was dressed as an Indian and had a wig with long black plaits and feathers in.  
  
"Very nice. Cassie here yet?" Sam asked as she picked up the hat so Janet could sit on the bed.  
  
"Jacob just brought her; she's got him and Jack helping set up the cake."  
  
"And you'd like some help with your wig?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yes. Plus I want to see your outfit. I have strict instructions to check how many buttons you have done up. But you're not dressed yet so I can wait." Sam was wearing a bathrobe.  
  
"Actually I am, I just put on my robe so I didn't get make up on my top. Let me just put on my boots and I'll show you the complete outfit." Sam sat on the bed and pulled on her knee high cowboy boots and placed Teal'c cowboy hat on her head before standing and taking off her robe. "So what do you think?" She asked.  
  
"Wow and I thought you looked good in the blue dress. And a skirt that short should be illegal."  
  
"Cassie talked me into. I was planning on buying a new pair of jeans instead. But it's only for one night. At least I haven't got any visible scars on my stomach. The one where I go stabbed a few years ago faded really quickly."  
  
"I know. You look good but you need undo another button or face the wrath of Cassie." Sam undid the extra button and flattened her denim skirt that stop before her mid thigh. She also had on a blue gingham short sleeved top, which with Cassie's button demands showed rather a lot of cleavage, and the lace edge of her bra and was tied in a knot under her breasts showing her stomach.  
  
"So what do you think of Cassie's outfit?"  
  
"I think she had more fun dressing you up. I approve. One suggestion though put a long coat on before you go up, you'll get a better impact that way."  
  
"Who said I was going for impact?" Sam asked.  
  
"How can you not be in that outfit? So will you help me with my wig?"  
  
"Of course come here." Janet shuffled closer so Sam could pin her hair up add the wig and add additional pins to keep the wig in place. "There you go. As for long coat, I have a very long cardigan I wore in this morning that should cover everything. So are you ready to go up?"  
  
"Shouldn't we check where General Hammond is?" Janet asked.  
  
"I've got that covered." Sam picked up the radio which was set on the table. "Lieutenant, it's Major Carter, what is the location on Eagle?"  
  
"Eagle is in his den ma'am." Came the reply.  
  
"Thank you Lieutenant. I'll signal you when we're ready."  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
"Eagle is in his den?" Janet questioned.  
  
"General Hammond is still in his office." Sam explained. "Let's get out here, everyone should be here soon." Sam slipped on her long cardigan and zipped it up. She took the gift that was sitting on the table and opened the door so Janet could leave in front of her.  
  
Sam and Janet greeted lots of the SGC personnel who most of which were dressed as cowboys on their way in to the storage room. A giant banner covered the back wall with the words Happy Birthday General emblazoned on it.  
  
"Hey Sam." Jacob said coming up and hugging her. "So am I going to get to see this outfit Cassie keeps telling me about?  
  
"If I can speak to Selmak for a second first." Sam said. Jacob lowered his head.  
  
"Samantha this is a most intriguing concept. I am learning greatly more about the human culture everyday. Gardening is a most enjoyable activity."  
  
"I'm glad. My garden looks wonderful. I need you to keep reminding my Dad that I am over 21, I can take care of myself, that I save the world on a regular basis and above all this was Cassie's idea."  
  
"As you wish Samantha." Jacob lowered his head again and switched back to Jacob. "So do I get to see it now that Selmak is going to keep me under control?"  
  
"Sure." She undid the zip and slipped the cardigan off. A deadly silence filled the room.  
  
"See I told you she looked good in it." Cassie said in a minute breaking the silence.  
  
"Major Carter." A voice came over the radio. "Eagle is on the move."  
  
"Everyone is here." Cassie supplied.  
  
"Lieutenant, make the announcement. We're ready."  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
"Dad." Sam prompted.  
  
"Everyone shut up and someone kill the lights." Jacob bellowed.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"General Hammond to storage room C- 65. General Hammond to storage room C- 65." The tannoy bellowed.  
  
"What seems to be the problem airman?" Hammond asked stood outside the storm room.  
  
"I have no idea sir." He opened the door and Hammond walked in. Someone switched on the light and they all began a rousing rendition of happy birthday.  
  
"Many happy returns General Hammond, you may require this." Teal'c handed him a gift.  
  
"Thank you Teal'c." General Hammond said before opening the box. Inside was a cowboy hat. Hammond took it out of the box and placed it on his head.  
  
"It suits you sir." Jack commented. "Happy birthday General."  
  
"Thank you Jack. But who gave you permission to have a party n the base?" He said in a stern tone.  
  
"General Ryan sir." Jack quickly replied.  
  
"In that case we need some music." The music switched on.  
  
"So, what do you think Uncle George?" Cassie asked.  
  
"It's a wonderful surprise Cassandra, I had absolutely no idea."  
  
"Do you like the theme? It took lots of research and a few recon missions."  
  
"I'm very impressed. But I feel a little overdressed."  
  
"Your daughter brought you a change of clothes sir. She asked me to tell you to enjoy yourself and she and your granddaughters will pick you up at 0900 to take you out for the day. Colonel O'Neill is going to take charge of the base as he's going to be here assisting me tomorrow anyway."  
  
"Thank you Major. I'll just go and change then I'll be back."  
  
"So do you really think he didn't know?" Jack whispered to Sam.  
  
"He knew sir. Your excuse for why we needed the storage room was pretty lame sir. But if you'll excuse me sir, I have to return the radio."  
  
"In that?" He asked. "Are you planning on killing all the skeleton crew or just your Dad?"  
  
"Dad's fine, Selmak is keeping an eye on him. Besides which I promised I'd take them some food since they have to work. And finally sir, I can take care of myself and I out rank all of them. Excuse me."  
  
"She told you." Daniel said from behind him. "So what do you think of Sam's outfit."  
  
"It looks . . . . cold."  
  
"You sound like you should be her father. Jacob got over the shock, I think she looks great and like she said you know she can take care of herself and any airmen who get out of hand."  
  
"I need a beer." Jack said marching to where the bar had been set up.  
  
"Nice choice Cass." Daniel whispered.  
  
"She only needed a little push. She looks great."  
  
"It will annoy the hell out of Jack all evening."  
  
"That was the Mom and my plan."  
  
"It's working well so far."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"This I recognise." Hammond said two hours later. "Sam do you remember how it goes?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Shall we show them how them how it should be done?"  
  
"Yes sir. Keep an eye on my beer." Sam said as she got up and accompanied General Hammond onto the dance floor.  
  
"I didn't think she'd remember how to do that." Jacob said filling the seat next to Jack that Sam had vacated.  
  
"Remember?" Jack said.  
  
"She learnt how to barn dance when she was thirteen. I didn't think she'd remember how to do it. You see when Sam was a kid I was transferred all over place and when Sam was thirteen I was transferred to Lackland for six months, that's where I met George for the first time. Sam always found the best way to make new friends was to take up a new activity. So when we got to Texas she decided she wanted to learn barn dancing for some reason. She took lessons for four months, she got pretty good. So one day when I was out on exercises and Sam's mom was out for the day Sam decided she needed to have a chance to use her skills. So she called up the base CO offices and made an appointment to see. He was intrigued why a thirteen year old girl would want to see him. Sam went into his office and set on a spiel about what she learnt and how the base personnel didn't spend enough time with their families and she wanted him to throw a barn dance." He paused.  
  
"She walked in to the base CO office and told him she wanted him to throw a barn dance?" Janet questioned.  
  
"Yeah. She didn't tell anyone, the first I knew I was called into his office a few days. I thought Mark had been throwing firecrackers again. He wanted to congratulate me on having a well spoken daughter who was able debate her point. She got her barn dance and was recommended to join the academy when she was old enough. She has the habit of turning on the charm with the big brass and usually getting what she wants. Doesn't always work but still."  
  
"Being charming with the big brass doesn't always work." Jack slurred.  
  
"But it helps sir." Sam said coming back and sitting on the edge of Jacob's knee. "I haven't done that in years."  
  
"But remember it well Major. Things like that never leave you." General Hammond said.  
  
"Yes sir. If you'll excuse me sirs I need to go and check up on a few things. I'll see you later Dad." Sam hoped of his knee and headed out the door.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Lieutenant, lend me your jacket please." Sam said as she typed into the keyboard. "Then see if you can find me the blue file I left down here earlier."  
  
"I told you, you should have had more clothes on Major." A voice that was definitely not that of the Lieutenant who had been helping.  
  
"Sorry Colonel I thought you were Lieutenant Smith."  
  
"Carter, you're supposed to be at a party not working." He slurred slightly.  
  
"I know sir, but I had a flash of inspiration so I thought I'd better write it down now before I forgot. Why aren't you at the party sir?"  
  
"I came to save you from Airmen."  
  
"Thanks for the thought sir, but as you can see I'm fine. A little cold but fine." She kept typing.  
  
"I still." He took a step towards her and tried to put his hand on a chair, but the wheels ran away from him and he stumbled to the floor.  
  
"Colonel." Sam was quickly at his side helping to his feet. "I think you've drunk to much sir. Come let's go."  
  
"Ma'am I couldn't find it." Lieutenant Smith said rushing in.  
  
"Stand guard of that computer and don't let anyone touch it until I come back. I just need to go back upstairs for a few minutes."  
  
"Yes ma'am." Sam helped Jack into the elevator.  
  
"Keys." Sam demanded as she stood outside Jack's quarters.  
  
"Are you positioning me Major?"  
  
"No sir, I'm putting you in your room so you don't create and incident and then I'm stealing your shirt because I'm cold. So please hand over the keys." Jack dug out the keys and handed them over. Sam unlocked the door for him to go through then followed him in. "Boots off now."  
  
"You know that's edging on insubordination Major."  
  
"I'm sure there is a rule about being drunk on an military base too sir. You can sleep in your clothes but you shouldn't sleep in your boots. She picked up one his over shirts which he wore as part of his uniform and slipped it on. "Good night sir."  
  
"Night Sam."  
  
TBC 


	16. Phase Four M

"Morning Sam." Janet said as she sat down on the opposite side of the table in the commissary the next morning.  
  
"Morning. I thought you had the day off today."  
  
"I do. Cassie fell asleep during the party last night so Teal'c carried her to my quarters, she's still asleep. I'll leave when she wakes up."  
  
"Did you enjoy the party?" Sam asked.  
  
"It was fun. There are some interesting rumours are going around about you."  
  
"Like what?" Sam inquired.  
  
"That you were seen coming out of Jack's quarters, wearing on of his shirts after you had both disappeared after the party."  
  
"It's true.."  
  
"Really?" Janet said with a grin.  
  
"But not in the context the gossips have it going on. I left the party because I had an idea for the program I'm writing to speed up the dialling process. I wanted to get it written down before I forgot so I came down to the control room. Colonel O'Neill came down to find because he wanted to 'protect me from the airmen'. He was drunk and after he fell over I didn't want him to cause an incident so I escorted him back to his quarters to make sure he got there. I took his keys open the door, reminded him to take off his boots and borrowed one of his shirts because it was cold and Dad still had the keys to my quarters because I didn't have anywhere to put them in outfit. Then I left and went back to the control room." Sam explained.  
  
"Oh, that's less interesting than the rumour."  
  
"Best I can offer is he asked if I was propositioning him when I told him to take off his boots."  
  
"He was watching you all night, scowling at everyone. Did you talk to him?"  
  
"No, we were having fun but it wasn't the right time. It'll never be the right time and I can live with that. I've done it for years."  
  
"Coffee, someone get me some coffee." Jack said stumbling into the commissary.  
  
"Slight hangover there sir?" Sam said hiding a smile.  
  
"Don't even start Carter. Doc can I get some aspirin?"  
  
"You'll have to go and see Dr Warner sir, I'm not on duty today." The server rushed over and handed him a large cup of coffee.  
  
"Thank you." He sat down.  
  
"Colonel, you should eat something greasy it will soak up any excess alcohol." Janet pointed out.  
  
"Eating would not be a good option right now." He grabbed his head.  
  
"That would be the problem with drinking too much sir." Janet said.  
  
"You think? What happened?"  
  
"You were drunk so you were put to bed so you didn't cause an incident, sir." Sam supplied.  
  
"I remember Jacob saying something about barn dancing and Texas, but not much after that."  
  
"More of the life and times of Samantha Carter. If you'll excuse me sir, I need to get back to work. The SF's are going to need orders at some point would you like me to take care of it?"  
  
"Sure, go ahead. Just don't let them destroy the base."  
  
"Yes sir." Sam replied before leaving.  
  
"So what really happened Janet?" Jack asked after downing half his cup of coffee.  
  
"I suppose someone better tell you the truth before you hear the rumour mill version." Janet explained what had happened.  
  
"I really asked her that?" Jack groaned.  
  
"I don't think she really minded sir, and if she was going to proposition you I'm sure she'd do it in a better way than telling you to take off your boots. Last time she tried to jump you. But anyway you should ask for your shirt back, the people in the laundry might voice concerns as to why is going with her laundry and not yours."  
  
"I suppose I should apologise."  
  
"It's nice to see you're so protective of your team and so will to defend Sam's honour if the airmen could keep their hands off her in that outfit last night." Janet said as straight faced as possible. Jack scowled at her. "I'll just go and get you that aspirin sir."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Hey Carter, can I have a word?" Jack said sitting down in one of the swivel chairs next to her as she typed at the keyboard.  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Excuse me can everyone clear out for a minute?" Jack ordered. Sam nodded at them and they filed out.  
  
"So what can I do for you sir?" Sam asked.  
  
"I wanted to apologise for my behaviour last night."  
  
"No need to apologise Colonel. In hindsight I probably shouldn't have worn that outfit to the party."  
  
"You did look great however inappropriate it is for me to say that. Thank you for putting me to bed so I didn't make a bigger fool of myself."  
  
"All part of the service sir. I'll return your shirt later today."  
  
"I'm sorry for any rumours that are going around."  
  
"There are always rumours sir, members of SG-1 tend to be the subject of most of them, because of all the strange situations we get ourselves in. But you sending everyone out of the room probably doesn't help things sir."  
  
"I didn't think of that."  
  
"It's not a problem Colonel. There are a few ways out of it."  
  
"Like what?" Jack inquired.  
  
"We either confirm the rumour by telling the truth and people would believe the rumour anyway."  
  
"That sounds pointless." Jack agreed.  
  
"We deny the rumour and let the dust settle."  
  
"That probably wouldn't work either," Jack acknowledged.  
  
"Then we either do something to top it or we totally ignore it."  
  
"Some like what?" Jack wondered out loud.  
  
"I don't know Colonel. It's my job to present the options not to make the final decision. I'll go along with whatever you decide."  
  
"Whatever I decide?" He repeated.  
  
"Yes sir. I trust you and as long as we both sign a document saying we won't charge each other under the UCMJ we should be fine."  
  
"So you're saying you wouldn't if we did something that was not a lie." Jack tried to clarify.  
  
"Yes sir." She replied as she continued not looking at him.  
  
"Sam are you pissed at me for some reason?"  
  
"No sir. There's a bug in this program I can't find. I need someone else to go over the coding and you sent them all away."  
  
"I'll go and let you get back to work."  
  
"Before you go sir, you'll need this." Sam handed him a radio.  
  
"Why?" He asked.  
  
"Unlike when General Hammond is in command of the base, locating you on the base at any given moment would be difficult. All the SF's have radios too. That way if there is a problem we can contact you."  
  
"We?"  
  
"I have one too just in case they can't find you."  
  
"Good thinking. I'll be back when I think of something."  
  
"Yes sir. Have a good day and I hope your hangover gets better." Sam said with a genuine smile.  
  
"Thank you Major." He walked down to the end of the corridor where the group he'd evicted from the control room stood. "Well get back to work, Major Carter needs help with her computer thingy."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Colonel come in." Sam's voice crackled over the radio.  
  
"Yeah Carter, what can I do for you?" Jack replied.  
  
"Do you have a few minutes to come down to the control room there is something I need to discuss with you?"  
  
"On my way. By the way do you want some coffee?"  
  
"Thank sir. Carter out."  
  
~  
  
"So what's happening Carter?" Jack asked as he handed her a cup.  
  
"We've fixed the error in the program I was working on. We've run ten successful simulations using the computer. Here's the report." She handed him a folder.  
  
"And?" Jack said as he flicked through the file.  
  
"I need your permission to run test the program on the gate sir. I'd like to open the gate using the program we have then run a open the gate three times using the new dialling program and check the timing."  
  
"Where are you planning on opening the gate to?" Jack asked.  
  
"I have a list of abandoned worlds which come from the Ancient gates so there should be no Goa'uld activity there. You have the final say on where sir." Sam handed him the list.  
  
"Recommendations?"  
  
"P6Z 989. It's uninhabited and the air is toxic to humans, so we should have no problems with coming under attack if anyone decides to retaliate for the gate opening."  
  
"And you're certain that this isn't going to destroy the base, because I don't earn enough to replace a base that blew up on my watch."  
  
"I'm confident sir. The program only varies slightly from the original program I wrote almost six years ago, and all the additional adjustments I've made since, with the exception of your addition of the Ancient's Stargates I'm the only one who has the authorisation to alter the program."  
  
"Then permission granted."  
  
"Yes sir." 


	17. Phase Four N

"Before you make the changes permanently wait until tomorrow and get General Hammond to sign off on it." Jack advised after Sam had completed her test shaving two seconds off the dialling time.  
  
"Yes sir." Sam shut the program down and removed the backup copy disk. "Lieutenant, I'm going back up to my lab. Re-run the basic scan call me if there are any problems."  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
"Sir, permission to." Sam nodded in the direction of the door.  
  
"I'll come with you I need to talk to you about our next mission."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"I came up with an idea." Jack said as soon as they entered the elevator.  
  
"That's good sir, can it wait until we're in my lab? With the door shut its sound proof."  
  
"Sure. Is the two seconds really going to make that much of a difference?"  
  
"In general situations no, but it we need to dial out quickly yes. Unlike the DHD, on which you press the symbols the red button in the centre and the gate opens, we have to wait for the chevrons to lock in place which takes longer. Therefore people dialling in from off world have an advantage. Our ultimate goal is to get out dialling program to work that quickly. When I first wrote the program we really didn't have any idea what the gate actually did, the gate accepts more impulses that we actually give it. But for the purposes we need it for it exceeds those expectations that were set out for me." Sam looked at Jack. "I should have stop after the first sentence. Sorry sir."  
  
"I'm supposed to be learning this stuff." He said as they walked into her lab.  
  
"Can I have a minute to check my e-mail? I had someone else look at that equation; they said they would get back to me today."  
  
"So no one has figured out what it means?" He asked looking at the equation on the black board.  
  
"No. Some of the top most mathematicians and scientist have no idea what it is. I had to tell them we found it in an archaeological dig." She said and she worked on the computer. Jack picked up a piece of chalk a different colour to what was written on the board and began writing a series of ones and series in groups of eight under each number. Under every group of eight that was preceded by a minus sign he inverted the ones and zeros then add an additional one.  
  
"How do computers multiply and divide?" He asked.  
  
"What?" Sam said looking up at him.  
  
"How do computers multiply and divide?" He repeated.  
  
"They can't. They use a series of addition, like when I explained that they did subtraction by inverting bits and adding one. Why what are you doing?" She came and stood next to him and looked at what he'd written on the board.  
  
"What if it's not an equation? What if it's a computer program that creates a series on impulse like you were talking about to get to a destination which is given the name 42?" He circled the number. "I mean we have code names for planet P3X whatever or M93 something or other. Why couldn't some one who wanted to hide the location of a planet, write it in a series of numbers that were the impulse codes for a planet rather than the actual Stargate address."  
  
"You might be onto something there sir." Sam grabbed her phone, and dialled an outside line. "Hi Bill, is Heather there?" Sam asked. "Hi Heather, its Sam. Are you busy today? We have a suggestion as to what the mystery equation is. Do you think you could come in and work on it? I have to finish working on my project at the moment?" Sam waited. "Thanks Heather, I'll see you in an hour."  
  
"Who is Heather?" Jack asked. "And who is Bill?"  
  
"Bill is Captain William Thomason is Heather's husband and Heather is Dr. Heather Thomason, she works upstairs in NORAD. She's a mathematician and she's good with computers. She should be able to run it through a computer and see if it works out as a program and then we should be able to run it against the computer impulses we've worked out." She picked up the phone and dialled a number she had on speed dial. "Daniel, its Sam. He's fine, I think his hangovers gone by now.. Yeah the reason I was calling, Colonel O'Neill had an interesting idea about what the equation was. Yes Colonel O'Neill. He's having a good week I don't know... He thinks it might be a computer program for a planet, like the impulses for a planet rather than gate coordinates. He thinks the 42 is a code name for a planet like the ones we have. No he's not ill or infected with anything that I know of." She covered the mouth piece. "You're feeling okay aren't you sir?"  
  
"Yeah I'm fine."  
  
"He says he feels fine. He could be right; nothing else we have makes sense. I called Heather; she's coming in to work on it as I'm still busy with the gate. I thought you might want to come in and help her. I'll ask him. Thirty minutes yeah. Bye Daniel." She hung up.  
  
"Should you really be talk to Daniel about the gate over an unsecured phone line?"  
  
"Daniel has a secure phone line, so do I. General Hammond had them installed for us a few years ago because we were forever needing phone lines to be scrambled so we called to each other. Let me just do something then we can discuss your plan." Sam walked across to the lab door. "Airman." The Airman who was standing guard in the corridor walked to her door.  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
"I need you to take that chalkboard to Dr Jackson's lab." She instructed.  
  
"Ma'am, I'm not supposed to leave my post ma'am."  
  
"I know. Give Colonel O'Neill your weapon."  
  
"Ma'am, I'm only supposed to relinquish my weapon at the armoury at the end of my shift."  
  
"Airman, do you believe Colonel O'Neill is liable to go on the rampage and kill everyone in the base with what bullets are in your gun, when he can access the whole armoury?" Sam demanded.  
  
"No, ma'am."  
  
"Then handover your gun Airman." The Airman looked at Jack for confirmation; he stuck his hands in his pockets and nodded.  
  
"Yes ma'am." The Airman handed her the gun.  
  
"Now take the chalkboard to Dr Jackson's lab and then go and ask Teal'c to meet Dr Jackson there in thirty minutes. Do you understand?" Sam said slightly raising her tone.  
  
"Yes ma'am." The Airman grabbed the chalkboard and quickly wheeled it out.  
  
"Here you go sir." Sam handed Jack the gun after checking the safety was on.  
  
"Well, you intimated him."  
  
"He's only been here two weeks and thinks I'm a soft touch because I'm a woman. I scowl them into submission like you can or just look at them like Teal'c does or steadily increase the tone of voice like Dad does."  
  
"So you make them feel an inch high." He smiled. "Whatever works for you."  
  
"So what's your plan sir?"  
  
"I want you to understand I'm not making a pass at you?"  
  
"I know sir." She smiled. "You're plan?"  
  
"You start spouting about something and I kiss you to shut you up and have someone walk in on it."  
  
"It should work and it's not like you haven't done it before."  
  
"Huh?" He questioned.  
  
"The Land of Light Incident and Samantha." Sam supplied. "You should make sure it's Major Ferretti."  
  
"Why Ferretti?" Jack asked.  
  
"So he can pay out the pool winnings to who ever needs it."  
  
"Pool?" Jack questioned.  
  
"Ferretti has a pool on everything. He has two rules, you can't ask if you are the subject of a bet and you can't tell anyone what the subject of the bet about them is. So I'm sure he has a few about us. The only pools Ferretti doesn't know about are the ones that are about him."  
  
"Which are?"  
  
"How long it will take him to realise that he likes Hannah Jenkins? Daniel and I have fifty on it each for by Christmas, him this year, me next. I won fifty dollars last month on how many missions Daniel could go without getting injured. You didn't know about it?"  
  
"No. How long has this been going on?"  
  
"Since our first mission to get Daniel back from Abydos, Dad has a bet on something and even General Hammond. Today would be the best day to do it with General Hammond not here and less chance of being caught, by the wrong person."  
  
"Where is Jacob anyway? He comes all this way to spend time with you and you're at work all the time."  
  
"He's gone to San Diego to see Mark and the kids for a few days as he can't go back until we get the gate fully checked out. He's got my cell phone in case the Tok'ra contact us for some reason and we need him back."  
  
"I'll go and call Ferretti and make up some excuse." Jack said getting up from the stool he'd sat in a few minutes before.  
  
"Let me know when and where."  
  
A/N: Shorter than normal chapter but the next chapter should get very interesting and we might find out the answer to what the equation is. 


	18. Phase Four O

"So what do you think?" Sam asked rubbing her hand over the back of her neck.  
  
"I think the Colonel is right. I've converted the equation into code which produces a bleep. Each impulse puts out a different tone or type of bleep. There are definitely eight distinctive sounds."  
  
"The seven chevrons and the red button." Daniel added.  
  
"So basically we need to find out the bleeps for each symbol and match them up to the address." Sam clarified.  
  
"Yes. But I don't think your dialling system will work. I think you need to use a DHD. These bleeps, pulses will be very specific."  
  
"Carter, come in." Sam's radio crackled.  
  
"Excuse me. Yes sir."  
  
"I need to see you in your lab in ten minutes."  
  
"Yes sir. Carter out." Sam put the radio back on the desk. Daniel gave her a quizzical look. "The SF's needed a way to get a hold of Colonel O'Neill if there was a problem. Radios were the easiest solution. I have one in case they can't find him. Can you write up your findings into a report so we can present it to General Hammond?"  
  
"Sure." Daniel said with a smile.  
  
"I'd better go and see what the Colonel wants." She picked her radio and headed out the door.  
  
"Tell him he's taxed his brain enough for one day." Daniel yelled after her.  
  
"I don't think will." She called back with a smile.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"You wanted to see me sir." Sam said as she walked into her lab.  
  
"Ferretti will be here in about five minutes. Are you still alright about this?"  
  
"Yes sir." Sam took two pieces of paper out from a folder and handed one to Jack who signed it and handed it back. Sam signed the other and placed them back in the folder. "By the way you were right about the equation its gate coordinates. We need to go off world to use a DHD to figure out which ones we're dealing with."  
  
"That's good, just tell Hammond about it."  
  
"Colonel O'Neill come in sir." A voice said over the radio.  
  
"Yes Airman." Jack replied.  
  
"Major Ferretti has arrived."  
  
"Tell him, I'll probably be in Major Carter's lab."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Showtime. So Carter something I wondered about when I was bored. Why does the gate have nine of the chevron locky things when we only use seven?"  
  
"You see Colonel, the chevrons only in the vaguest sense relate to the groups of stars they represent. They are actually distance calculations. The first six give the area of space the gate goes to. The seventh chevron is the point of origin, basically a starting point for the co-ordinates. The time you had all the knowledge of the Ancients and you went to the Asguard homework, the gate need the extra power because the extra chevron means that."  
  
"Major Ferretti." They heard from down the corridor.  
  
". Add an extra calculation to the distance so ."  
  
"I've had enough Carter."  
  
"But you asked Colonel and if you'd let me finish you might find this useful information at some." Jack cut her off with a kiss.  
  
"Huh hum." Ferretti unsubtly coughed. Jack broke the kiss. Sam looked at him and put her hand to her mouth.  
  
"Excuse me sir, Ferretti." She said before quickly leaving. Ferretti looked at Jack for answers.  
  
"Good that you could come in. I wanted to talk to you about the new recruits training."  
  
"We'll get to that in a minute Jack. Is there something else you wanted to say first?"  
  
"Not that I know of." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "We figured out that equation it's actually gate coordinates."  
  
"I was thinking more along the lines of the rumour about Sam leaving your quarters in one of your shirts last night."  
  
"It's true. But not in the context everyone seems to be thinking. I was drunk so she escorted me back to my quarters so I didn't make an idiot of myself and ruin Hammond's party. She borrowed one of my shirts because Jacob had the keys to her quarters and she was cold and she had the beginnings of an idea, which she finished and shaved two seconds off the dialling time."  
  
"And that kiss I just saw?" Ferretti asked.  
  
"You know how hard it is to shut her up when she started explaining something and I did the stupid thing of asking why?"  
  
"And how do you think Sam feels about you kissing her?" Ferretti pushed.  
  
"Carter will get over it. She's tougher than she looks."  
  
"And what do you think Jacob would say about you kissing his little girl?"  
  
"I honestly don't know. Maybe you should ask him when he gets back from San Diego and visiting his son and grandkids. Can we change the subject now Major?"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
~ ~  
  
"Sam are you okay?" Daniel said sitting down next to her with his cup of coffee. Sam had been sat in the commissary for two hours starring into space; the coffee cup she had a tight hold of was still full of coffee which had long since gone cold. "Sam?" She slowly turned to look at him.  
  
"Sorry Daniel, I was just thinking."  
  
"About anything particular or just general meaning of life stuff?"  
  
"Did you ever agree to something because it seemed like a good idea at the time but it just ended up making everything twice as complicated?" She asked.  
  
"On occasions. Why what happened?"  
  
"Nothing important, I'm just being stupid." She said trying to cover it with a smile.  
  
"Sam how long have you been sat here?" Daniel inquired.  
  
"A while. Did you get your report done?"  
  
"Heather is just uploading the program onto a zip disk for you." He knew she was trying to change the subject. "So what did Jack want?"  
  
"Huh?" She asked with a questioning suspicion in her eyes.  
  
"He called you to meet him in your lab a couple of hours ago. What did he want?"  
  
"Nothing important. He called Ferretti in and they're meeting about something. What time is it anyway?"  
  
"Almost ten to five."  
  
"I'm going home. If you see Colonel O'Neill tell him for me would you." She got up from the chair.  
  
"Sam, are you sure you're okay?" Daniel said putting his hand on her arm.  
  
"I'm fine Daniel, just a bit tired. It's been a long few days, what with the gate overhaul, the General's party, solving the equation. I've had enough for the day, so I'm going home to sleep it off. I'll be back at 0900 tomorrow. Night Daniel."  
  
"Goodnight Sam."  
  
Sam handed her radio to the first SF she saw, she didn't even bother changing she just grabbed her coat, bag and car keys and headed out, being prompted to remember to sign out, by one of the guards. Without any more thought she headed home.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Hey Daniel. You finished that report yet?" Jack asked looking up from the file he and Ferretti were compiling.  
  
"Yes, I'm going to brief the General tomorrow. By the way it was good thinking."  
  
"Thanks. If you see Carter tell her she might as well go home everything can wait until tomorrow."  
  
"She left almost two hours ago. She said she was tired and she'd be back at nine tomorrow."  
  
"Thanks for telling me. You headed home too?"  
  
"Teal'c is going to stay at mine tonight; we're going to order in pizza. I came to invite you, but you're busy." He said leaning against the door frame.  
  
"Military stuff. He dragged me here on my weekend off." Ferretti chipped in.  
  
"Thank you Ferretti. Have a good evening."  
  
"By the way Jack, do you know if there is something wrong with Sam? I found her sitting commissary with a full cup of cold coffee staring of into space." Daniel asked.  
  
"I'm sure she's fine. She'll be back to normal by tomorrow like she always is. Now be good kids and don't get into too much trouble."  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow Jack. Bye Ferretti."  
  
"Enjoy your evening Daniel." Ferretti said as soon as Daniel was gone he added. "She'll get over it?" He ribbed.  
  
"Shut up. Let's finish this, so we can all go home." 


	19. Phase Four P

Sam swiped at her eyes when the doorbell rang. Her eyes were puffy from where she'd been crying for the last hour or more. She'd tried ice-cream and chocolate, her normal comfort food but nothing had helped. So she'd let herself cry. The doorbell rang again. She threw the blanket she been covering herself with on the couch and went to open the door.  
  
"Ja..Colonel?" She said stunned to see him stood on her doorstep.  
  
"Hey Carter. Are you okay it looks like you've been." He was the typical male who didn't know what to say when a woman had been crying.  
  
"Sad movie." She said trying to account for the tears. "So what can I do for you sir?"  
  
"I just wanted to check you were okay? It's not like you to leave early or say you're not coming in until 0900."  
  
"I'm fine sir. Just need an early night, but I got to watching a movie, I was just about to go to bed."  
  
"I'd better go and let you get to bed then. I just want to make sure you were okay and not bothered about today?"  
  
"I'm fine sir. I'll see you in the morning." She closed the door, before leaning back against it and the tears began to fall again.  
  
Her doorbell rang again; Sam wiped her eyes again and took a deep breath before standing to open the door again.  
  
"Colonel?" She said realising he'd not actually gone.  
  
"I couldn't leave." He stepped in and placed his hands on her face before gently placing his lips on hers. Sam let her hands rise to the back of his neck before pushing the open further with her foot so he could come in while still kissing her. He back up against the wall, his arms now around her waist holding her close to him. He broke the kiss for a breath. The realisation of what had just happened hit Sam. She pulled away.  
  
"Colonel. Jack we can't do this." She back away until she hit the wall.  
  
"Why not?" Jack asked.  
  
"We can't, as much as I want to. It's against regulations."  
  
"Screw the regs." He said stepping towards her; she put her hand on his chest to stop him from getting closer.  
  
"Jack, I like being in the Air Force and I like working at the SGC. I've worked too hard to get where I am, to give it up now. I'm sorry. I think you should leave." She said with difficulty.  
  
"Sam." Jack started.  
  
"Don't please, you'll only make this harder. Just go."  
  
"I'll go but."  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow Colonel. You know the way out." She walked into bedroom and flung herself on the bed as she heard the door close. Twenty minutes later she had collected herself enough to pick up the phone and dial.  
  
"Fraiser." Janet answered.  
  
"Janet, its Sam. Do you think you could come over?"  
  
"Sam is everything okay?" Janet quickly asked.  
  
"No, I think I need to talk to someone."  
  
"I'm on my way."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
When Janet arrived she let herself in, she found Sam curled up on the couch crying.  
  
"Oh Sam." Janet said as wrapped her arms around her. "Let it all out." Sam continued to cry until she couldn't cry anymore. "Sam, what happened?" Sam managed to spit out the whole story. "Oh Sam, I think Daniel needs to explain something to you."  
  
"What does Daniel have to do with this?" Sam asked.  
  
"I'll call him and get him to come over and explain it to you. You need to hear it from him."  
  
"Janet what's going on?" Sam insisted.  
  
"Wait until Daniel gets here." Janet got up and went and got the phone from the kitchen and dialled Daniel's number and waited him to answer. "Daniel, its Janet. I'm at Sam's, I need you to come over we need to tell her everything. Thanks." Janet turned back to Sam. "He'll be here in ten minutes."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
When Daniel arrived Janet let him in and quickly explained what had happened.  
  
"Daniel, can you explain what the hell is going on?" Sam demanded.  
  
"Sit down Sam and I'll explain." Sam sat down and looked at him.  
  
"Spit out Daniel."  
  
"Where to start." Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose. "We've all know that you were in each other for years. We were fed up with you trying to realise it so we started to give you a little push in the right direction."  
  
"Who is we?" Sam inquired.  
  
"Well, me, Janet, Teal'c, Ferretti, Cass. We want you both to be happy and you usually are when you're together."  
  
"Daniel, you can't interfere in other people's lives like that. Besides which there are regulations against that sort of thing."  
  
"I know. But General Hammond and the President don't have a problem with it as long as it stays off base and doesn't affect your working relationship. It'll fall under don't ask don't tell."  
  
"And no one thought to tell us this so we could make the decision for ourselves like grown adults?"  
  
"We didn't think you were ready to admit it yet and Hammond would have told you if anything happened because he knew you'd respect him enough to go and tell him and face the consequences." Janet added.  
  
"I'm tired, I'm going to bed. See yourselves out."  
  
"Sam, you need to talk to him." Janet said after her.  
  
"Right now I have no idea what's going on in my head, talking to the Colonel is the last thing I need to do right now."  
  
"Sam, take tomorrow off, you're not in any state to go to work. I'll sign you off for a mental health day."  
  
"Thanks. I'll take you up on that. Goodnight." She walked into the bedroom and closed the door.  
  
"Daniel, I think you need to go and talk to Jack. I'd say he'd be pretty drunk by now."  
  
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
TBC 


	20. Phase Four Q

"General Hammond." Janet said as she entered the briefing room.  
  
"Good morning Dr Fraiser. Have you seen Major Carter this morning she's late?" Hammond asked.  
  
"That's why I'm here sir. Major Carter won't be in today."  
  
"Why not?" Jack demanded.  
  
"I've placed her on twenty-four hours medical leave. She's been working too hard for the past few weeks and I'm worried about how her body is going to take it. General, you remember what happened the last time?"  
  
"Of course Dr Fraiser, very well. Colonel, Major if you'd like to continue with your training scheme plans."  
  
"Yes sir." Ferretti said before beginning to outline the scheme. Jack watched as Janet left.  
  
"Umm. General, could I take a bathroom break?" Jack requested.  
  
"Of course Colonel, why don't we all take a break for fifteen minutes."  
  
"Thank you sir." Jack and Ferretti stood while Hammond entered his office. Jack took off down the corridor after Jane, he just managed to slip into the elevator before the doors shut. Janet was the only occupant.  
  
"Colonel." Janet said.  
  
"Doc, so what is the real reason she isn't here. Is she avoiding me?"  
  
"She needed the day to get her head straight. But I am worried she is working too hard. You should go and see when you've finished for the day."  
  
"I don't think she wants to see me or talk to me at the moment."  
  
"She was confused. Her CO kissing her isn't something that happens to her everyday. Talk to her and listen. But before you go there is something either Daniel or Ferretti needs to tell you."  
  
"Is this about one of Ferretti's bets?" Jack asked.  
  
"No, but practically the whole base is in on that one. If you ask Daniel, tell him I said he needed to tell you too or if you ask Ferretti tell I said Sam already knows so he should tell you too."  
  
"Why can't you tell me?" He inquired.  
  
"I could but I won't. Sam's my best friend and you should hear this from one of your best friends. If you'll excuse I need to get back to the infirmary." She said as the elevator doors opened.  
  
"Go. Have a good day." Jack said before hitting the appropriate button to take him back down to the briefing room.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Two hours later General Hammond had been briefed on the ideas for the training scheme for new recruits to the SGC.  
  
"Colonel, you may as well take the rest of day as downtime. I presume all your paperwork is up to date."  
  
"Yes sir. Thank you sir."  
  
"Major, I think Hannah Jenkins needs to go over a few of her reports with you."  
  
"Yes sir." Ferretti replied.  
  
"I need to see you in my office for a few minutes first." Jack said.  
  
"Of course Colonel."  
  
"Good, your dismissed. If you see Dr Jackson tell him I'll wait until Major Carter is back for his briefing."  
  
"Yes sir." They both rose as the General left.  
  
"So what did you need to me about?" Ferretti asked as they were walking back to Jack's office.  
  
"Well talk in my office." Jack didn't say anything until they were in his office with the door firmly closed. "Janet said to tell you to tell me something. Carter already knows so you should tell me too."  
  
"Ah." Ferretti managed. "Before you say anything it wasn't my idea it was Daniel's. He just managed to rope Janet, Teal'c, Cassie and me in."  
  
"To do what?"  
  
"Is this conversation off the record Jack?" Jack nodded. "Well you see . . ." He explained everything that had happened over the past few weeks. Jack made no comment. ". . . and that's about it as far as I know." He concluded.  
  
"Okay. Thanks." Jack said. "That'll be all."  
  
"Are you okay Jack?" Ferretti asked.  
  
"I'm fine. Go and see Hannah, I'm sure she's waiting."  
  
"Yes sir. And Jack talk to her, in some things she's not as tough as she seems." Jack nodded and Ferretti left.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Jack hesitated before ringing the doorbell. When he'd left the SGC he'd just driven around for over two hours, not really going anywhere specific. He'd finally driven home and tried to watch some TV but he couldn't concentrate. So he'd finally got back in his SUV and driven over to Sam's house, only making on quick stop on the way. He rang the bell again before Sam opened the door.  
  
"Colonel?" Sam said with a yawn, before ruffling her hair with her hand. "Sorry I was asleep."  
  
"Doc Fraiser will be proud of you."  
  
"Did they need me at the base for something? I've had all my phones switched off and my pager battery is dead."  
  
"No the base is fine. But I think we need to talk about yesterday and the last four years. But I brought you chocolate you said it was a good way to apologise to you." He handed a bag full of Hershey bars.  
  
"Thanks. You'd better come in before my neighbour starts thinking you look suspicious again."  
  
"She thinks I look suspicious?"  
  
"She's 86. She thinks everyone looks suspicious except Daniel and Teal'c. She likes them because they help her carry in her shopping." She held open the door for him to come in. "I'll just go and get dressed. Make yourself comfortable."  
  
"So?" She said about five minutes later as she handed him a cup of coffee and sat with her feet curled up under her on the couch.  
  
"So. I understand you had a little chat with Daniel last night."  
  
"Uh huh. I guess he told you too."  
  
"No Ferretti did after Janet told me to ask them."  
  
"They were just trying to be good friends. They thought they were helping." She said before sipping her coffee.  
  
"So how do you feel about yesterday?" He asked.  
  
"Less confused than I was. Why did you come over then?" She asked.  
  
"I wanted to check you were okay. You left early which you never do and Daniel said he found you sat in the commissary with a full cup of cold coffee. He said he thought you'd been sat there a while. It didn't sound right so just wanted to make sure you were okay with what happened in front of Ferretti."  
  
"I think I should have asked why did you come back and kiss me?"  
  
TBC 


	21. Phase Four R

Sam waited for an answer. Jack shuffled uncomfortably and spun his mug around in his hands.  
  
"Colonel, Jack please I need to know." Sam pleaded. He shuffled again.  
  
"I take it you wouldn't take impulse as an answer?" He said before looking up at her. She shook her head. "I'm not good at this sort of thing." He shifted again.  
  
"I know, but please I need to know. Then maybe we can figure out where this leaves us."  
  
"Where do you want it to leave us?" He asked.  
  
"I'm not sure at the moment. But you're avoiding the question."  
  
"I hoped you wouldn't notice." He said with a half smile.  
  
"Maybe we could do with something strong. Do you want a beer?" Jack nodded and put his cup on a coaster on the table. Sam came back and handed him a bottle of beer.  
  
"I could leave." Jack stated. Sam looked at him. "Last night I couldn't just leave like that."  
  
"Why not?" Sam prompted.  
  
"Because there was something in your eyes when I kissed you in front of Ferretti and I wasn't sure what it meant."  
  
"And you kissed me because?"  
  
"I needed to know."  
  
"Me too." She mumbled before taking a sip of beer.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"I said me too. I'm sorry for how I reacted last night. I shouldn't have thrown you out, but I couldn't deal with everything that was going through my head. Then I kept getting flashes of Jolinar's memories of her feelings for Martouf. I just couldn't cope with it."  
  
"You still get those?" He asked.  
  
"On occasion when I let my guard down. However much I try to shut it out it's always going to be there, she's always going to be a part of me so I'm always going to have her memories and those of all her hosts. I deal with it. But that really isn't what we should be talking about I need to know what's going through your head at the moment."  
  
"I thought you always knew what I was thinking." He commented.  
  
"Sometimes you're difficult to read. In combat sure, otherwise there are some things I have figure out so I need you to tell me."  
  
"You probably don't want to know."  
  
"I need you to tell me. But not because I asked because you want to. I'm not going to force you to confess to anything, I may push but if you don't want to tell me you don't have to."  
  
"Right now the only thing going through my head is how much I want to kiss you." He paused. "Sorry that probably wasn't what you wanted to hear right now."  
  
"Let's just stick a pin in that thought for a minute." She suggested. "How do you think we should deal with this?"  
  
"It depends where we want to take it I guess. If we want to forget it, we need to figure out what we're going to do about work."  
  
"And if we don't?" She asked.  
  
"Then we decide where we're going from here."  
  
"I think right now I'd like to go back to the kissing thing." She said.  
  
"I think I can help out there." He lent forward and pressed her lips to hers.  
  
"Wow." Sam managed a few minutes.  
  
"See I knew I'd finally be able to stop you talking with long words. So do you want to try this?" He asked. Sam nodded.  
  
"Slow. Very slowly." She managed.  
  
"I think I'm going to need you to expand on that a little."  
  
"I'll buy you dinner, somewhere nice." She offered.  
  
"You don't have to I can afford dinner."  
  
"I'll pay for dinner Jack, I can afford it. Its Dad's house, he used his savings to finish paying off the mortgage. I've got eighteen months of pay in my bank account. I have almost a year's pay invested which is making a nice little profit. I can pay for dinner, Jack."  
  
"Okay, you can pay for dinner."  
  
"Good. Now scoot, go home and change."  
  
"You're kicking me out?" He asked.  
  
"You need to change; I don't think the place I'm thinking of will let you in those jeans. Besides I need to change. Come and pick me up in about seven. I'll make reservations."  
  
"Okay." He kissed her again. "I'll be back Miss Carter."  
  
"One more thing, if I'm going to call you Jack off duty you have to call me Sam."  
  
"That's a deal. I'll see you soon Sam."  
  
"Goodbye Jack."  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
RING RING  
  
"Carter." Sam said as she snatched up the phone.  
  
"Sam, its Janet."  
  
"Hey Janet."  
  
"I thought I'd better warn you that Jack's probably coming to visit you, Ferretti told him everything. He left the base a while ago."  
  
"I know he's been and gone." Sam said, sitting on the edge of the bed. She'd been deciding what to wear when Janet had called.  
  
"And?" Janet asked.  
  
"We're going to take things very, very slowly. He's coming back in a few hours and we're going out to dinner."  
  
"Good for you. Do you forgive us?"  
  
"Yeah. You only had my best interests at heart. Just don't do it again." She paused. "Unless this time you want to set up Ferretti and Hannah."  
  
"I think we can arrange that, just talk to Daniel." Janet said with a smile. "Enjoy your dinner and I want all the details."  
  
"We'll see. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."  
  
"Bye Sam."  
  
Janet smiled as she hung up the phone. Mission accomplished. She picked up the phone and dialled Daniel's lab.  
  
"Jackson." Daniel answered.  
  
"Daniel, its Janet. We did it. They're going to dinner later."  
  
"That's good." He said.  
  
"Daniel, stop what you're doing and pay attention." Janet snapped.  
  
"Sorry Janet. I was just doing some research to see if I could figure out where this planet is. What were you saving?"  
  
"They're going to give it a try. They're going to go to dinner tonight."  
  
"That's great. See I said they just needed a little push. Do you want to get dinner celebrate?"  
  
"Just you and me?" She asked.  
  
"Sure why not?" Daniel replied.  
  
"I'd like that. I'll give you a call when I finish here."  
  
"I'll see you then. Bye." They both hung up.  
  
A/N: There will only be one more chapter I think a final epilogue if you will. 


	22. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
Sam and Jack's date worked out well, they spent the whole evening discussing everything except work. They already knew each other pretty well but their dates definitely gave them a greater insight into each other. Their work at the SGC was unaffected, if anything SG-1 was closer and worked better than before. Outside work the going slowly plan didn't work very well things definitely got hot and heavy whenever they had the chance.  
  
Jacob turned out to be alright with everything although he did warn Jack if he ever hurt his daughter he would face more wrath than if all the System Lords decided to torture him all at the same time.  
  
Janet and Daniel's celebratory dinner went well and he was seen spending rather a few evenings at the Fraiser house, which delighted Cassie as she always hoped her Mom and Daniel would get together.  
  
The groups matchmaking skills were slowly working for Ferretti and Hannah. Ferretti was spending more and more time in Hannah's lab and his reports were definitely becoming more scientific.  
  
Oh and the mystery planet which was found as a result of the translation of the equation turned out to be another meeting place for the alliance of the good guys in the galaxy and this time Daniel got to do detail research on the 'meaning of life stuff'. So you could say the number 42 was related the meaning of life.  
  
THE END  
  
So what did you think? 


End file.
